Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

Y'ALL OF CTHULHU, EPISODE 8: BED, BATH, AND BEYOND

cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care.

('DEAD MAN WALKING' BY CODY FRY PLAYS)
♪ I AM A DEAD MAN WALKIN' 
♪ I SEE THE LIGHT COMIN' 
♪ AND IT FEELS WARM ON MY FACE
♪ BUT I CAN TELL IT'S GONNA BURN ME DOWN

cuppycup (Keeper): Let's pick up at the ritzy Lacroix Hotel in Las Cruces. You've checked in and Father Flint has secured all of your rooms, along with his own suite. Ellie and Johnny, you've received medical treatment from the town doctor, and from that, you all recovered 5 and 4 hit points, respectively. Johnny, you were about to buy a bath.

Chuck (Johnny): Hell yes.

cuppycup (Keeper): Johnny forks over his own money for a bath after learning that he received a reward for helping Ellie in Canutillo. And it's about 11:00 in the morning, so you don't need that bath right now, do you, Johnny?

Chuck (Johnny): I feel like my my compatriots would argue that I do need it right now. 

Chuck (Johnny): Fast-forward through Johnny's bath.

Chuck (Johnny): No, let's not fast-forward, let's slow down.

cuppycup (Keeper): This is a fine hotel, as you know; no expense was spared on this bathroom. It is luxurious. You've never seen anything quite like this before Johnny.

Chuck (Johnny): Oh, it is luxurious, but I'm unfamiliar with a lot of the things in this room, a lot of these cleaning implements I am not particularly versed in. There's like a back-scrubbing brush and I'm trying to brush my teeth with it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Also, Johnny assumed there would be an attendant here, but you've been left to your own devices. There are dozens of different soaps and bath oils in baskets surrounding the tub.

Chuck (Johnny): And I'm drinking and eating all of them.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* That's perfect.

Chuck (Johnny): I'm gonna have to go back to the doctor. Can you describe this bathroom for me? 

cuppycup (Keeper): Mhmm. The walls are made of patterned natural limestone and those cascade down into stunning tile work on the porcelain floor. The tiles have been expertly cut and dyed blue and yellow, creating this kind of arabesque design. The bathtub is also porcelain and it has those claw feet, so you know it's fancy.

Chuck (Johnny): Yeah! 

cuppycup (Keeper): That tub was pre-filled with steaming hot water, and Johnny, you've climbed into the tub and by now it is the perfect temperature. You've never felt so relaxed. And you're letting the hot water roll over those sutures and soak into your aching joints. And we know you've opened up those bath oils, whatever you haven't ingested.

Chuck (Johnny):  For sure, literally all of the contents of all of them. Johnny has no concept of what is an appropriate amount of these things to use in the bath, so he just assumed you put all of that all in there at once. Also, just to be clear, my clothes are in the bath with me. I'm not wearing them, but I'm washing them while I wash myself.

cuppycup (Keeper): You saved the $1 they had for dry cleaning.

Chuck (Johnny): Yeah. Well, just, I figured this is how you do this. And I'm using my hat as like a scrub brush; I'm like scrubbing myself with my hat.

cuppycup (Keeper): I love it. Good. The pleasing aromas are just surrounding you, and it's almost like they're...

Chuck (Johnny): They're probably overwhelming, by the amount that I put in there. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, a little bit overwhelming.

Chuck (Johnny): They cloy; like, my eyes are watering. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Still to you, it's almost like a reassuring hug in this bath, and you're just so relaxed.

Chuck (Johnny): And I'm a living Scentsy commercial.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's just nice. It's a nice break from the chaos of the caves, from the getting stitched up.

Chuck (Johnny): Are there any candles?

cuppycup (Keeper): Would you like to light a candle?

Chuck (Johnny): As many as I can find. And if it's not too much to ask, a glass of wine would be nice.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, so you lit one giant scented pillar candle over near the sink basin before you entered the bath, and you also found about a dozen tea candles that are now lit and floating in the tub with you. The water continues washing over those cuts and bruises, and Johnny, you enter a state of complete relaxation. Your body sinks further and further into the warm water until you're submerged, looking up at the flickering light from the candles.

Chuck (Johnny): Yeah, I'm going to try and reach up and grab the edges of that tub and pull myself back out.

cuppycup (Keeper): You try, Johnny, to reach out to the edges of the tub, but it's as though you're being pulled down and the porcelain rim seems so distant. You can actually see hazy clawed feet from the tub above you and you no longer feel like you're in control. Johnny continues sinking and sinking and sinking, and that water becomes at first tepid, and then cold and turbulent. You're seized by anxiety, just swirling downward into a void of infinitely deep water. You feel an equivalently deep pit in your stomach. You're helpless. As Johnny succumbs to the turbulent water, he is facing downward, deeper into the water, into an abyss. At first it looks dead. But then, there are these faint lights, aren't there? Only these aren't tea candles, you're looking straight down, but what is that glimmering at the bottom of the sea? Give me a SWIM roll to see if Johnny can get a little bit closer to those lights.

Chuck (Johnny): Oh, God, is that really a skill? Hey, that's a 19! 

cuppycup (Keeper): On the SUCCESS against 20, Johnny dives deeper into the water, and now it's obvious that those lights are stars. You see constellations, Johnny. One of them is so bright and familiar to you; it's calling to you, Johnny, and its flickering stars are synced perfectly to your movements and your heartbeat. And now you've kind of given into your body, just sinking through the cold void into the warmth of that constellation. You could live among these stars, couldn't you? The darkness begins to part in front of you, Johnny, and swimming up from beneath you, you see a woman. Her ink black hair is dancing in the water. You know you know her, you know her face, but it's not clear how. She smiles and reaches to you, Johnny, and she grabs your wrist, and as she does this, her fingers uniformly wrap around and tighten. Her fingers are so long, and they continue to creep up your arm and around your shoulder like tentacles. Now you feel her grab your other wrist, Johnny, and when you turn to look, not 2 inches from your eyes, you see the decomposing face of your old partner, Jack. He's smiling, too, but his mouth is filled with sea slugs and rotting seaweed. But he's not pulling you toward the stars. He's trying to pull you up, away from the constellation. Give me another SWIM roll to see if Johnny can break away toward those stars.

Chuck (Johnny): That is a 62. That's not going to do it, not by a wide margin, I believe.

cuppycup (Keeper):  On the FAIL, the combined force of the tentacles and Jack's hand, they rip you back toward the surface, and you can see the lights go out on that constellation, as the water becomes warmer and clearer and you move further and further away from that abyss. Your body, Johnny, thrashes up and out of that water in the bathtub. And you're now sitting up in that beautiful, ornate bathroom, panting, panicked breaths, taking in more aromatics than you probably should.

Chuck (Johnny): There's actually not a whole lot of oxygen in the room.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's time for a SANITY check, Johnny.

Chuck (Johnny): So that's a 100. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh god.

Wes (Jeremiah): Suuuuuuck. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, with a FUMBLED check there, I think I'm supposed to give you the maximum loss, but to keep it interesting, I'm going to increase your roll. Give me a d10 roll.

Chuck (Johnny): OK. A 10. Hey, I just rolled 100 and a 10, I rolled max on both of those. I'm getting screwed.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, with a loss of 10, do you want to describe your involuntary action?

Chuck (Johnny): I start writhing around in the water because my jacket and pants and shirt have wrapped around me, and I think that they're are all tentacles. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Ooh, I love that.

Chuck (Johnny): And I'm flailing against it, and I have grabbed my hat and I'm hitting at the rest of my clothes with my hat. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, good.

Chuck (Johnny): And I'm trying to scramble out of the tub.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a DEXTERITY roll now, as your... 

Chuck (Johnny): *laughs* As I fight my clothing.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, you're trying to scramble out of this tub, but as you've been thrashing around, there's water everywhere and the surfaces and floor are just incredibly slippery.

Chuck (Johnny): Jesus. OK, well, that was a 98.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh my God. OK, yeah.

Chuck (Johnny): Did I just break my hip?

cuppycup (Keeper): As Johnny exits the tub, his mind is on tentacles and stars and on everything except for his footing. And he slips on the wet tile and falls backwards, banging his head on the edge of that porcelain tub. I'll let you roll your own damage here, Chuck. Give me a d4 for Johnny.

Chuck (Johnny): 2.

cuppycup (Keeper): It would have been sweet if you had rolled a 4 there, you're just maxing out all the bad stuff. Alright, so you're going to lose 2 of those hit points you got back from the doctor's visit. But the good thing is you did maintain consciousness. But before we're done with you, give me an INTELLIGENCE check on that 10.

Chuck (Johnny): 75.

cuppycup (Keeper): The failed INTELLIGENCE role is good here.

Chuck (Johnny): Oh, that's right, I don't want to win that one. OK, good.

cuppycup (Keeper): So you're not having a BOUT OF MADNESS, but that constellation you saw, it's nagging at you. But you're trying to put it out of your mind.

Chuck (Johnny): I think I'm just going to go to sleep right there on the bathroom floor.

cuppycup (Keeper): Johnny rests his head down on a pile of clothes and goes to sleep on the cold, wet floor in the lap of luxury.

Chuck (Johnny): There you go.

cuppycup (Keeper): Now we travel through that locked door and down a long hallway into room 7, where the sheriff is resting among fresh blankets and pillows. Ellie just had a long visit with the doctor getting those "mountain lion" wounds stitched up and now she is resting. And if I remember correctly, Ellie drank nearly an entire bottle of whiskey by herself.

Alex  (Ellie): Yeah, that's accurate. And probably a little extra between then and now.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, yeah. Like you were on that horse, Ellie, you're slipping in and out of consciousness, really feeling the effects of the whiskey and that blood loss. You do eventually fall asleep, Ellie. And when you start coming to, it feels like you've plummeted into sobriety from the height of intoxication. And this feeling it's very noticeable to you. Your mind is sharp, it's clear. The smell of evergreens is hitting your nose, and you hear the crunching of footsteps along a gravel path. And when you open your eyes, Ellie, you realize that these are your footsteps. You pause to take in the suddenly different scenery around you, and you look up at a dark night sky that's illuminated by the moon and hundreds of twinkling stars. These are reflected on the surface of the lake running alongside you. A bit of fog is rolling off the surface of that lake and the air feels colder than what you're used to, but it's not uncomfortably cold. You're carrying heavy books and a notebook under your right arm, Ellie; you glance down and noticed that the subjects are anthropology, theology and ancient Egypt. The mist blowing off that lake is now crossing the path. This is quite serene and pleasing to you. It's a perfect evening for a walk around the lake.

Alex  (Ellie): Great, I'll continue walking, then.

cuppycup (Keeper):  You do try to enjoy the walk Ellie, but there's this creeping feeling of dread, like you're being followed, but you don't really want to check. You don't want to look behind you. And there's something so strange about this walk too; you feel almost like you're taking in all the scenery through someone else's eyes.

Alex  (Ellie): I'm going to keep walking, but pick up the pace a little bit.

cuppycup (Keeper): Your crunching footsteps are closer together now, as you walk faster and faster and you start to hear more and more footsteps, but all of these can't be yours. And at that realization, you notice a shadow beginning to creep up the path on your left side. The shadow lengthens across the path in front of you, but you can't really distinguish it as a human shadow.

Alex  (Ellie): Can I drop the books and turn around to see what's there?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure, yeah. You throw the books down and turn around. Give me a POWER roll for Ellie. 

Alex  (Ellie): 54.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, you failed that role against a 50. I'm not going to let you use LUCK here, either. 

Alex  (Ellie): *affronted* Why?! 

cuppycup (Keeper): Well, it's a dream. You'll need your LUCK in the real world.

Alex  (Ellie): Alright, fine.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ellie, you turn around and see something standing there which has stopped dead in its tracks.

Alex  (Ellie): Can I talk to him? 

Ellie: Hello. Beautiful evening, isn't it? Is there anywhere to get whiskey around here?

cuppycup (Keeper): Now Ellie, you glimpse a figure with... 

Kate: ...Long limbs and glowing eyes. When I attempt to speak, my voice dissipates like a cold breath. The lake is deadly quiet now. The insects have stilled and the wind has fallen. I stare at the outline of a man, but its mass is not flesh and bones, but swirling black fog. My shoes sink into thick mud where it was dry only a moment ago. Then, those bright, shimmering eyes roll into darkness and the creature's face elongates, like black clay being pulled into the sky, growing and growing. A now monstrous, undulating tentacle pierces the starry sky. The form in front of me, the base of the tentacle, tears itself apart into a screaming maw, with hundreds of razor teeth. I feel the weight of its agony as the mouth stretches and stretches, encompassing me and the entire world, it seems.

cuppycup (Keeper): And from the blackness, Ellie, you find yourself somewhere else. And there's this enormous sense of relief. You open your eyes and appear to be standing in some kind of office or classroom. There are books strewn all over the floor in little piles. This place is a mess.

Alex  (Ellie): Is there anyone else in here?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, the room's pretty dark, but as you turn to your right, you see where the dim sunlight is streaming in through some window blinds onto a desk covered in papers and more books, and there's a man sitting behind that desk. He's a striking older gentleman; he was probably a handsome man in his prime, but he looks sunworn, and his hair, he looks like he's been running his hands through it all day. He's disheveled, he looks, not frantic, but certainly concerned as you make eye contact. Ellie, you've never seen this man before, but you feel like you know him somehow.

Dr. Henry: Well, what does it mean?

Alex  (Ellie): What does what mean? 

Dr. Henry: What does it mean, Kate? We're not playing games here. 

cuppycup (Keeper): And you look down in your hands and you're holding what looks like the belt buckle Johnny showed you back in that cabin.

Dr. Henry: You said you know what it means. What does it mean?

Alex  (Ellie): I don't remember. I don't remember what it means.

Dr. Henry: *exasperated* Ah, students. Funny thing, aren't they?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me an INTELLIGENCE check for Ellie, see if you know something.

Alex  (Ellie): I rolled a 6.

cuppycup (Keeper): On the SUCCESS, you take a closer look at that tablet, and you do know this, somehow. You've figured it out. 

Kate: I know this tablet well. I've studied for months its depiction of Set and Anubis offering the soul arc. But to whom do they offer the ibis and what is its relevance to Sparky?

Alex  (Ellie): I already told you what I know about the offering. I need more time to figure out the rest. Can I leave now?

Dr. Henry: Hand me the tablet, Kate. What does it mean in regards to the tablets we found in Egypt? You said something about a child.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me another INTELLIGENCE check to see if you know more.

Alex  (Ellie): 75. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, so that's all you know about this tablet that you've just handed to the man. He looks like he's growing impatient, and he sighs.

Dr. Henry: It's all right, Kate. I'm sure you'll remember. Are you all set for our trip out West? Did you withdraw the funds? Kate? Kate?

cuppycup (Keeper): And now Ellie has been returned safely to the bed covers of the Lacroix Hotel, and you notice that you have the journal that you found in that cabin, Kate's journal, it's open on your chest. You've been reading this, haven't you? Alex, give me a SANITY check for Ellie.

Alex  (Ellie): 15.

cuppycup (Keeper):  With a pass, you'll lose just 1 SANITY point from that dream experience and with the whiskey, you probably can make it back to sleep.

Alex  (Ellie): More than likely, yes.

cuppycup (Keeper): And now with everyone napping or resting or lying naked on a bathroom floor into the late afternoon, the party begins to feel more like their old selves again. All of you decide to convene in the posh lobby of the Lacroix Hotel to continue your exploration of this town. But first, as you kind of look around taking a headcount, you realize that no one accounted for Sam, and he's gone. He's just gone. Maybe he ran off.

Jay (Lance): Well. 

Chuck (Johnny): Johnny tousles his hair and Sam runs off into the distance.

Jeremiah: Let's all tell our favorite stories about Sam.

Chuck (Johnny): Well, you win some, you lose Sam.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh god.

Chuck (Johnny): Yeah, you're welcome, Jay.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, he's fled. You can choose to do nothing about that if you'd like. I'm fine with that. Maybe he got homesick.

Chuck (Johnny): You just don't want to track Sam anymore.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, I don't want to do the kid's voice anymore.

Jay (Lance): *high-pitched voice* Oh, hey. 

Jeremiah: You guys remember when Sam did the thing?

cuppycup (Keeper): So after some deep conversation about your highlights with Sam, you now have an opportunity to explore Las Cruces. In addition to the businesses you noticed on your way into town, you also saw several potentially interesting locales on your way to the hotel.

cuppycup (Keeper): You know where Johnny is going, let's not even pretend.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yes, Johnny, all of you noticed the Boot Jack Saloon next to the doctor's office and some other points of interest as well. If you walk outside the hotel doors, to your left, there's a railroad track running adjacent to the town and the train depot is next to the hotel. It looks pretty busy, with porters running around with dollies and packages, and off in the distance just outside of town, there's this little fenced in cemetery literally on the wrong side of the tracks, I suppose. As far as businesses, you saw the Las Cruces Bank and Trust that was connected to a little barter exchange. There's a white adobe building with coffins out on display. It looked like the undertaker's office. 

Jay (Lance): Hell yeah. 

cuppycup (Keeper): There was a dilapidated gambling hall called Sureshot. You saw Saint Margaret's church, this was a mission-style church with two steeples. There was a general store, an apothecary, and a clothier, if you need any essentials. And of course, there was that Boot Jack Saloon.

Chuck (Johnny): You want us to do all this investigating and we just want to go get drunk. 

Wes (Jeremiah): What about the apothecary?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, certainly you can stop by the apothecary. Your party is still struggling with health issues, so make sense to me.

Jay (Lance): I could go for some weed.

Alex  (Ellie): Do they have gummies?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, probably. I think they just got a license to sell CBD products.

Brandon (Flint): We're all a little stressed out here.

Jeremiah: Y'all want to go get fucked up?

Flint: I'm down.

Jeremiah:  Hell yeah. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, so you walk from your hotel over to the apothecary, which is on the opposite side of the road, but only a few buildings down. It's a rather unassuming building on the outside. It's called Bloom's Apothecary and the words "one of a kind!" are painted on the front window. The building itself is gray with white trim and a black door. The wooden sign swinging near the door shows the familiar symbol of a bowl with a snake wrapped around it. When you walk inside the apothecary, it looks kind of like a candy store in here, just shelves upon shelves of labeled jars, and beneath the shelves are dozens of drawers in three rows. There's a long counter running in front of the shelves and there's a large mortar and pestle sitting on the countertop. You can actually see some remnant powder around that. There's a young gentleman with brown hair sitting behind the counter, he's got his legs kicked up, he's wearing a white apron and he seems to be daydreaming. It takes him a minute to even notice you walked in.

Pharmacist: Oh, hey, sorry I didn't see you there. What ails you?

Flint: Yeah, this is a...I don't know how to phrase this. Umm...Is there anything in this town besides alcohol? 

Pharmacist: Oh, would you like to buy some cocaine?

Flint: Maybe a little less intense than cocaine, like just like regular weed? Do you have regular weed?

Pharmacist: Well, you want to roll some blankets?

Flint: Yes! 

cuppycup (Keeper): He reaches into his own pocket for this and he produces a small cloth sack filled with marijuana.

Pharmacist: 25 cents.

Flint: And how much for the cocaine, out of curiosity? 

Pharmacist: I can give you some of each for 50 cents.

Flint: Perfect. Roll it up.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, so Father Flint completes the transaction, and he hands you that cloth sack and a tiny vial of cocaine.

Flint: Great.

Johnny: I was wondering if you might be a purveyor of Zeke's Curious Concoction.

Pharmacist: Yeah, of course we've got some Zeke's! We also have the generic label, the Q10 concoction.

Johnny: Oh, you know, I'm going to be hitting the road so I might need a couple half dozen vials. What sizes do you [have]? Do you sell it in a handle?

cuppycup (Keeper): A few jugs of laudanum.

Pharmacist: We sell Zeke's in vials. I think we've got four left.

Johnny: And how much will that run me, my good man?

Pharmacist: Let's see, four vials of Zeke's...uh, I can square up with you for a dollar on those.

Johnny: You have got yourself a deal!

cuppycup (Keeper): Not only does he give you the four vials, Johnny, but they come in a really nice wooden holder.

Chuck (Johnny): Excellent. They've got a carrying case. That's to make me feel like I'm not an addict, but a connoisseur. 

Jeremiah: You got anything that'll knock you out but make you not dream?

Pharmacist: Oh, Fireball? 

Jeremiah: Yeah, I just want to not feel feelings anymore.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jeremiah, the pharmacist goes to the back and he returns with a bottle of light amber-colored, syrupy liquid and his breath now smells strongly of cinnamon.

Pharmacist: Here you go. Just 35 cents on this one, sir.

Jeremiah: OK, I'll buy it.

cuppycup (Keeper): And it seems like he's just making these prices up off the top of his head. He packages this up very nicely for you too, Jeremiah; he covers it with cloth and ties it up with twine.

Flint: This seems like a really nice place. This is great.

Jeremiah: You guys do like gift baskets for Mother's Day?

Pharmacist: Of course we do. We call that service "Edibles arrangements." 

Brandon (Flint): Goddamnit.

cuppycup (Keeper): Very good. With your new provisions, you can all head over to the saloon at last.

Flint: OK, thank you very much. That's awesome. Appreciate it.

cuppycup (Keeper): You do notice as you're walking down the street toward the Boot Jack Saloon that Ida's curios stand is gone.

Alex  (Ellie): What? 

Chuck (Johnny): Gone like pulled up stakes and packed up and headed out, or gone like it was never there in the first place?

cuppycup (Keeper): Well, give me a SPOT HIDDEN roll for Johnny. Let's see what you notice.

Chuck (Johnny): Yeah, that's a 10.

Wes (Jeremiah): Yeah!

Chuck (Johnny): I think that's EXTREME.

cuppycup (Keeper): With an EXTREME SUCCESS, Johnny gets down on the ground and starts looking at that little patch of grass where the blankets of goods sat, and you do see some depressions in the grass here. And in the dirt, you can see wheel marks where that cart was situated.

Chuck (Johnny): OK, so I've confirmed that it didn't not exist.

cuppycup (Keeper): That's right. Johnny doesn't have any reason to believe the cart was an illusion or something he imagined. And that helmet's gone as well, of course.

Chuck (Johnny): Damn.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, so continuing onward around the bend to the Boot Jack Saloon, you turn the corner at the doctor's office and you approach this red cedar building. This might have been nice at some point, but it's a pretty rundown place today. You hear piano music filtering out into the street; it sounds pretty lively inside. It's pretty raucous. After taking one step through the swinging doors of the saloon, you realize this is the type of place where you'd expect to see, and Ellie you might know this better than anyone, cockfighting and bare-knuckle brawling and gambling and prostitution. And I'm saying you know this, Ellie, as a law woman, not as a partaker in these activities.

Alex  (Ellie): Naturally, yeah. 

Chuck (Johnny): You don't know her.

cuppycup (Keeper): There are plenty of tables here; it is crowded, but most of the patrons are up and about. Some of them are giving you kind of a side-eye, maybe since you're first-timers, and as outsiders, you definitely do feel some tension, especially in the company of the sheriff.

Brandon (Flint):  And a shirtless priest. 

cuppycup (Keeper): And a shirtless priest. To your right, there's a very long extended bartop, with a gentleman frantically trying to fill orders. And a bit nearer to you than that, there's an elegant woman. She's watching you. She's tall with brown curls, and she's dressed head-to-toe in red chiffon and she's wearing a gorgeous hat. It's tilted back on her head and there are fresh flowers pinned around the brim.

Helen: Welcome to the Boot Jack Saloon, folks. I'm Helen, the proprietor, at your service. Hang onto your weapons, but keep 'em holstered. Pay for your drinks before you leave. Dress however you'd like.

Flint: You've never seen a priest without a shirt on.

Helen: We don't want any new trouble in here, especially coming from outsiders drifting through. This ain't Mesilla. Tom over there will help you wet your whistle. See me if you'd like to arrange any additional entertainment this evening. Keep to yourselves and we'll be just fine.

Brandon (Flint): Well, that's interesting. Yeah, so I guess I'll go to Tom then instead and get some drinks. 

Alex  (Ellie): I need a drink.

Brandon (Flint): Alright. I'll do 5 whiskey waters for the group. 

Tom: 5 whiskey waters? How much water do you need?

Alex  (Ellie): None in mine.

Lance: Zero.

Jeremiah: Very little.

Flint: Just whiskeys. 

Tom: 5 whiskeys then.

cuppycup (Keeper): And he reaches down beneath the bar. 

Lance: Nuh-uh! Top shelf.

cuppycup (Keeper):  He looks at you for approval, Father.

Flint: Yeah, fine.

cuppycup (Keeper): There's a mirror behind the bar and you can see Tom roll his eyes a little bit, but then he does reach up to grab a very nice looking decanter of whiskey. He uncorks that decanter and pours 5 glasses of whiskey, each about a quarter full.

Brandon (Flint): Cool. And then I take it back. I carry as many as I can. I should be able to carry all those, very carefully, but I take them back to the group.

Chuck (Johnny): You have very large hands.

Brandon (Flint):  Two are resting on my pecs.

cuppycup (Keeper): Goddamnit. Are you grabbing a table then?

Brandon (Flint): Sure.

Alex  (Ellie): Yes. 

Jay (Lance): We're getting bottle service! You think they had, like, servers walking around with sparklers in the bottles back in Las Cruces? 

Brandon (Flint): They just shoot revolvers. *laughs* Alright. Now we just drink. 

Chuck (Johnny): OK, so flash forward to the next day.

cuppycup (Keeper): Just as you're finishing up that first round of drinks, a patron at the bar stumbles over to your table, and he puts a hand on Johnny's shoulder and he says to the group,

Heck: Hey, you the folks done blown in here with the camel, yeah? Y'all want to bend an elbow with me? We don't get many visitors these days.

cuppycup (Keeper): And he gestures over to the bar.

Heck: I know y'all ain't from around here. Where are you all coming from anyway?

Jeremiah: Are you a fuckin' cop?

Lance: Who the fuck are you talking to, you fucking narc?

Johnny: You guys, we are literally hanging out with a cop.

Heck: Whoa, whoa, whoa. No harm, no harm intended. I just wanted to buy a round for y'all. You seem like interesting folk. Maybe you want to try some of this clear liquor I've been drinkin'? What do you say? 

Ellie: *astounded* To clear liquor?

Heck: I mean, y'all can drink whatever you want. Brown liquor is OK too. I don't know if I can be paying for that top shelf.

Johnny: What would you say this clear liquor is made of?

Heck: It's that Russian potato ferment, that vodka. 

Chuck (Johnny): Johnny would like a vodka.

Jeremiah: I don't trust nothing you can see through.

Heck: Y'all can order whatever you want. I'm just buying the round, is all.

Flint: Oh, that's great. I am very into someone else paying for some shit from this group. 

Brandon (Flint): I'll be nice though and I'll just get a well whiskey on this nice gentleman's tab and I also [ask],

Flint: What's your name son? 

Heck: Oh, everyone around here just calls me Heck.

Jeremiah: Heck? 

Flint: Well, I'm Father Flint, so I appreciate your name not being Hell, and this is the rest of our group. I'll let them introduce themselves if they want to.

Heck: No need. I just wanted to see if I can help y'all get set up in town, see if y'all need anything.

Johnny: What line of work did you say you were in, Heck?

Heck: Well I do some heres and theres; I help out across town, do a little cleanup work for the blacksmith. I put some bodies in the ground for the undertaker. I'm a little bit of everything. I'm a caretaker over at the Prestwick house, or I was before everything went south over there. And to be honest...

Everyone: *speaks all at once*

Chuck (Johnny): And what is that?

Heck: Oh, the Prestwick House, it's just out of town, over the tracks and past the cemetery, south of that little grove of trees out there.

Lance: Alright, I'm in. Let's go see the house.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jay, give me an INTELLIGENCE roll for Lance, just to see if you remember something.

Jay (Lance): I rolled a 2 and an 8.

Chuck (Johnny): 28?

Jay (Lance): So what did I learn?

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, with that HARD SUCCESS, you actually think you've heard Colin Brock mention that house before. This place has something to do with that research, with those experiments that Brock was always going on about.

Lance: Listen, Ellie, that house has something to do with Colin Brock.

Ellie: How do you know?

Lance:  I've heard the Prestwick House mentioned several times. There's something going on there, and I think it may be worth checking out.

cuppycup (Keeper):  And Heck is eavesdropping on all of this. 

Heck: I ain't know about all that, but that place gives me the heebie jeebies.

cuppycup (Keeper): And just then, another stranger, a larger man, walks over and kind of playfully shoves Heck to the side.

Jimbo: Heck, what are you doing talking to these Texas bulls? Ask them what they're running from.

Lance: Heck, can you tell me who the fuck this guy is?

Heck: Oh, that's just Jimbo. We go way back. He's like a big brother to me.

Lance: Yeah, your name's Jimbo? 

Jimbo: That's right, Big Red. Now, you know who I am. I don't care if you're yella, I'm just glad you made the time to unwind with us.

Lance: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, did you just call me yellow? 

cuppycup (Keeper): And then Jimbo, this imposing man wearing coveralls, he whistles over to the bar.

Jimbo: *whistles* Hey, Tommy, send up some more firewater for me and my fine posse here. Tabasco in mine, you know how I like it.

cuppycup (Keeper): And Tom quickly brings those drinks over, Jimbo, he picks up his shot and takes a whiff of it before looking over at Lance.

Jimbo: Hit your nose with this one. It burns a little!

cuppycup (Keeper): And Jimbo, he throws the shot in your face, Lance. And it does burn with that Tabasco. Your eyes are on fire. Jimbo is going to throw a haymaker at Lance and I'm going to give him a bonus die, since Lance can't see anything at the moment. It's an 88 and a 68, so Jimbo throws a punch, but it's not going to land. What is Lance doing to protect himself here?

Jay (Lance): Lance, being someone who's experienced in boxing, immediately goes to block, with his arm protecting the side of his head. Jimbo's throwing the right haymaker, Lance has his left arm up to cover the ear and the general elbow... 

Brandon (Flint): To cover his cauliflower ears, effectively.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, Jimbo missed that cue, that you have cauliflower ears.

Jay (Lance): Yeah, I mean, most people would have, but I guess Jimbo's a fucking idiot. Anyways, Lance deflects the blow; it may leave a little bit of a sting on his arm, but no real damage is done.

Heck: Damn it, Jimbo, we was being friendly. Why are you always starting somethin'?

cuppycup (Keeper): Then Heck, he grabs an empty chair from the table behind you and he hoists it up over his head like he's about to bash Johnny with it. Johnny, I'll give you a chance to DODGE this chair.

Chuck (Johnny): What? I don't understand.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, Johnny's going to get to DODGE here, even without Sinead.

Chuck (Johnny): A chance to do what? I don't even know that word. 

cuppycup (Keeper): That's on your character sheet as DODGE.

Chuck (Johnny): *skeptical* Mhm.

cuppycup (Keeper): You could FIGHT BACK if you'd rather.

Chuck (Johnny): Johnny is going to try and DODGE. So, uh, Johnny got a 42. That's not going to do it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Heck failed too, so with both FAILs, it looked like he was going to break that chair over Johnny's head, but instead it crashes down onto the table and splinters apart. And now Heck is wielding one of those broken chair legs as a weapon.

Heck: Dang, Jimbo, this is a big group, man! 

Helen: No fightin'! Y'all get outside.

Brandon (Flint): Do we have an equal amount of care for our buddy who's full of shit? Are we jumping up to help him? Because  I'm right behind him. I'm right behind him. Ready to rare, as much as my, well how much STRENGTH do I have? My 45 STRENGTH allows.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, y'all can definitely jump into the mix. Heck did. I want everyone in the party to give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll. 

Chuck (Johnny): I don't appreciate the assumption that Johnny is going to fight and brawl.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, that's fair. It's either BRAWL or STEALTH if you want to slink away in the chaos.

Brandon (Flint): I'm trying to send it as proof, but I rolled a 2 for FIGHTING, so...

cuppycup (Keeper): A 2?! OK, so Father Flint, with his pecs glistening, what's your go-to move here? How are you fighting?

Brandon (Flint): What I'm imagining is I'm just taking bottles from the back of the bar and just smashing them on people, but also keeping a couple of bottles for myself. If I have a 2, I can probably walk out of there with a couple of bottles of whiskey.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. So Flint manages to knock 3 of the regulars out, including Jimbo, by smashing liquor bottles over their heads and across their faces. Flint's body is covered in blood and whiskey now. 

Alex  (Ellie): I kind of want to shoot my gun in the air, just to stop it. Would that be a STEALTH roll?

Chuck (Johnny): I think that that's a good move.

Brandon (Flint): That's great.

Alex  (Ellie): OK, that's what we're doing.

cuppycup (Keeper): I like it. You'll just need to shoot your gun. I'll ask you to roll INTIMIDATE, though, to see if anybody in the bar really cares that you're doing this. But I will give you a bonus die, since it is a gunshot in a small building.

Alex  (Ellie): A 3.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, sweet. That's EXTREME SUCCESS. So how do you want to play this?

Alex  (Ellie): I don't sneak away, but I think I kind of remove myself from it and just shoot it in the air just to make everybody stop.

cuppycup (Keeper): Can we get a little hollering?

Alex  (Ellie): *laughs* OK, alright, so I shoot the gun.

Ellie: Everybody just needs to calm down.

cuppycup (Keeper): And Helen nods in your direction, Ellie, and now she's got her rifle out, too. Maybe she has your back.

Alex  (Ellie): Oh, that's nice.

cuppycup (Keeper): Everyone in the bar is kind of in a freeze frame after the gunshot. Father Flint is holding a broken bottle over his head, Lance is rearing back to punch a stranger. Johnny is... 

Chuck (Johnny): Johnny is on all fours under a table, trying to sneak out the door.

cuppycup (Keeper): Heck is dragging Jimbo out of the bar. Jeremiah is...just what is Jeremiah doing?

Wes (Jeremiah): It's all just chaos all around me, but I'm just chillin.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, OK, Jeremiah's just sitting at the table enjoying his whiskey. It's almost like there's a force field around him during the bar fight, and at some point, Jeremiah, the cedar that makes up the floor and the walls and even the table in front of you, that cedar smell is, it's transporting you. You're usually a man who can hold his liquor, but you're zoning out here. And the smell of cedar, it's all too comforting. It's too familiar. And maybe you dipped into that Fireball a little bit, too, when no one was looking. And Jeremiah, you tip back in your chair a little bit too far, just past the point of no return, where your feet can't find the floor and you actually fall backwards and crash onto the floor almost in slow motion, in the middle of this brawl. And no one notices and you're just lying there with a big smile across your face.

Jeremiah: *moans*. 

cuppycup (Keeper): When you open your eyes, you're not in any bar. And the smell of cedar is so close now, it's so familiar. It's almost as though these past few weeks, no, the past few years, were just a dream, Jeremiah. You're back home now. Everything seems normal in your cedar cabin in Idaho.

Wes (Jeremiah): Right. So I'm dreaming in a house that I grew up in.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, this whole thing was just a bad dream. And now you're back in your bed.

Jeremiah: Well, reckon I might get up and fix me some breakfast.

cuppycup (Keeper): And as the thought of breakfast crosses your mind, Jeremiah, the smell of bacon wafts into the room.

Jeremiah: Oh, boy.

cuppycup (Keeper): And you hear someone call out from behind your bedroom door.

Joseph: I hear you, Jeremiah, I'm fixin' breakfast. Get your lazy ass in here and help me.

Jeremiah: Pappy? 

Joseph: Pappy?! Are you dreaming again, Jeremiah? This is your brother, Joseph.

Jeremiah: I'm sorry, it's just that bacon smell got me. What are we doing? What do you need?

Joseph: Come on in and give me a hand with the potatoes.

Jeremiah: Alright.

Wes (Jeremiah): I'm going to open the door and go to the kitchen where my brother is at. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK. You try to turn the door handle, but the door is locked.

Joseph: Everything OK, Jeremiah?

Jeremiah: Yeah, the door's just stuck.

Joseph: Oh, you know how it is in these old houses. Just give it one good tug.

Wes (Jeremiah): I tug the door really hard. Can I roll for hard tug?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, give me a STRENGTH check. 

Wes (Jeremiah): I roll for STRENGTH and we got a...34. My STRENGTH is 60, so, yes, that is SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): On the SUCCESS, the door doesn't budge, but a series of cracks begin to form around the door handle.

Jeremiah: It's really stuck.

Joseph: Come on now.

Jeremiah: I'm doing the best I can, I'm trying.

cuppycup (Keeper): And as Jeremiah continues tugging on the handle, one of those cracks opens up just enough so that you can see through the door.

Wes (Jeremiah): Ok, can I look through the door? Er, look through the crack?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yes. Jeremiah puts his eye up to the crack in the door, and on the other side, this doesn't look like your kitchen or any type of living space. It's very dark...it's quite ominous. There's a, it's like a shroud of black mist. And now it smells like that bacon is beginning to burn.

Jeremiah: Hey, are you watching that pork on the stove? Because it's starting to smell a little weird.

cuppycup (Keeper): There's no response. 

Jeremiah: Hello? I was really excited about bacon. 

Wes (Jeremiah): Can I do a SPOT HIDDEN through the crack?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure. That's a good idea.

Wes (Jeremiah): I got an 11, which makes it oh, damn, 1 off from like a super HARD USA number one SUCCESS. 

cuppycup (Keeper): On the SUCCESS, Jeremiah can make out a figure now moving around in there. Running, really.

Wes (Jeremiah): Is this figure humanoid?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, this looks like a person to you. And now you can feel heat coming from the other side of that door. The door itself is getting warm.

Jeremiah: Hey, is that kitchen on fire?

cuppycup (Keeper): You hear muffled screams.

Jeremiah: Johnny? Jerry? 

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Joseph.

Jeremiah:  Oh, God, Joseph, are you OK?

cuppycup (Keeper): There's no answer. 

Jeremiah: Moan twice if you're fine.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Now you also hear the window in your room beginning to crack.

Jeremiah: Um, is there an earthquake?

cuppycup (Keeper): You don't feel any vibrations. 

Wes (Jeremiah): Can I go look out the window?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure. Jeremiah, you go over to the window looking out over the Idaho countryside and one of the four window panes is broken. Through it, you can partially see your reflection and the shadow being cast on your face is just off. Shadows are closing in on your nose from both ears; it's very unsettling. Now, if you look over through one of the unbroken panes, you see a beautiful Idaho sky and the pine trees that surround your house. But as you look back through that broken pane, through your reflection, Jeremiah, you see that those trees are becoming restless in the wind. You look back through another pane and the trees are still. But through that broken pane, the remoteness of the house is striking to you. 

Wes (Jeremiah): So I'm out in the middle of fucking nowhere.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, and the house is beginning to squeak in the wind. The boards are squeaking.

Wes (Jeremiah): Oh, good. OK, super.

cuppycup (Keeper): Still, though, looking into that broken window pane, the sky is blue, but it's not like the blue Idaho sky you know, it's not like the sky you see through the unbroken panes. It's luminescent, like a lightning flash was frozen in time.

Wes (Jeremiah): OK, that's vivid.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a SPOT HIDDEN roll.

Wes (Jeremiah): 27, which is also a good SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper):  With another good roll, you're fixating on that broken window pane and those aren't quite trees anymore, are they, Jeremiah?

Wes (Jeremiah): Um, when you ask it like that, I don't think that they are quite trees.

cuppycup (Keeper): They seem like giant effigies, with impossibly long, thick branches that are bound together. And it's not just the wind that's making them restless either, is it?

Wes (Jeremiah): *nervous* No.

cuppycup (Keeper): They seem to be alive.

Wes (Jeremiah): Oh, neat.

cuppycup (Keeper): As they move closer to the cabin, you notice that they're covered in animal pelts that are flapping in the breeze.

Wes (Jeremiah): Completely normal. 

cuppycup (Keeper): And now, Jeremiah, you're feeling a draft blowing in through the cracks in that bedroom door to the kitchen, and this feeling of tingling anguish overwhelms you.

Jeremiah: Oh god, what in the absolute hell is going on here?

Wes (Jeremiah):  Do I at all know I'm in a dream or is this just reality for Jeremiah?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's quite surreal.

Wes (Jeremiah): Can I look in my pockets to see if I have anything of use?

cuppycup (Keeper): You're in your PJs, so you could just open up the back.

Wes (Jeremiah): Yeah, I've been keeping a lot in the butt flap.

cuppycup (Keeper): You do see your old pickax resting in the corner, just kind of propped up against one of the walls there.

Jeremiah: Hey, my pickax! I thought it were gone!

cuppycup (Keeper): As all of this is happening, Jeremiah, you instinctively feel the need to break through that door to the kitchen. The cracks begin to fissure and open wider and wider the more you fight against the door.

Wes (Jeremiah): I go grab my pickax and start hacking at the door.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, give me a STRENGTH check on that one.

Wes (Jeremiah): And that's a 69. That is not nice. Yeah, that is not a success, that is a FAIL.

cuppycup (Keeper):  And the cracks are now spidering across the window and through the walls and it almost seems like what you were seeing through that window is now just a static still image, it isn't real at all. It's like the room you're in doesn't exist anymore. The cracks that are forming inside this room, they're making it feel like like a painting on dried mud, and black smoke is streaming into the room now through those large cracks in the door.

Wes (Jeremiah): So what if I go hack at the window now, since it seems like a bad idea to keep hacking at the door?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, you walk over and take a big swing at this window and it opens up wide. You've created a giant crack in the wall and you see not only those living effigies, but alongside them are shrieking sculptures of snake-headed demons and tentacle beasts, and they're squatting on pedestals that are covered in hieroglyphics. What is this place? And you recognize one of the statues from those stories of the black goat in the woods, maybe even from that mural you saw in the cave. You called it Goat Man, I believe. Through the many sculptures and effigies, you see a rotunda building that's height stretched upward through the heavens, and its basins and pillars are formed by these dreadful carvings. These are like living ruins. And suddenly you hear the door slam against the wall, and it's been thrown open by Joseph, who stands there. He's staring past you, Jeremiah, at the window or where the window was. And he's disfigured; his jaw is hanging off of his face.

Wes (Jeremiah): That's not a metaphor? His jaw is hanging off of his face and he's on fire?

cuppycup (Keeper): No, he's not surprised to see you. His jaw is literally unhinged.

Wes (Jeremiah): OK. It's like hanging off by, like, sinew.

cuppycup (Keeper): Exactly. And he's got smoldering fire all over his body.

Wes (Jeremiah): Alright.

cuppycup (Keeper): At the sight of your brother, Jeremiah, the sound of a gunshot jars you awake. Wes, give me a SANITY check for Jeremiah.

Wes (Jeremiah): Stoked. I got a 15, so I just lose 1 point of SANITY? 

cuppycup (Keeper): No, roll a d4.

Wes (Jeremiah): I got a 4, so that's good, I'm now at 38 SANITY. 

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, that could be better, but I am going to give Jeremiah 1 more point of CTHULHU MYTHOS.

Wes (Jeremiah): Oh, seriously?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. Jeremiah, you're lying on the floor of the Boot Jack Saloon now, and you see Ellie looming above you with her smoking rifle pointed at the ceiling. 

Wes (Jeremiah): I'm reaching for one of the other full whiskeys on the table.

Brandon (Flint): What time is it?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's around 8 o'clock at night, so a little too early to go to bed.

Chuck (Johnny): I think we should definitely visit the haunted house at night. 

Brandon (Flint): Because I was going to suggest go back, get some rest, wake up, so we have the book as well, and go to the haunted house in nice early daylight.

Jay (Lance): Yeah, I think we should just go to the hotel and get some sleep.

Jeremiah: Alright, I reckon I'll finish all this whiskey and go to bed with y'all.

Jay (Lance): Hopefully you have your own bed.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's like the grandparents' bed in Willy Wonka.

Ellie: Let's get out of here. Sorry about the trouble, miss.

Helen: Much obliged, ma'am. And don't worry about the ceiling.

cuppycup (Keeper): So you all head back to the Lacroix Hotel to get a full night's rest. You split up in the lobby to go to your respective rooms, and Father Flint, you're in the suite, of course, the most well-appointed room in the hotel at $5 per night. And you're relaxing in a giant king-sized bed with brass posts, and maybe it's a canopy bed, so it has curtains all around it.

Brandon (Flint): I'm going to use a little bit of that cocaine and break in the new pipe. Sorry, a little bit of the marijuana. I'm breaking in the new pipe.

cuppycup (Keeper): I liked where that was going.

Wes (Jeremiah): Yeah, that would have been fun.

Alex  (Ellie): Yeah! 

Brandon (Flint): I feel like that's a weird thing to do by myself. I think the weed is fine, alone in my penthouse. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Crack is more of a social drug.

Brandon (Flint): You're right. Probably when we go to the house.

cuppycup (Keeper): Father Flint, you take a couple of hits from that purple and white pipe, and this is hitting you a little harder than you might have expected. Your body is sinking into that plush mattress like it's a hot marshmallow. Your cares are melting away and your eyelids are so heavy now, until you're in total darkness. When you open your eyes, Father Flint, you find yourself standing in front of a large congregation. You're standing at a pulpit, but really, you're not just standing there, are you? You're chained to this pulpit. Your movement is very limited as you're looking out on the sea of people lining the pews; this church is packed full for your sermon.

Brandon (Flint): This is a bad trip, huh? I got tricked. 

cuppycup (Keeper): You got hosed by the pharmacist. You're now noticing that behind the congregation, there's no wall there. This is a black and purple sky, with swirling white clouds and a mystical starscape. The view is stunning, but also absurd, and despite the view, you're feeling premonitory dread.

Brandon (Flint): Do I need to start a sermon, or can I do something to wake myself from this nightmare? 

cuppycup (Keeper): That's totally up to you. 

Brandon (Flint): Well, I didn't prepare a sermon, but I wonder what the congregation is waiting to hear from me.

cuppycup (Keeper): At first glance, this looks to be a homogeneous congregation, this mass of people, but they aren't giving you any clues as to what they expect to hear. And as you continue looking around, Father, you note the lack of any Christian symbology in this church. For example, there are stained glass windows, but the windows are colored with symbols you don't recognize.

Brandon (Flint): I guess the follow up question would be, do I recognize anyone in that crowd at all, in that mass? Or is it still just kind of I can't really tell any distinguishing features? 

cuppycup (Keeper): Brandon, give me a SPOT HIDDEN roll to see what Father Flint notices.

Brandon (Flint): 14. Yeah, I'm 25, so.

cuppycup (Keeper): So on the SUCCESS, you're starting to notice some divisions in the audience and there are three sections of pews here, divided by two aisles, and everyone is shrouded in the same white cloth. It's thin, like gauze, but while they're dressed the same, each section is projecting something a little bit different to you, Father. Those seated in the leftmost section, they don't quite look like people at all, when you focus in on them. They seem like husks of human beings with eyes that are staring blankly at you; maybe they remind you of dolls, yet they have this dreadful look of glee on their faces that is entirely unnerving for you, Father Flint. Similarly, the section on your right is filled with these lifeless human mimics, but the faces are worn, they're different. They're shriveled and gray. There's no glee in these faces. This is the look of the abused and the tormented. Their eyes are sunken and hollow. And finally, Father, the section straight ahead of you, in front of the offering table, they look much more alive to you, more human, but they are tired and fearful. They seem restless and their worried eyes are darting back and forth between the other two sections, even though their bodies remain relatively still. And that's as close as you can get, since you are chained to the pulpit. 

Brandon (Flint): Right. Can I test the chains at all? 

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure, you can. Give me a STRENGTH check.

Brandon (Flint): That's a 55. 

cuppycup (Keeper): You just missed. You can wriggle around in the chains a little bit, but you can't really move other than turning your head.

Brandon (Flint): OK, I will strain myself as much as I can to view as much as I could behind me, let me say that.

cuppycup (Keeper): You look as far back as you can over both shoulders to see if you're sharing the stage with anyone or anything, and over your left shoulder, you do see a stone altar. And even though it was dark down there, it looks similar, maybe even identical to the one you saw in the cave system under Baylor Peak.

Brandon (Flint): Mmhmm.

cuppycup (Keeper): And there's a person lying across the top of this altar, draped over it limply. One arm is dangling off the side closest to you.

Brandon (Flint): Can I recognize that person at all?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a SPOT HIDDEN.

Brandon (Flint): 78. 

cuppycup (Keeper): It's really difficult to tell who this is, and as you're looking over your shoulder, Father, you hear the congregation erupt in laughter, and it's a blend of sounds and some of it almost seems demonic, but there's no mistaking that they're laughing at you, Father. This sends you into a dizzied state, and the church seems to be spinning around you now; your extremities are getting hot and you're coming unwound, you'd give everything to just be able to float off into that starscape, if you could. But instead, you come back in that plush bed in the hotel and the pipe is burning your fingers.

Flint: Ow! 

Brandon (Flint): So I extinguish the pipe as fast as I can.

cuppycup (Keeper): Brandon, give me a SANITY check for the father.

Brandon (Flint): 83. 

cuppycup (Keeper): That's a FAIL.

Brandon (Flint): Let's get weird, guys. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a d6 for Flint's SANITY loss.

Brandon (Flint): It's a 1. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh good, you lose just 1 point, then. 

Brandon (Flint): Yeah, I'm going to try to sleep if I can.

cuppycup (Keeper): You do sleep, Father, but it isn't a restful night. Your mind is plagued by dreams of that congregation, the figure you saw on that altar. And you're draped in chains. OK, so everyone in the party ends up in the lobby again this morning, maybe there's a continental breakfast or something drawing you back here, but you've all decided, I think, to check out the Prestwick House.

Alex  (Ellie): Yeah, let's go to the haunted house.

cuppycup (Keeper): You confirm directions with the front desk and you all walk over those train tracks and past the cemetery, toward this circle of trees. The branches on these trees are mostly barren, so you can confirm that these trees encircle a house. It's disturbing to you that all of the trees in your view, seem to be growing away from the house; their trunks are contorted, bending away from the house, no matter which side of the house they're on. This is an isolated house, whoever built it must have been intensely private. And even though there's a lot of daylight, this is a brooding place with overgrown gardens and odd, crooked angles casting strange shadows. The window grids almost look like upside down crosses to you, with the smaller panes being on the bottom. This ramshackle two-story house is sagging from rot, and the front door is wide open, almost as though the house is inviting you inside.

cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!