Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

BLEEKER TRAILS, EPISODE 7: AMBROSIA

cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care.

Conductor: All aboard! Welcome aboard the 1:20 to College Station. Now, I apologize for the mess on the platform. The guard informed me some dandies have been whipping up havoc and it got some poor sod killed. Yep. Eaten by a biblical-sized swarm of rats. Anyhow, this car is empty. So take whatever suits you. Because there ain't many on board for chit chat.

Eli: That will not be a stretch for me.

Pinky: *humming happily* Oh, what a marvelous coincidence!

Eli: Well. Imagine my surprise to see you here.

Pinky: Oh, let me just... *grunting* They have porters to store your things in the luggage compartment. Oh, this will not budge.

Eli: Oh, there is seating everywhere in this train. Plenty of room.

Pinky: Oh, no, no, no. I insist. Un, deux, trois...*grunts with effort* Ah, oui. Voila!

Eli: I had been under the impression, Pinky, that I might be traveling alone.

Pinky: Oh, don't be so sullen. Oh, and I brought treats. Now, how about you help me to unroll this tablecloth? No? Ok, it's fine. I can manage it myself. There we go. Oh, look at that. The stage is set. And now for the main event. Oh, I forgot: Bourguignon! *mutters happily in French* Arcanum, you want to share with me a little...gloo-gloo? *shakes wine bottle*

Eli: Pinky, I do appreciate that, but I do not partake.

Pinky: Oh. Chicken liver pate with figs and berries. *happy sounds* Oh, God. No, mon dieu! Oh, it is like feet. Oh no, it must have burned.

Eli: Oh, I don't know how it would have smelled good.

Pinky: So have you been to France, Arcanum?

Eli: You know, it's on my bucket list.

Pinky: You know, this is quite nice getting to know you properly without the frills and flair. And especially after such an awkward start.

Eli: You...You mean with the snake?

Pinky: Yes. With Lucy.

Eli: Pinky, how long have you known the professor?

Pinky: Well, a little over one year.

Eli: In your estimation, is he a good man?

Pinky: He is a good man to know, I would say.

Eli: Understood. I believe there is a chance that perhaps you and I may get along fairly well after all.

Pinky: I believed that from the moment we met!

"Dead Man Walking" by Cody Fry: (lyrics) I am a dead man walkin'. I see the light comin'. And it feels warm on my face, but I can tell it's gonna burn me down.

cuppycup (Keeper): The screaming just won't stop, as Silas holds the confused guard against the wall with a knife pressed to his neck. Ambrose, their quarry, is slumped over, unconscious in the hall. Julius stands at the bottom of the stairs in the cellblock, watching the twitching lips of the severed head as it rests on his boot. London, I'm going to ask you for a SANITY check for Julius.

London (Julius): FAILURE. 81 over 44.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, you've only lost 1 point of SANITY.

Wes (Silas): Just a casual head.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius will be fine. But I do think an urgency to leave is going to overwhelm him.

London (Julius): Julius would shriek, like *shrieks*, you know, involuntary.

cuppycup (Keeper): There's a dying commotion in the cellblock as most prisoners have fled. Silas and that guard he's been threatening are the ones who take notice.

Guard: Let me go. Let me go!

cuppycup (Keeper): What do you want to do with the guard, Wes?

Wes (Silas): Well, what I wanted to do was cut his fucking head off because he pissed me off. What I will do is manacle him.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. *laughs*

Guard: You cut me!

Silas: I got your fucking keys. You're in your own fucking cuffs and I'll let you fucking go when I damn well please. I learned how to cuss from the prisoner back there.

Julius: Well, I want to just, you know, go down and...alright, I got what I needed. We got to get a move on. Cody's after us.

Silas: Hang on. I'm finding some stuff out. Wait, who the fuck is Cody?

Julius: You're going to find out real soon, Silas.

Guard: I'm bleeding.

Silas: If you shut the fuck up, you can come with us.

Wes (Silas): And I put my knife down and let's get the fuck out of here because there's a Cody coming.

London (Julius): Cody is on the way.

Guard: Cody?! Shit, shit, shit, shit. We got to run. This ain't good.

Julius: Yeah.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius, with Ambrose slung over his back, hustles for the basement door, lumbering through the cellblock. He's standing inside, breathless, waiting for Silas. And walking out of the cell with the shackled guard, Silas, you see a man slick with blood standing at the foot of the stairs. That man, Cody, seems to look through you with a hollow stare.

Cody: Run fast. Run.

Wes (Silas): Shit.

cuppycup (Keeper): Wes, Give me a LUCK roll for Silas.

Wes (Silas): A 77 out of 70.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. It's not clear whether it's you or the guard that he's after, but Cody takes a long stride toward you and peels the cleaver from his belt.

Wes (Silas): No!

Guard: *begging* Cody, please!

cuppycup (Keeper): And then a smile cracks open his blood-caked face. He heaves the heavy butcher's blade up and throws the knife violently toward you. Can you pass a DODGE roll for Silas?

Wes (Silas): Yes, I can!

London (Julius):  Yeah!

cuppycup (Keeper): With a brutal thunk, the knife bites deep into the door as you dive for the stairs, pushing the hapless guard in front of you. 

Guard: *sobbing* Come on, Cody. Don't do it, Cody.

Wes (Silas): Oh, then we just, we go shut and lock it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, ok.

London (Julius): Oh.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius, can I get an INTELLIGENCE roll to see if you remember which key it was that fits the door?

London (Julius): Yes, yes, yes!

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. Nice. The door's old lock clunks shut.

Wes (Silas): Can I snap that key off in the damn thing?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, I like that idea. Silas breaks the key off in the lock as Cody wrenches the knife from the door and slams it back down, splintering the wood, the blade stopping only inches from Silas's face.

Guard: *terrified* Oh shit. Lucky.

Silas: Fuck you.

Wes (Silas): And then we go.* laughs* Do we want to go back to the cadets, London?

London (Julius): What would we do with the cadets?

Wes (Silas): I don't know.

London (Julius): Well, maybe we could... Yeah, we could ask about the shit that's going on.

Wes (Silas): Like, gesture broadly to everything we bring them.

London (Julius): Yeah, exactly. Exactly. The rats and stuff. And then, like, do you all know Cody? Or maybe not that, but...

Wes (Silas): "Yo, there's some fucked up shit going on down there." *laughs*

London (Julius): Yep. Yep, yep, yep. I mean, it's worth a try if you want to. That's a place to stop. It's on the way out.

cuppycup (Keeper): You know how to get to the cadets' little ritual site, and you can probably find your way back to the mess hall or Cody's closet. And as you begin heading deeper into the tunnel, you hear breaking wood behind you.

London (Julius): No! 

Guard: Oh shit. Shit. Fuck!

Cody: Oh, don't worry. One by one, your fingers will drop off. We can count them together.

Guard: *begs* Please. Come on, fellas. I want to keep my fingers. Can I just go? I'm just slowing you down. I saw nothing. Honest. It's a blur. I don't know no one. I've got a family.

Julius: We've got business to attend to here. We're making our way out.

Guard: So you'll let me go? You're letting me go, right? Come on, please.

Cody: *mutters*

Guard: Is that Cody? Shit. It's been a while since I've been down here, but, I know these tunnels a little bit. Now, now, I'm not going to say nothing about no breakout. I'll tell them I got knocked out. I came to and Cody was prowling the block and I got chased down here. Who won't believe that psycho is to blame for all this? Honest. You won't get any heat for it.

Julius: Silas, what do you say?

Silas: Yeah. Let's go.

London (Julius): We'll get to leaving.

Guard: Yeah, can I get one of them lanterns?

Julius: Sure, but try anything and we'll take you out.

Guard: Yeah, I got that part. Keep moving now. Cody's still coming. Follow me close.

Cody: Oh, that's... I can feel you down here.

Guard:  Quickly!

cuppycup (Keeper): The guard checks a few corridors ahead and seems to get his bearings. Then he weaves you through the pipe-riddled labyrinth to a section you don't recognize at all.

Guard: Hmm. Not much further. This is pretty familiar.

cuppycup (Keeper): He jogs ahead a bit and gestures with his shackled hands to follow. There is a staircase.

Cody: The pipes, they talk to me. Now, I can teach you. Have a listen.

Guard: Come on, now. Shit. Shit. I lost my keys.

Silas: Here you go.

cuppycup (Keeper): He gives you a side-eye.

Silas: But I want them back when you unlock this door.

Guard: *panicked* It's almost there, just got to find it. Oh, shit. Where are you?

Julius: Oh. Oh...

cuppycup (Keeper): He fumbles around for quite a while, since he's handcuffed, but he does find the key and turns the lock.

London (Julius): Oh, ok.

Cody: I see you.

cuppycup (Keeper): This is another basement area filled with tools. You see empty meat hooks, knives, stacked aprons and polished slabs.

London (Julius): Yikes.

Silas: I don't like this room.

Julius: Yeah. What is this?

Guard: Uh...Meat sciences.

Silas: That makes sense. This is an Ag school.

Guard: Yeah. Texas Agricultural and Meat. Let's go!

Silas: It's mechanical, but whatever.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* "Meat."

Julius: Keep going. Keep going.

cuppycup (Keeper): He guides you up another short staircase to an unlocked door.

London (Julius): Ooh.

cuppycup (Keeper): The three of you step into a classroom. And of course, Julius is carrying Ambrose, covered in blood. The sun is harsh on your eyes, so it takes you a moment to adjust. Based on the chalkboard diagram, you've interrupted a lecture on the various cuts of beef. A handful of cadets sit at their desks staring at you.

London (Julius): Oh.

cuppycup (Keeper): And the professor drops his pointer.

Julius: Don't mind us. Just got a little lost.

Silas: *teen voice* Yeah. We're just, uh...we're just sneaking through here. Don't worry about us.

cuppycup (Keeper): The professor scrunches his face nervously beneath his spectacles.

Professor: I'm sorry. What is the meaning of this?

Silas: *teen voice* What's the meaning of anything at all, sir? Who's to say?

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* This again?

Julius: Haven't you read Nietzsche?

Guard: It's okay, Prof. This is official jail business. We're conducting emergency training and it will not happen again.

Professor: No, no, no, no, no. My department head is going to hear about this now. Go! Get out.

cuppycup (Keeper): You quickly leave the classroom and find yourselves in the echoing halls of an academic building. The few students that pass stop to gawk with disbelief as you carry Ambrose out.

Julius: We're just working, working our way through to the infirmary. We're just headed to the infirmary. He had a little too much to drink.

Silas: *teen voice* This man's very ill.

Julius: Yeah, ill.

cuppycup (Keeper): And the guard stops when you reach a quiet nook.

Guard: Are we done, then? I did what I said I would. Shit, Cody.

Julius: Alright, alright.

Guard: I think this is the part where you uncuff me quick and I forget I ever saw you.

Julius: Yes. This is that part where you forget our faces.

Silas: Sounds good to me.

Julius: Thank you for leading us out.

cuppycup (Keeper): He rubs his wrists and gives you a look of worry. Then quicker than you imagined, he rabbits out into the stark sunlight of the morning.

Wes (Silas): Ok.

Guard: *screaming* Help me! I was kidnapped!

Wes (Silas): We can't do anything about that now.

London (Julius): I would like to return to Hackett just to drop off Ambrose and drop off the files that I have.

cuppycup (Keeper): Stumbling out into the blinding sun, you find yourselves amidst the hubbub of the main roads. A few concerned men with guns seem to be running toward the jailhouse, but otherwise it seems calm for now. Slipping into the shadows of the back alleys, you manage to find your way into Hackett's garden. Ambrose is still unconscious, tucked under Julius's arm. She bursts out the kitchen door to meet you.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, this is unexpected. I'm sure that we were to meet at the opium den. Julius. I haven't made enough tea for everyone. This is a disaster. Is that supposed to be Ambrose you're carrying?

Julius: Yes.

Dr. Hackett: I barely recognize him. Oh gosh, he's moved! He's alive. Stupendous.

Julius: Yes, he's alive. He just got a little tired. He was beat. He fell right asleep on the way over here.

Silas: You could say he was beat.

Dr. Hackett: Huh? Who is this adorable little fellow? A friend, maybe? But he is short next to you, Julius. What is your name, short man. But, no, wait. Don't say a word. We are incognito. I'd quite forgotten. Now let's see to Ambrose. Ha! These experiments have been quite brutal. God only knows what was done. I'm sure of it.

Julius: And these files as well. I was able to procure these.

cuppycup (Keeper): What are you giving her exactly?

London (Julius): Everything but the thing about the poisoning.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, good. She eagerly takes both of those files and gives them a once over with a slight smile.

Dr. Hackett: Yes, you've done quite well. Please help me get Ambrose to the porch. We don't want to let him fester in the sun, now, do we? And I have the money I promised you, Julius.

Julius: Ok. Alright.

London (Julius): And I just kind of lift him, kind of drop him at the door.

cuppycup (Keeper): She runs inside the house and quickly returns with $10.

London (Julius): Ooh!

Dr. Hackett: Well, Julius, I'll be sure to thank Professor Bleeker in person next time I see him. Do send my regards in the meantime. Gentlemen, would you like a refreshing tea before you go? I can whip up a brew of my new blend lickety split. The aroma is simply euphoric, like fresh cut grass with high notes of vanilla.

Julius: No tea for me. We're actually, we're actually... We're good, Silas. We're good.

Silas: Yeah, we're good.

Dr. Hackett: Hmm. Well. Suit yourselves. But you are missing out on a delightful mouth sensation. Right then, to work. Ambrose, what are we going to do with you?

Julius: Well, I hope he makes a fast recovery. He was troubled. He was making some strange drawings and such back there. Spiders.

Silas: And he was eating himself.

Julius: That too.

Dr. Hackett: Such a pity. The human mind is such a fragile instrument.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a SPOT HIDDEN for Julius. You've been carrying Ambrose for a while, and now you've crumpled him on the porch in the daylight.

London (Julius): SPOT HIDDEN...SUCCESS. 17 versus 25.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius is going to notice bolts on the back of Ambrose's head, barely sticking out at the base of his skull. You may have felt these in the dark of the steam tunnels, but now you're seeing them clearly. These are sloppy inserts, surrounded by likely infected wounds.

London (Julius): Is this some sort of torture thing that I would know about or is this an I don't know?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me an EDUCATION roll.

London (Julius): Nothing. FAILURE. 86 versus 45.

cuppycup (Keeper): You don't know anything about them, but you'd probably need surgery to get them out.

London (Julius): Ok. I'm a little freaked out by this.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, how freaked out?

London (Julius): Not sanity freaked out, but freaked out in the way that I'm even more cautious around Hackett in this case because of that.

cuppycup (Keeper): And I'm going to make a roll. Oh my God!

Wes (Silas): Fuck you! CRIT FAIL!

London (Julius): Oof.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* I rolled 100. Ok. Holy shit. What can I do for that? Because I was doing something so simple. You'll see Hackett notices you looking at the bolts. She throws her body over Ambrose to cover them up.

Julius: What are you hiding? Did you do this to this boy?

Dr. Hackett: I don't understand it fully. We have so much to learn from these experiments. Do you want to help us or not?

Julius: Not in particular.

Dr. Hackett: The boss will know what to do.

Julius: Yes. I work for Bleeker.

Dr. Hackett: Yes, you told me before. Are you feeling like yourself, Julius?

Silas: I work for Bleeker, too.

Dr. Hackett: I assumed. So it was smart to bring on another man.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ambrose is now seizing up on the porch and Hackett is aggressively petting the top of his head.

Ambrose: *moans*

Dr. Hackett: Hush now.

Ambrose: *keeps moaning*

Dr. Hackett: I've noticed you're lingering. Have you changed your mind on the tea?

Wes (Silas): No. We're going to get the fuck out of here.

London (Julius): I really can't wait to run what I found out about her by Bleeker once I get back. But yeah, we'll start to leave. As we're leaving, I also, I'll talk to Silas.

Julius: 5 of this is for you.

Silas: Are you sure?

Julius: Couldn't have made it through back there without you. Come along. We got to talk about Kierkegaard on the way.

Silas: That sounds good to me.

Dr. Hackett: Do come back again. But if you do, we never met. Ha, ha. Now go. I must mother this boy.

London (Julius): We're heading back to Junction. And Silas, are you joining me there?

Wes (Silas): I said I would join you. I'm going with you. Whatever you need.

Julius: Do you want to stop back at that opium den, Silas.

Silas: I don't not want to go back to the opium den. I'll put it that way.

Julius: Well, before we head out, you know, I don't want to just leave you hanging.

Silas: Well, I was having a nice time at the opium den before I got involved with you. I think the opium den does dull the pain of existence. You want to...you want to go to the opium den and then catch the train? Is that a thing that's okay with you?

Julius: Yeah. Let's swing on by.

Silas: Why don't we?

cuppycup (Keeper): Alright, so you two know the way back to the opium den?

Wes (Silas): Yeah. Let's go.

London (Julius): I would still like to use the shadows.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, I think we've had enough action.

cuppycup (Keeper): You do notice uniformed men knocking on doors. There aren't too many out, but there is a growing presence around town. These look like local police.

Wes (Silas): Am I very obviously covered in blood?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yes. Your clothing is a little bloody, but not as bad as Julius.

Wes (Silas): Awesome. That's great. Ok.

London (Julius): Yeah. We got to stay out of sight as best as we can.

Wes (Silas): Is the blood still wet?

London (Julius): Wet?

Wes (Silas): I just... I was wondering if, like, I rolled around in dirt, if that would do a good job of, like, adhering to the blood and maybe cover up the fact that, like... I would look more dirty than slaughtering.

cuppycup (Keeper): Let's say yes. I wouldn't mind seeing you do that.

Wes (Silas): Is this something I learned in the Pinkertons? And then I get down and roll around in the dirt and then stand up and go "see."

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* Is Julius impressed by that tactic? 

London (Julius): Yeah. When in Rome! Julius isn't necessarily rolling around. He's just sort of just going down and just picking up, you know, pieces of mud and just putting it on and...

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok.

London (Julius):  I'm not stooping *that* low, but let's do it.

Wes (Silas): That's fair. You do it your way.

cuppycup (Keeper): Y'all are now bloody and dirty. And from a distance, this might look more presentable, like you were breaking horses or something. Silas, as you near the opium den, you recognize one of the customers passed out in the weeds alongside the building.

Silas: You see that? That's where it's at right there. That's what you want.

cuppycup (Keeper): There's a service door in the back and then, of course, the main entrance.

Silas: Why don't we go in through the back here? I don't know if they'll even notice that I left. Maybe my spot's still open.

Julius: Hmm. You don't think that'll draw any extra attention? Going through the back?

Silas: I don't think that there's much attention going around in this place.

Julius: Alright. You seem to have a booth. We'll take that.

cuppycup (Keeper): That door is locked.

Silas: Fuck. I guess we're going around the front.

Julius: And if anybody asks, we were at the rodeo.

Silas: That's right. We were at the rodeo.

cuppycup (Keeper): Silas walks into the familiar atmosphere and sweet smells of the den. To Julius, this is cloying smoke lingering in stale air. The attendants are dutifully walking around, checking on customers who are mostly checked out of the waking world. The workers occasionally speak to the old man at the back of the room who sits with his eyes closed. Since you last saw him, it looks like he hasn't budged.

Attendant: Welcome back, Mr. Silas. Your usual spot, I presume?

Silas: Yes, please. This is my friend Julius. We've been at the rodeo.

Julius: Shh, if anyone asks!

Silas: Just saying.

Attendant: That's lovely, sir, but I don't really care what you boys might be getting up to. Please follow me and I'll get you seated.

Julius: Yes.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're escorted to a small table, flanked by large cushions.

Silas: So what you're going to want to do is just grab a seat and we're going to get ourselves a nice pipe, maybe a tea, have ourselves a real nice little afternoon.

Julius: Alright. We deserve it, you know, after everything we went through.

Silas: Yes, we have earned this dissociation. This is a thing that we're going to do.

cuppycup (Keeper): I have to know: is Julius going to smoke opium with Silas?

London (Julius): I don't think...I don't think he's ever smoked opium, though.

Wes (Silas): You have just seen some shit, though.

London (Julius): You know, I might need it after all.

Silas: Don't feel any pressure. You don't have to smoke it. You could...you could have a tea, if that's a more suitable means for you. I noticed your aversion to tea back there.

Julius: Well, actually, I will order a tea. I am parched. But I'll explain a little bit about that. I saw some files, and apparently the doctor has been mixed up in some sort of poisoning thing. I didn't want to risk it. I didn't want to risk my life or risk yours.

Silas: Well, thank you for that. I didn't, I didn't want to die.

Julius: I don't want you to die, either. And I, in fact, love tea. It's the perfect complement to a good book, so I think I will order a tea. You enjoy your, your, your treat. And then we'll be on our way to the train station.

Wes (Silas): Alright, so I'm going to flag down our guy.

cuppycup (Keeper): He's already on his way to the table with your pipe, Silas, and a tea for Julius. Like he's been eavesdropping.

Silas: You are good. You are really, really good. Thank you so much.

Attendant: You are most welcome, Silas.

Wes (Silas): Silas is going to light that pipe and just take the longest drag in the history of drags. Like, just going to hold. Just...

Silas:  You see, Julius, what you don't understand is sometimes you just got to do something to take the edge off.

Wes (Silas): And then Silas just slumps down.

Julius: Silas, I agree. Sometimes you need something to take that edge off.

London (Julius): He brings the teacup to his lips.

Julius: *gasps* Smooth!

cuppycup (Keeper):  *laughs* Oh my God. I am going to ask Wes for a CONSTITUTION roll.

Wes (Silas): Of course. Yeah, sure. You got it. See? Let's see if I can die. Well, I FAILED.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius, you see Silas's head hit the table. Now let's check on Eli and Pinky's arrival to College Station.

Conductor: If this is your stop, why are you still sitting down? Come on, now.

cuppycup (Keeper): All that can be seen is the shifting form of people on the platform, as annoyed voices start to get more heated. Some occurrence or other is happening outside.

Chuck (Eli): There's fucking always something going on a train station in this show. So Eli grabs his one bag or his one case. He'll make his way off of the train.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pinky neatly folds his tablecloth, and he's following behind you. As Eli steps onto the platform, you'll see that the crowd is partitioned. They're corralling passengers waiting to leave into a separate area. A lean, wiry man is holding up the passengers. They nod along to his inquiries as he crushes a cigarette under his heel and lights another.

Marshal: One of our guards has been taken hostage.

Chuck (Eli): Does he have a badge or some sort of insignia?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's going to be fairly obvious to Eli that he's a marshal. He's dressed in a long blue coat with a badge on his breast, and he wears a pistol on the hip.

Chuck (Eli): Ok. And he's saying what to them?

cuppycup (Keeper): You are close enough to hear most of the exchange. He's handing out a description of particular people and asking whether they've been seen. There seems to be a lot of them.

Marshal: These men are armed and dangerous.

Townsperson 1: Kind of your height? 

Marshal: See, now, I don't think you fully understand. He's larger than me. A giant.

Townsperson 1: And what about the other one?

Marshal: Short with shifty eyes that are too close together. You wouldn't trust him.

Townsperson 1: Yeah, I reckon so.

Marshal: Well, it seems to me have been a gang of them. You say your horse is missing, right?

Townsperson 1: Yeah, just couldn't find her this morning.

Chuck (Eli): Is anyone in the crowd responding that they have seen these people so far?

cuppycup (Keeper): No. They're anxious to board the train. The marshal is roughing up some of the men.

Townsperson 2: *whining* No, I don't know anything!

Marshal: I mean, I know you've seen somebody. You tell me, and you won't get hurt.

Townsperson 2: I swear I didn't see nobody like that!

Marshal:  There's a bounty in all these men. Collect. Get your reward, son.

Chuck (Eli): At the sound of reward, Eli is going to go,

Eli: Marshal?

Pinky: Eli? No! What are you doing? 

Marshal: Yeah? What is it?

Eli: It sounds like you may be looking for some people. Might I get the description? Perhaps I've seen them.

Marshal: You're a waste of time. I reckon you're just coming in. And this happened while you was on the train.

Eli: I am, but I travel about quite a bit.

Marshal: But I'll say this. Keep an eye out for a hulk of a man, strongest you'll ever lay eyes on. Or so they say.

Eli: Well, it sounds like you have quite a hullabaloo going on in this town.

Marshal: If you see someone like that, I suggest you run and you find me or my men. We'll have this town crawling with Rangers before supper.

Eli: You have my word that I will keep my eyes peeled for these despicable criminals. Do you have any idea where they may have been seen last?

Marshal: They escaped the jail through the steam tunnels beneath campus.

Eli: *amused* Yes, the steam tunnels.

Marshal: Now, listen, if you see them, it's important that we get them all. We'll give you $20 a head if anything, you give us leads to their capture. But please leave this to the professionals. These men are dangerous criminals.

Eli: You have my word.

Marshal: Right. Well, we're holding up the train.

Eli: I understand. I won't keep you.

Marshal: Your name was?

Eli: My name is Eli.

Pinky: And I am Charles Eugene Swann, the third, at your service.

Eli: And this is Pinky.

Pinky: Eli!!

Marshal: Alright, I see. Go on. Yeah, but please, this is not a joke.

Chuck (Eli): So we're going to wander off away from that scene.

Pinky: One of those men he described is Julius!

Eli: Yeah. Thanks for that, Pinky. I do appreciate your astute observations.

Pinky: The Marshal said it is dangerous here. So perhaps we should split up and I could stay here with all people. Julius could turn up here and I will intervene before the marshals.

Eli: You go ahead and stay here and keep an eye out.

Chuck (Eli): Eli knows that, or at least feels that, he always works better alone. But he has gotten...well, I don't know. Weirdly attached to Pinky, I guess. 

Pinky: I'm confident that you'll make quick work of this alone. I do recommend visiting Julius's contact, Dr. Hackett. She will surely know the plan. You'll find her on Beech Street. I'm sure I drew you a map on the train.

Eli: I'm going to make my way towards this Beech street and this jail. Where is the jail? In case I want to question some prisoners myself.

Pinky: So. Yeah, of course I will circle that for you on the map. I imagine it will be swarming with police, so perhaps that can be your last resort. Regardless, you need to pass Beech Street. Leave your trunk with me in case you need to run. But, you know, I'm sure you'll be fine. Ok, au revoir!

cuppycup (Keeper): As Eli walks the otherwise quiet streets of a campus on summer break, he does see uniformed men knocking on doors and questioning the locals. None of them stop you during your short walk to the professor's home. But you pull out the map. You're trying to match it up with this address on a house blanketed in vines, and you first hear and then see a woman. She's trying to load something into a wooden cart. She's hunched over, working with great difficulty.

Dr. Hackett: Oh ho ho. Ambrose, you've barely eaten. How can you be so heavy?

Chuck (Eli): Ok. I'm going to walk up.

Eli: Excuse me, miss.

Dr. Hackett: Are you cold? Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you coming. You are a stealthy devil, aren't you?

cuppycup (Keeper): And she steps out in front of the wagon, obscuring whatever it is she's loading.

Dr. Hackett: Hmm. And who might you be? I didn't ask for more surprises. I think everyone would agree.

Eli: My name is Eli.

Chuck (Eli): And I sort of doff my hat, you know?

Dr. Hackett: Well, aren't we charming? But I must inquire about your intentions, young man. It is unbecoming to charge into someone's garden. I could be doing anything. Not that I am.

Eli: I'm looking for a friend.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, well, you're a long way from the chicken ranch, I'm afraid.

Chuck (Eli): Sorry. I'm going to have to stop and laugh, everyone.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Yeah.

Eli: I'm a bit new to town. And I believe he is as well.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, I see. Who is this friend? Do you know Peter or Tabitha? Oh, perhaps it is Johnny. He's so mysterious.

Eli: Oh, he's a, he's a large fellow. I understand that he's hard to miss.

Dr. Hackett: Is his name Julius? Are you with Professor Bleeker's band of merry misfits?

Eli: I am. May I ask your name?

Dr. Hackett: Oh, gosh, of course. I'm Jane. Jane Hackett.

Eli: A pleasure to meet you, Jane.

Dr. Hackett: You've caught me at a miserable time, I'm afraid. My son Ambrose is badly injured.

cuppycup (Keeper): Then you'll notice that the thing crumpled behind the cart is a bloodied man.

Eli: Can I assist you in getting him to help?

Dr. Hackett: If you are with the professor, I think that is most prudent, assuming that you keep that pouty mouth of your shot. Ha ha ha. Now watch his head. He's rather hurt. Easy does it.

Eli: As a lamb.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you approach the man, you see he's barely conscious. Most importantly, he's going to be dead weight loading him into the cart.

Chuck (Eli): Yeah. And I will attempt to do that as gently as possible.

Dr. Hackett: I will take his arms if you grab his legs. One. A two, a three. Oopsie, daisy. *gasps with exertion* Thank you for that. You're stronger than you look. Help me push the cart and I'll tell you where to find Julius.

Chuck (Eli): Oh, so there's no horse with this cart.

cuppycup (Keeper): No. It's a handcart, like an oversized wheelbarrow.

Chuck (Eli): Awesome. Yeah. So we'll go ahead and do that.

cuppycup (Keeper): Dr. Hackett is guiding you in this cart through the backyards of houses and then shadowy alleyways as you near campus. You narrowly miss running into the officers who are canvasing town.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, well, that was exciting for everyone. I hope we don't need to worry now.

Eli: Where exactly is it that we are going? A hospital, I assume?

Dr. Hackett: No, we are going to where he will receive the attention he deserves.

Chuck (Eli): I think I understand.

Dr. Hackett: I hoped you would.

Eli: Well, by all means, lead the way.

cuppycup (Keeper): She directs you to the side of a rickety building with a large oak tree growing out front. There's a smoking chimney despite the scorching Texas sun. A man is slouched against the wall who might remind you of the hobos in Junction.

Chuck (Eli): Dressed like a hobo?

cuppycup (Keeper): No, he's in finer clothing. Maybe a student in his early twenties.

Chuck (Eli): Ok I'm just going to look at him and say,

Eli: How are we doing, my good man?

cuppycup (Keeper): He seems drunk or high, or maybe both.

Chuck (Eli): Yeah. Ok. So he lives in my apartment in college, is what you're saying.

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* Yeah.

Eli: We'll talk later.

Dr. Hackett: Eli, I have reason to believe Julius may be inside. See if you can take him back to Bleeker before he accuses me of keeping him for myself. I'll warn you, he is traveling with a tiny man. A bit of a creep.

cuppycup (Keeper): Hackett starts rapping on the side door.

Chuck (Eli): And so I'm, I guess, waiting also for the door.

cuppycup (Keeper): A smallish man, probably five foot on the nose, eventually opens up.

Doorman: Very good, doctor. Very good.

cuppycup (Keeper): And he signals somebody else over to start dragging this guy out of the wooden cart by the feet and into the building.

Dr. Hackett: Do mind his head. *body hits the ground* And that is the floor.

cuppycup (Keeper): Hackett parks the wagon around the back corner of the building and scans the surrounding area.

Eli: Do you need any further assistance?

Dr. Hackett: Eli? Are you sure you want to come in? This might be a lot for you.

Eli: Jane, I have literally no idea what you're talking about. Is Julius in there?

Dr. Hackett: Hmm. Who's Julius? Oh, right. Yes, yes. Come in. But I make no promises.

Chuck (Eli): Alright. Eli's just going in.

Dr. Hackett: It's an opium den, not a hospital. I should have mentioned that. Well, Eli, your assistance was wonderful, though. You are scrawny and there isn't much bosom. You could be a mother yourself one day. I'm quite certain you are welcome to stay. There is enough for everyone. But if you don't intend to linger here, you must leave now. Soon the choice won't be yours to make.

Chuck (Eli): And at that point, Eli's like,

Eli: Oh, that's fine.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, Benjamin. Hello.

Chuck (Eli): And Eli is going to scan the room looking for a large gentleman.

cuppycup (Keeper): You immediately spot Julius.

Chuck (Eli): I would assume so.

cuppycup (Keeper): Hackett notices Julius at that very moment and slinks behind a pillar.

Chuck (Eli): Ok. And I will completely ignore that behavior.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok.

Chuck (Eli): And walk straight over to their booth and and then to Julius. He's going to say,

Eli: May I join you two gentlemen?

Julius: Erm. We were just at the rodeo.

Eli: It would appear that you lost.

Julius: Please take a seat.

Chuck (Eli): And I'm going to take a barely interested look at Silas. And I'm going to look at Julius and say,

Eli: Am I safe in assuming that you are also in the employ of a Professor Bleeker?

Julius: That depends. Are you after Professor Bleeker?

Eli: No, I am, I'm working for him. I've been sent to find you.

Julius: Oh, well, it is I, Julius. Well, what's your name?

Eli: I am Eli. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Chuck (Eli): And he looks at Silas and he says,

Eli: And you as well?

Julius: Yeah, this is, this is Silas. He's not in Bleeker's employ quite yet.

Eli: Tou don't say.

Julius: Well, here's the thing. Silas is a man of many faces. He has a lot to offer in the medicine show.

Eli: Yes, he's very impressive. I've been, I suppose, charged with coming to find you and return you to Junction or assist you. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not fully clear on what it is I'm doing here. What I can tell you is that I am apparently not the only person in town looking for you.

Julius: Do you mean in Junction? Looking for me?

Eli: No. Here in College Station. Your description certainly has come up.

Julius: Ok. Well, looks like we don't have too much time. We've mostly been sticking to the shadows, so if we can do that and get out of here, that might be the smartest thing.

Eli: What exactly is the plan for getting out of here? I don't know if you have one.

Julius: Staying out of sight, taking the back alleyways, the back roads of College Station.

Eli: To where exactly?

Julius: The train station.

Eli: That's going to be a nonstarter there, my friend. Let me just stop you there so that nobody else stops you at the train station.

Julius: Oh? What do you suggest, Eli?

Eli: Well, hell, if I know, I just got here. I have literally been in town for 20 minutes and I found, I found you. So I can't imagine it's going to take everybody else a particularly long time.

Silas: *drowsy* We were at the rodeo.

cuppycup (Keeper): There is some activity happening at the service. Entrance attendants have run over there and they're receiving something, bringing it into the den. The old man signals other workers to light candles on the wall behind him.

London (Julius): It's this just like decoration, or does it look like it's like for something special?

cuppycup (Keeper): You're not sure; this could be their decor. There are small ledges covering the wall behind the old man. Their sequence seems purposeful, though, and when the attendants touched the burning paper to the wicks, each candle flickers to life. Their illumination creates shadows that interplay with one another, forming a pattern.

Old Man: My thanks to you all. Please, everyone, partake in the poppy. This should be a joyous time.

cuppycup (Keeper): The trapped light between the lattice shadows seethes, as if trying to break free. The old man sits at the heart as the last of the candles are lit, and from somewhere behind, bells chime.

Eli: As I said, I am a bit of a new arrival. Are you gentlemen aware of any other way out of town?

Julius: Perhaps we need to find one. Silas has been here longer than I have.

Eli: So the way I see it, we either acquire some horses and make our way out of town, or we find a way to sneak you two onto the train. And I, while I am familiar with some disguises, Julius, I've got to be honest, that seems like a bit of a tall order.

Old Man: Gather now. It seems we have much work ahead of us. This one is almost beyond us. *chanting ominously*

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius, while conversing with Eli, you notice Ambrose. He's quivering as he lies on the silk cushions, with sweat beginning to bead on his skin. Beyond, the old man sits enshrined in the pattern of light and shadows. The long, dark lines shimmer like the plucked strings of a cello. And again, the bells chime. Hackett and another bring forth another pipe gilded in silver and lay it before the old man.

Old Man: *continues chanting* 

Chuck (Eli): Ok.

cuppycup (Keeper): The attendants slowly step in unison to the edges of the cushions, their eyes shut, silent words on their lips, as if in a deep sleep. Hackett stands at the opposite position of the circle to the old man, wiping the drool from his mouth. Silas, if you're looking around, the colors in here seem richer than before, like an oil painting. It's almost like you can see each stroke that creates the fabric of the room. Thin streaks of black mar its beauty, and it starts to bleed together toward the center of the room.

Silas: I guess we're in my world now, aren't we, fucker?

London (Julius): Oh. *groans*

cuppycup (Keeper): The old man takes another long draw on his pipe and exhales to fill the room with a curling, carmine Smoke. The smoke almost seeks out the patrons, enveloping and constricting the room. As it touches the candles, they flare up, casting the old man into a stark silhouette, which holds no form.

Old Man: I can see what holds you from the cradle of rest, child. It will be no longer.

Ambrose: *whimpers* No.

Chuck (Eli): Eli is suddenly no longer at all interested in the plan to get out of town and is very interested in whatever's going on back there.

London (Julius): So, yeah, Julius iss also just going to sort of just like, watch for like another couple of seconds and just figure out kind of what to do in this situation here.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's strange, for sure. The smoke looks like it's physically suppressing Ambrose.

Wes (Silas): *clears throat*

cuppycup (Keeper): Silas, you see more clearly than anyone.

Wes (Silas): I'm high as fuck. I'm just aware.

cuppycup (Keeper): The tang of sweet opium burns at your taste and smell. The smoke moves like seeking fingers they grasp at you and press you down into the cushions. You sink deep as if cocooned in silk. The patterns on the cushions change to mirror your thoughts as you struggle to breathe anything but the cloying, opium-steeped air.

Old Man: Your reverence for the pipe is respectable, young Silas. As are your contributions to the feast. Shall your nightmares pass? We will see each other again.

cuppycup (Keeper): Looking through the thick smoke yo the old man, you can see his silhouette move and change. His limbs lengthen and split as strands of color form between Ambrose and the old man's maw.

Ambrose: *whimpers* Please. Please forgive me. Please. Please, please forgive me.

cuppycup (Keeper): Released, you gasp in air. Looking back, you see just an old man. Curls of smoke continue pushing in from the perimeter toward Ambrose.

Ambrose: *crying* No, no, no, please.

Chuck (Eli): What is Jane doing?

cuppycup (Keeper): Hackett and a few others are standing again, eyes open and dilated. She watches with a face of concern.

Chuck (Eli): Ok. I mean, I'm still just watching.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok.

Julius: Is this normal?

Silas: This is not normal. We should consider leaving or finding out what this is. And I can't figure out what options is better.

London (Julius): Can I OCCULT check it from my...gaze?

Chuck (Eli): Can *I* OCCULT check it?

Wes (Silas): Fuck yeah.

London (Julius): Julius does a lot of reading, including to the darker thing sometimes.

Chuck (Eli): Oh, look at that. I got a 95. You'll be shocked, Cup.

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* Oh my god. Ok. So you both failed. This seems to be some sort of ritual, but it's unfamiliar.

Julius: Interesting. Are we interfering with this or are we getting out of here? This looks like it's about to be trouble. Deeper trouble than what you say I'm already in.

Eli: If it's all the same with you gentlemen, I believe I'll see what's going on here.

Silas: This is different than anything I've ever seen here. And his curiosity has made me curious. So I think I'm in. I'm vibin' real hard.

Julius: Well, I'm with you, gentlemen.

cuppycup (Keeper): The form of Ambrose is almost smothered by the smoke, pressing him into the cushions. Painfully, he convulses as it forces its way into his mouth and nose.

Ambrose: *crying* Please forgive me.

cuppycup (Keeper): Thickening red resin leaks from his orifices and his eyes.

Ambrose: I knew this would happen. *screams*

cuppycup (Keeper): Clutching at the silk, he kicks like a drowning man before the breathing smoke weighs on him. He struggles to stand, but the grasping smoke pulls him back to the seat cushions, pushing down. He loses consciousness and the resin seeps into the material around him. Ambrose disappears under the pooling red substance.

Wes (Silas): Damn. That's fucked up, man.

cuppycup (Keeper): May I have SANITY rolls?

London (Julius): Naturally.

Wes (Silas): That's probably about right.

London (Julius): HARD SUCCESS.

Wes (Silas): SUCCESS.

Chuck (Eli): REGULAR SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): You've all PASSED. Take just 1 point of SAN loss. It's unclear to all of you whether Ambrose is asleep, unconscious or dead.

Chuck (Eli): What's Jane looking like?

cuppycup (Keeper): Her full attention is on Ambrose at the moment, but she glances at your table. She looks fascinated. And maybe something else. You could give me a PSYCHOLOGY check.

Chuck (Eli): Oh, wait, I have a little PSYCHOLOGY. But I FAILED, because of course I did.

Wes (Silas): Push the PSYCHOLOGY roll. Fuck it up.

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure.

Chuck (Eli): I can't imagine what that would be in this context. Like I said, although I'm tempted to just walk over to her.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. You could step over some people and get real close.

Chuck (Eli): I am going to walk over to her and I'm going to say,

Eli: Would you say that your son is feeling better?

Dr. Hackett: My son? Oh, yes, of course. Oh, I think he's at peace now. Finally.

Eli: *skeptical* Uh huh. Are these friends of yours?

Dr. Hackett: Listen, Eli, was it?

Eli: It was.

Dr. Hackett: I think we are giving gifts. Are we? Yes, I think we are. You have done well, all of you.

cuppycup (Keeper): The old man extends a closed fist toward Eli.

Chuck (Eli): Yeah. Hell yeah. Let's fucking keep stacking it up. What did I get now?

Old Man: You have performed a great service today, reaching into a place I could not. For this, you and your friends shall be rewarded.

cuppycup (Keeper): He opens his withered hand to reveal a talisman in the shape of a cat. One of its eyes is missing and the other is set with Peridot.

Eli: What exactly do I do with this?

Old Man: That is for you to determine. It might be best if you leave now. We would allow that. I think Silas has me convinced.

Eli: Well, alright, then.

Chuck (Eli): Eli is going to take another glance around and read the room.

Eli: It's been a pleasure. If you'll excuse me, I have a giant and a stoner that I have to get out of town.

Chuck (Eli): And he again will sort of doff his hat and turn to walk out and sort of gesture to the other two that we should leave out the service entrance. If that seems like it's an option that's available to us.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, let's go.

London (Julius): Yeah, yeah, let's do that.

Chuck (Eli): Ok. So we're going to walk outside.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, Julius and Silas, you notice that the old man is watching you.

Wes (Silas): *skeptical* Mmhmm...

cuppycup (Keeper): Well, you sense that he's watching you, but you're seeing solid black pupils.

London (Julius): *worried* Uh...

cuppycup (Keeper): And Silas, despite the impossible distance, you feel his hand on your shoulder.

Wes (Silas): That's...that's fucked up.

London (Julius): Wow. That *is* fucked up.

Old Man: *creepy* Soon.

Chuck (Eli): Well, anyway, we're going to head out.

Dr. Hackett: It has been a pleasure, gentlemen. We must catch up for tea soon.

Eli: So we're going to need to find some horses.

London (Julius): Is there any horses tied up outside of the opium den that perhaps some people rode to the den that we can steal?

Chuck (Eli): It's a good question.

cuppycup (Keeper): It is a good question. So give me a GROUP LUCK roll

Chuck (Eli): Hey, I SUCCEEDED on the thing!

cuppycup (Keeper): Alright, now for Eli, give me a d6.

Chuck (Eli): 5.

cuppycup (Keeper): Wow. There are 3 horses.

Chuck (Eli): Wow. Ok, we're going to need to acquire another horse.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, you're still thinking about the compere? I've already forgotten him.

Wes (Silas): *laughs* Yeah!

Eli: Once again, gentlemen, I've got to ask you, do we care to go get Pinkie or...you know what we could do? We could send a message to him that the situation has resolved itself, and he can just take the train back and have a little picnic.

cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!