Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

BLEEKER TRAILS, EPISODE 5: PIPE DREAM

cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care.

Dr. Diaz: Excuse me. Pardon me. Mind your foot. Cart coming through.

Hobo: Oh, come on. Oh, shit. I just pulled his foot off.

Mr. Friend: Please take it away. I can't stomach seeing him a moment longer. And we don't want anyone overreacting. The victim was...

Moni:  Excuse me. I'm standing right here.

Mr. Friend: Oh, and I am standing hat in hand. I am so sorry for this tragedy. You must be devastated. I understand that you knew him fondly.

Moni: Yeah, I knew him. And I know that he wouldn't go into some filthy water stop unless you told him to do it. Do you even have the authority to make him climb in there. 

Mr. Friend: To muck out a water stop? I should say I do.

Moni: Nobody, no one, absolutely no one who had ever met that man would let Milford anywhere near a job like this. What were you thinking?

Mr. Friend: Well, I did have reservations, but his persistence paid off, I'm afraid. Better we find out now than later that he wasn't suited for the role. He did seem more interested in the grander business prospects.

Moni: Better... Better now than later. Are you even hearing yourself right now? Oh, and speaking of those business prospects, how did those go?

Mr. Friend: Oh, not far, I'm afraid. We were interrupted by this ordeal. Listen, Moni, was it? I'm a lawyer of repute. Maybe there is something we can do to soften your heartache. Recompense. *sound of someone being pushed*

Hobo: Oh, she put him on his ass! Oh, shit. That made my fucking week.

Mr. Friend: Outrageous! How dare you shove me? I know you work for Professor Bleeker. Oh, he will be hearing about this. A grave error on your part. God forbid it's your body the good doctor has to cart off next.

Hobo: Oh fuck. There goes the other foot.

('DEAD MAN WALKING' BY CODY FRY PLAYS)
♪ I AM A DEAD MAN WALKIN' 
♪ I SEE THE LIGHT COMIN' 
♪ AND IT FEELS WARM ON MY FACE
♪ BUT I CAN TELL IT'S GONNA BURN ME DOWN

cuppycup (Keeper): The terror of the morning's commotion has taken its toll. Interested onlookers head back to their drinking after the grim conclusion. Mr. Friend watches Moni cautiously as he directs several hobos to brush down his fine gray suit.

Mr. Friend: I think it's best if we all move on from this.

Bridgett (Moni): She glares at him coldly and then slowly backpedals down to the other side of the platform. She will address this with him later.

Dr. Diaz: We're almost done. Just the death certificate. What shall I put? Tragic accident? Death by incompetence? Rodent attack? Ok... From the looks on your faces, I think that can wait until tomorrow. I'm sure Jeb will sort that out.

Patience: Is there anything I can be doing to help?

Dr. Diaz: Are you the praying sort?

Patience: Not particularly. But is there a priest or something in town?

Dr. Diaz: Of course there's a priest, but I'll handle everything.

cuppycup (Keeper): Since Patience is talking to Dr. Diaz with a clear view of her cart, give me a SPOT HIDDEN from your vantage on the platform.

Rina (Patience): Let's see. SPOT HIDDEN... That is a SUCCESS. 43 under 60.

Hobo: Just lift him. *groans*

cuppycup (Keeper): As the men finish loading Milford, Patience notices a different man's foot sticking out from under a sheet at the back of the long cart.

Rina (Patience): If I see that, does it look like he's moving?

Patience: Hello? Excuse me? You alright? Need any help?

cuppycup (Keeper): The foot isn't moving, but one of the men loading Milford's body responds to your query.

Hobo: We don't need no help but appreciate the offer. It ain't exactly a secret that they don't like having our kind in town.

Rina (Patience): Patience's just kind of shakin their head.

Patience: Might big shame, that.

Hobo: We're all on borrowed time in this shithole.

Dr. Diaz: Oh, now, sir. Watch your language, please. I'm paying you a fair wage for an honest day's work. It's not like there aren't dozens more who could do this work standing right over there. Now, kindly take these bodies over to Turkey Hill and dig a hole.

Hobo: Oh, it's like that, is it? Lady, I don't give a goddamn what you do. Piss on your job. *spits*

Dr. Diaz: I do apologize for our unseemly friends. It's impossible to find reliable help.

Hobo: Who wants to go drinking? Yeah!

Dr. Diaz: This one you're gawking at, they found him alone in his house. Would you like a peek?

Patience: If you don't mind.

cuppycup (Keeper): The foul smell hits you as the doctor pulls back the sheet. The corpse's hair is matted with blood, and it's also caked on to the boards of the wagon.

Patience: Maybe drinking with someone and got a little out of hand?

Dr. Diaz: Yes. I think he was bludgeoned to death, probably by one of his so-called friends. I've been meaning to look into why they all end up in Junction, but it's never a dull day for me. My best medical advice is to steer clear of our drifters if you don't want to ride in the cart.

Patience: I'll be around town if you need me for anything. And I'll keep my ear out, see if I hear anything from any of these people around here who might have known or heard something.

Mr. Friend: Excuse me. Hi. I'm sorry. I was trying to get your attention. They call you Patience, I think? If it's not too much trouble, Patience, please let the doctor finish her work.

Patience: No trouble at all.

Dr. Diaz: Take care now.

cuppycup (Keeper): You know, Patience, before you let Mr. Friend pull you away from the cart, I'll take another SPOT HIDDEN with the body in plain view.

Rina (Patience): With a HARD SUCCESS!

cuppycup (Keeper): You notice something odd beneath the man's fingernails. It's fabric. Just a few fibers. Purple velvet.

Rina (Patience): I'm going to make a note of that.

Patience: Now, that's interestin'.

Rina (Patience): And just sort of make the sign of the cross over him, just kind of a holdover from from my youth.

Mr. Friend: Well?

Patience: I do believe I have discovered a body that is no longer alive over yonder and looks like might be a case of foul play.

Mr. Friend: Uh huh.

Rina (Patience): I'm going to shoot Moni a look and say in a quiet sort of undertone,

Patience: Now, Miz Moni, I don't know if you've been getting the same kind of feeling I've been getting, but it seems like to me these here townsfolks don't got much appreciation for life and the living seem more put out by death than saddened or horrified. Don't rightly sit well with me.

Bridgett (Moni): She nods in agreement and motions over to Mr. Friend.

Moni: People appreciate life most when you're choking it out of them.

Chuck (Eli): Eli has no idea what's going on here, who these people are.

Bridgett (Moni): Oh, yeah? Well, you've missed some things.

Brandon (Chester): Yeah, and Chester is still a little discombobulated, a little confused. Also, he doesn't want to run into Jimmy at this point. 

Dr. Diaz: Alright, who wants to work?

cuppycup (Keeper): Before we figure out what's next for this group, let's check on Julius, who was arriving to College Station by train. You step on to the deserted platform in the late evening with only the hissing steam of the engine, interrupting dead silence in spurts and starts. You turn as you hear a porter struggling behind you as he lugs your baggage off the train. He glances at you with concern, then to the train's dusty, yellowing wood, which is streaked with clean lines from those liquor bottles thrown by the vengeful mob.

Porter: Say, I don't mean to intrude or nothing, but you should probably have that looked at, big fella.

cuppycup (Keeper): He's pointing to your injured leg, which is actively bleeding.

Porter: The are maps there in that receptacle, show you where the hospital is if you want to get that patched up. I think I got a mint here in my pocket. Let's see. Oh yeah. Welcome to College Station.

Julius: Well, I appreciate that. Thank you.

cuppycup (Keeper): He'll grab one of those maps himself and point out the hospital, which is actually labeled veterinary science. It's next to some stables on the map right here.

Porter: I think they keep a night shift.

London (Julius): And Julius just kind of mumbles to himself, "I am, in fact, not a horse" as he just kind of puts that away.

Porter: Well, good luck getting that patched up and have a good rest of the evening. Thank you, and gig 'em.

cuppycup (Keeper): There's signage all around you for Texas Agricultural and Mechanical College, Texas A&MC. And I'm not sure if Julius has ever been to this part of Texas.

London (Julius): He's not been here before.

cuppycup (Keeper): You put that map away, you can make note of the address Bleeker gave you for Professor Hackett over on Beach Street. It looks like a six block walk from the railroad station.

London (Julius): Yeah. I'll stop by the vet first, just cause the leg is probably paining him.

cuppycup (Keeper): You can limp your way to a two-storey brick building with a veterinary science across the facade in large maroon lettering. The interior looks dark, but there's light coming from the annex. A young man comes rushing out the door as you approach.

Kevin: Um, wow. You're a big fella. *mutters* You've got this, Kevin. *normal voice* I am here to assist you with your horse. It's your horse, right? Dog guy's not in until morning and dogs hate me. Please don't be another dog.

Julius: Yes. Could you please stop the bleeding? I know I'm not a, you know, I'm not a dog or anything, but I feel like this might be in your wheelhouse.

Kevin: Oh, sorry. I didn't see that in the dark. Shit. That's a gusher you got there, mister. Well, bodies all kind of work the same way, right?

Julius: Hmm. *skeptical*

Kevin: Well, come inside. I'll get some ointment and wrap that thigh. I hope we have enough gauze.

London (Julius): Am I in and out?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. You don't need to linger here. Let's just see if this does any good. Inside, there's another teenager assisting with the wrap.

London (Julius): I'll get the bandage and like, leave. But as they're, like, fixing me up,

Julius: Are you students here? You seem a little young.

Kevin: Well, I'm a pisshead.

Julius: You are...what? Who did what now?

Kevin: Sorry. It's what they call us sophomores. You must be new. And Barry here is a fish.

Barry: Howdy. Smiley day to you!

Kevin: I guess you could say I'm teaching him to swim.

Julius: Alright. Fish that can swim... Well, ok. Well, I'll take it.

Kevin: Look, we don't normally do people. Barry, you better not breathe a word of this to Professor Francis. He keeps threatening to castrate me if I don't follow guidelines.

Barry: Well, fish don't talk.

cuppycup (Keeper): I'm going to ask you for a LUCK roll for Julius, since these are young vet students.

London (Julius): 44 versus 60. SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're going to get all 3 of those HIT POINTS back from the fight at the train platform.

London (Julius): Great. Awesome.

cuppycup (Keeper): They've staunched the bleeding and it's getting really late now. It's up to you whether you'd like to find a place to turn in for the night.

Kevin: Anything else, mister? We've seen to your haunch. Gosh, your leg.

Julius: Yeah. I'm looking for this address on a Beech street. Is that... That's not on campus though is it?

Barry: Fish like Beach Street. *laughs inanely* Get it?

Kevin: It's like Beechwood. Shut the fuck up, Barry. I apologize for him. Let me show you. You can go check it out, see if anyone's awake. But it is close to midnight.

Julius: Oh, my. I'll be heading that way.

cuppycup (Keeper): Eventually you turn on to a dusty lane and hear nothing but the rustling trees. You see the small house at the address Bleeker gave you. You think. It's all a bit confusing in the darkness. The house's white paint is obscured by vines crawling over the front and hanging baskets swaying from the eaves. So at least this has the markers of a botanist or someone who's at least interested in plants. If you're stepping into the yard, you'll make out a long garden that snakes around the back of the house. You can squint to see little signs all around the garden reading "Do Not Touch" in a friendly handwriting.

London (Julius): Julius does not touch. He even kind of stiffens up even more and just kind of walks past these things, making sure not to disturb any of the foliage. But he would like to approach the house, though.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you get closer, you confirm there's no light inside. At first it seems like whoever lives here is probably sleeping or away from home. But then, faintly, you hear the sound of a woman humming in the backyard. *humming sounds*

London (Julius): He's going to follow the garden, go around the house.

Julius: Professor?

Dr. Hackett:  Oh!

Bert: You've startled a woman who's kneeling down. She's digging in the garden and near darkness by the low light of a lantern. She staggers to her feet in these work clothes, filthy overalls, and holds the lantern out toward you.

Dr. Hackett: Who are you? I've not seen your dog. Not here. No animals allowed at all.

Julius: My name is Julius. I'm here on behalf of Professor Bleeker.

Dr. Hackett: Professor Bleeker sent you here tonight?

Julius: Yes, indeed.

Dr. Hackett: He didn't think this was important enough to come himself during usual hours?

Julius: That's, that's, that's not the case. He's very busy, very occupied. So he sent me on his behalf.

Dr. Hackett: Sounds like that is the case. Well, I'm certain whatever he's working on is more important than my son's safety. I can't say I'm surprised.

cuppycup (Keeper): She takes a few steps toward Julius and sniffs at you.

Dr. Hackett: Good to see you are real, anyway. Hello. My name is Jane, Professor Jane Hackett. And these are my friends. Plants. Yes, these are all plants. And I'm very pleased to meet you, however strange the circumstances.

Julius: I understand your frustrations, but I'm here to help as well.

London (Julius): Then he looks around and he just says,

Julius: I enjoy your garden here. This is, this is a very nice operation. I've done some reading on different plants and it seems you have a great variety here.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, gosh, you really should see them in all their glory during the day. They are like a waking dream, such beauty. But some of the shy ones - I won't name names - prefer tending at night. Oh, where are my manners? Would you like some tea?

Julius: Do you mean chamomile?

Dr. Hackett: Oh, that's an exciting choice. Is camomile what would you prefer?

Julius: I'm just, you know, I'm open to different teas. It's just, you know, what do you have? What do you have?

Dr. Hackett: Well, let's see. If you are looking for help with your sleep, I've got some blends that will send you right off.

cuppycup (Keeper): Now, you did mention that Julius had read a bit on plants. I'll take your word for that. Give me a LIBRARY USE roll, see if you learned anything useful from that.

London (Julius): Alright. HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you're looking around the garden at the dark outlines of various plants, you notice that the professor has things sectioned off. The plants you pass walking through the side yard seem to be soporific plants with calming properties. One square in the back has psychedelic plants, marijuana, a little peyote cactus. And you're not sure about all these vines. They seem to be wavering in a wind that you're not feeling. There are dozens of unfamiliar plants back here, but as Dr. Hackett steps away from the patch of garden she was tending, you see a more pronounced sign that reads "Poison! Keep Dogs Away." And it occurs to you that she's wearing really thick gloves to handle these plants.

Julius: *nervous* I'm...I'm good for now. I just had a, had a lot of water on the train ride over.

Dr. Hackett: There's no caffeine, really. It's no trouble.

Julius: That's... Oh, that's all right. Maybe later, if the offer still stands.

Dr. Hackett: Oh, come now. This is disappointing. You have no idea what you are missing. But if you are sure, I won't force it upon you.

London (Julius): Yeah, and I'll just sort of bring up those things that I noticed to her. I'm like,

Julius: Oh, this looks like here, ok, this is the calming. This is the more mind altering and then dangerous. I see you have those gloves on. That's quite smart.

Dr. Hackett: How very astute of you. Of course, I wasn't going to use any of these in the tea. *giggle* Perish the thought. I need you healthy. And I don't think you'll fit in my wheelbarrow anyhow. *laugh*

Julius: Oh, ok. Yes. Well, yes, we wouldn't want any of that. But anyway. Yes. On behalf of Bleeker, how may I assist you here?

Dr. Hackett: This is awkward, but my plants don't object. And I'm assured that Bleeker would only send his most trusted associates. It's my son, you see my sweet baby, little Ambrose. He's being held unlawfully in the local jailhouse. This is a grave injustice. There was some drunken bar brawl and he was caught up in the middle. They're claiming he killed someone, which is outrageous. That boy is a saint. And I know it's simply not true.

Julius: And you said this was, this at a local bar around here that this took place at?

Dr. Hackett: Yes. "The Dry Bean." Not like my garden beans. Those are fresh. I'm quite certain this is a rowdy saloon the cadets haunt. And I fear there is more. We know there is more. I suspect he's being used for academic research. Last visit, he was acting so odd and they'd shaven his head. It looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. I've tried to press the matter, but the documents are out of reach, kept in the prison offices. We need to get him out. It's been several months since I've been allowed back to see him.

Julius: Hmm. You're asking me to break your son out of jail?

Dr. Hackett: Oh. Professor Bleeker promises to smooth everything over once we've done this. He says everyone owes him a favor and I believe it. I was expecting him to orchestrate this rescue in person. But you'll have to do. You look perturbed, Julius, but I don't think this is a serious jail. This job will be easy for you.

Julius: Easy? It's a casual jail?

Dr. Hackett: Well, I've heard some rumors. Cadets bragging about sneaking into the jail on a lark through the steam tunnels. There's miles of them underneath the campus. The college cleverly uses them to keep the building temperatures in check. The mechanics are all very advanced, as I understand it. The tunnels, however, sound a touch dangerous. But I'm sure you can handle them. I urge you to find Nolan Arnett, one of my worst students. That rancid little boy can show you the way. On most nights, you'll find him lounging in the opium den. The board has already put him on probation for sneaking around down there. If Nolan helps us, I'll see what I can do about his grades. After you have Ambrose and the files, we shall rendezvous at the den. It should be easy cover to wait there.

Julius: Nolan Arnette. These steam tunnels. Is there no map of these? Is there any sort of written documentation on these?

cuppycup (Keeper): They're deliberately mysterious, Julius. The administration is afraid that anything encouraging students to visit the tunnel will lead to Satan worship. Anyway, the only thing I have to go on is the experience of students who've been there.

Julius: Yes. Well, I think I'll pay Nolan a visit so that we can handle this for you.

Dr. Hackett: I'm forever grateful. With hardly a nudge from me, you surely are one of Bleeker's best. I'll show you the way if I can just see that map you're holding. This building here is adjacent to the opium den. They didn't put that on the map. Can you believe it? You'll see a large oak tree growing out front. The bark pattern looks like a face, but I'm the only one who sees it. And the chimney is always smoking, even though it's unbearably hot. I'll circle the jailhouse as well. You should consider getting help, especially if you are to obtain the research files. However, make sure any collaborators are dependable and can keep their mouth shut.

Julius: Uhhh...ok.

Dr. Hackett: Well, you must have noticed my garden is craving attention. Good luck. Be discreet. Don't use my name. If you are caught, Bleeker and I will find a way to help you.

London (Julius): I was wondering if it'd be smart to go to the bar and talk to the people about what happened. But if this is taking unconventional means, I'm not sure trying to prove anything would be worthwhile. So I think he's going to, I think he's going to head right there.

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius heads into the night in search of this opium den. Silas, you stand with your daughter, waiting to enter a carnival. The bright, colorful signs display chuckling clowns leering down at you, inviting the queuing customers into a dark tunnel. Your daughter pulls free as the crowd shuffles forward, pressing you into the dark. You grab for her, almost catching her fingers, but she slips away through the legs of those in front, and still the crowd presses in. Frantic, you push forward, but the crowd pins you among them. They grasp and hold you staring with empty eyes and whispering with lifeless voices. Lashing out, you fight your way forward. The gray crowd falls away. You find yourself in a hall of mirrors following the giggles of your daughter. And she's being entertained by her true father. You glimpse yourself in one of the mirrors and a gray man with soulless eyes stares back. All around you, framed in the mirrors, the crowd applauds. With that, we welcome Wes Davis.

London (Julius): Yay!

cuppycup (Keeper): You found your way to this opium den.

Wes (Silas): Somehow I figured you were going to pick me up in an opium den.

cuppycup (Keeper): It felt right. Give me a SANITY roll for your character.

Wes (Silas): EXTREME fucking SUCCESS, sir.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Silas opens his eyes to the relief of a smoky haze and the sweet amber sense of the room. It was only a nightmare. You're safe back with your pipe. The gloom of the den feels inviting, with tapestry-lined walls and abundant cushions. But the windows are all shuttered and the low burn of smokers lamps illuminates their vacant eyes and shrouds the tables and shifting shadows.

Wes (Silas): Silas is probably laid out on a pillow. He's done a couple hits of the opium, and he's just kind of, he's self-medicating, is what he's doing.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you reassure yourself, something blurry obstructs your view. Coming into focus, you see a gargantuan Black fellow looming over you. Smoke rises like steam emanating from the sheen of his bald head. From your seated position, his size is so exaggerated that this might be a hallucination. Give me a CONSTIUTION roll for Silas. Let's see how high you are.

Wes (Silas): Let's do it. Oh, wait. What am I doing?

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* It sounds like you're still high.

Wes (Silas): SUCCESS. I got a 67.

cuppycup (Keeper): So you have your wits about you. And this muscular man is standing over you in a partially-buttoned collarless shirt.

Silas: Who are you?

Julius: Oh, me? Hello. I'm Julius. Are you Nolan?

Silas: I don't know who the hell Nolan is.

Julius: Ok. Who are you?

Silas: As far as you know? I'm just a guy. If you'll excuse me, I wasn't very well-rested like I planned on being after that.

Julius: You are excused.

Silas: Thank you kindly. So what's this Nolan...what are you looking for him for?

Julius: I'm with a Traveling Medicine Show. Just doing some errands for, for the boss.

Silas: Mm hmm. Just doing an honest day's work, huh? I can respect that.

Julius: Yep. *laughs* Indeed. How do we find this guy? I know, I know he must be here.

cuppycup (Keeper): The two of you are in the corner of the main room. At the back wall, there's an old man in a blue linen robe, seated with his eyes closed. But he's not asleep. He sits on a throne of embroidered cushions perched above the customers. That man has brilliant, thin, white hair that halos his liver-spotted head. His deep-lined skin is marbled with blue veins. All of the staff here seem to answer to this man. He's directing them in slight motions and whispers. 

Silas: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well, I reckon if you look back there, you see that man right there? I reckon he knows everybody and everything. He seems to be the center of this joint.

Julius: Mm. Ok. I can pay him a visit.

Silas: We could probably go interrupt him, but it feels to me like staff just talks to him. You want to... You much of a people person, Julius?

Julius: Let me check.

Wes (Silas): *laughs*

cuppycup (Keeper): Julius, in the one hour we've known him, has killed a man, been stabbed by a mob of hobos...

Wes (Silas): *amused* Ok, ok, ok.

Silas: You know what? Let me, let me take the lead on this.

Julius: Ok. Alright. Are you, are you a people person?

Silas: I'm whatever person you need me to be.

Julius: Hmm. I like that. Utility comes in handy. After you.

Wes (Silas): Do they serve in tea at this place that's not opium infused?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yes, they serve water and tea.

Wes (Silas): Silas picks up a cup of tea and just slams it. It's hot as shit, too. He just slams it, shakes his head, puts his suspenders back up over each shoulder.

Silas: Alright, let's do this.

Wes (Silas): And he walks over towards the old man.

Silas: *altered voice* Excuse me, fella. I just want to know, is there, is there a gentleman in here by the name of Nolan? We're from out of town, and we were just wanting to have a chat with him.

cuppycup (Keeper): He remains seated. He doesn't open his eyes when you speak, but he gestures over to a member of the staff. She approaches, and the old man whispers something before she scampers off.

Manager: I believe this Nolan is here. What is your interest in this young life? Hmm?

Silas: Oh, I think we just need a couple of words. We're from out of town, we were told Nolan knows a thing or two about, about this area. Knows where we can have some good times, have some bad times. You know, just kind of give us the lay of the land.

Manager: Fortuitous times. I see.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a CHARM roll for Silas.

Wes (Silas): I will.

cuppycup (Keeper): You can add a BONUS die because of your special talent.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, because I fucking rule.

cuppycup (Keeper): SMOOTH TALKER is your Pulp tTalent.

Wes (Silas): I did have a HARD SUCCESS on the CHARM roll, so I'm just going to keep that. I don't need that BONUS die.

Manager: The sorrowful Mr. Nolan Arnett is there. Front, right table.

cuppycup (Keeper): Still, he doesn't open his eyes, but he points to a table. And you see a disheveled young man in a yellow sweat-stained shirt. He looks completely out of it, at the peak of his high.

Manager: He is a troubled mind, like many. They find sanctuary here to detach from their wounds. You say you wish to speak with the boy.

Silas: Yeah. We just need to talk.

Manager: Of course. A moment, please.

cuppycup (Keeper): This kid, Nolan, must be 17, 18 years old, and he lays slack-jawed among the pillows. Suddenly his back arches, and he lets out a gasp as he startles awake. He's looking around, shocked.

Nolan: *screams, panicked*

Manager: You may speak to Nolan.

Silas: Thanks!

Julius: Yeah, thank you. Thank you very much. Nolan?

Nolan: Where am I? Who are you?

Julius: Hello. I'm Julius.

Silas: Hi.

Julius: I hear that you know a thing or two about the tunnels.

Nolan: The tunnels? What? Who sent you?

cuppycup (Keeper): He looks up at you with large brown eyes. He has a shaven head, sallow skin.

Nolan: I'm sorry. That dream... I think I want to be alone.

Julius: Well, we need some help. You said you had a dream. I mean, are you ok?

cuppycup (Keeper): He gestures to the pipe.

Nolan: I don't do it all that often. How did you find me here?

Julius: Well, we were just in the area, and I heard tell that you might be here. We're just desperate, you know, I'm looking for a way into the tunnel. I'm trying to help out someone. We need a way into, into the jail.

Wes (Silas):  Silas's eyes get real big.

Julius: Oh, it's not what you think. It's not, it's not what you think. I'm not in trouble. Someone else is. And we're trying to get them out.

Nolan: Who told you I've been in there? I've only done it a few times, I swear. And never again. I've learned my lesson. I said I won't go back and I won't.

Silas: Hey, kid, come on now. Haven't you ever been in trouble? Wouldn't you have ever wanted somebody outside coming to help you out?

Nolan: Sure I have. I think they're going to kick me out of school. But that's just another reason I can't help you with this.

London (Julius): Ok. And can I flash a quarter at him as well?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a PERSUADE roll for Julius.

London (Julius): No. 57 versus 10.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're hulking over Nolan at this table. His eyes dart over to Silas and back to Julius. He waves off the quarter.

Nolan: Look, fellas, you seem real nice, but I don't want to be involved in this. I never saw you here.

cuppycup (Keeper): Nolan stumbles backward, almost falling out of his chair. Then he rolls behind to the backrest and bolts for the front door.

Julius: Oh, there he goes. Maybe we can see where he goes. Maybe he's running into one of these tunnels.

Silas: Yeah. Let's go.

London (Julius): So we just kind of pursue him. He can't be too fast if he's still waking up.

Wes (Silas): I don't know if we're faster than him. Can we just bookend him and walk alongside and be like,

Silas: Where are you going, big guy?

cuppycup (Keeper): You can maybe do that. Give DEX rolls.

London (Julius): That's my best skill, actually.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, yeah. *laughs* 25.

Wes (Silas): Ok, well, I got it. Just a STANDARD SUCCESS

London (Julius): Ooh, HARD SUCCESS. 10 versus 24. Let's go!

Wes (Silas): HARD SUCCESS! Yeah! That's what you do! Yes!

cuppycup (Keeper): You can easily flank this kid as he's trying to run away. He nearly runs into that large oak tree out front and trips over an exposed root. He's brushing dirt off his knees, slowly heading back toward campus.

Julius: Where are you going? We just, we just need help. Well, how can we convince you?

Silas: Yeah, kid, we just want to talk.

Julius: Son of this professor, they were wrongly accused. Now they're in jail. I'm just looking to get them out pretty discreetly. You don't have to go with us. I just need some sort of passage into it.

Nolan: No, please stop. You're creeping me out and I'm going back to the dorm. I don't like any of the professors, and I certainly don't know their sons. I can't understand why they gave you my name, but it's a mistake.

Julius: They thought you would be able to help. They thought you would be useful.

Silas: Doesn't it feel good to feel useful, kid?

Nolan: Which professor is it?

Julius: Professor of Botany. Professor Hackett.

Nolan: Oh, God, I'm failing that class. Why would she do this to me? She's the worst.

Julius: Well, hey, maybe if you help us out, you won't fail the class. You'll have leverage in that situation. You help Hackett, Hackett helps you.

Nolan: She never even mentioned the son in class. Why would she give you my name? I don't know. This is all too strange, even for A&M. Wait. You think she'll give me a C for helping you?

Julius: You know what? We'll make sure that she gives you a B.

Nolan: A B? That'd be my first one. Yeah. Ok, maybe this could work. You just want to get into the steam tunnels, right? If you get caught, this didn't come from me. They're already trying to kick me out. I really need that B.

Julius: Well, we got your name from Hackett. Hackett is trusting in you. So how does that sound?

Nolan: Fine. I'll do it.

Julius: Thank you. Thank you for showing us. Yes.

Nolan: So, listen, I worked over at the mess hall as a waiter, but I kept breaking dishes, so they put me on kitchen patrol. I guess I'm the custodian over there now. The work is shit, but I do know there's a maintenance entrance to the steam tunnels in the supply room off the kitchen. And there are lanterns in there you can use in the tunnels. Problem is, the door will be locked.

Wes (Silas): But the custodian would have that key. Does he see like a ring of keys or a bulge in a pocket where keys might be? Or...

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. It's obvious he wears a ring of keys on his belt loop. There might be 20 of them. Nolan is going to notice you eyeing them, Silas.

Nolan: Alright. Take the keys. Do whatever you need to. But you'd better survive, because I need those keys back soon. And I need that grade in Hackett's class.

Julius: Thank you. And we'll talk to Hackett for you.

Nolan: And, hey, can I have that quarter? The one you offered me the first time? I did give you the keys.

Julius: Take the quarter, kid. Get a book with it. Do studying. That'll help you.

Nolan: Thanks, mister. I've been down the tunnels a few times. It's dark down there. Spooky. Be careful and try not to piss yourself. And I'll say it again: don't die. You know where to find me when you're done.

cuppycup (Keeper): He snatches that quarter and runs off back toward the opium den.

London (Julius): Yeah. He's not getting that book.

Nolan: *distance* I want that weed!

Julius: My friend, you have quite the stage presence there. You ever thought about pursuing any entertainment?

Silas: You could say I've, I've used these skills in my past before. The name's Silas. It's nice to meet you. It seems that we're in business together now.

Julius: I guess so. Well, Silas, we could use your help. Could use these acting skills in case we get in in a pinch. Who knows what we'll find down there or once we get to the jail.

Silas: Well, it sounds like your cause is noble. I'm in. I'm in. Let's go get this kid out of, out of the jail.

Julius: Alright.

London (Julius): And I'm going to look for that entrance and head that way.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. You can make your way to the dining hall. It's not very far. The windows are all dark and the doors to the building are locked.

Wes (Silas): Now, are we going to take the time to try all 20 keys?

cuppycup (Keeper): Good point. There are a lot of keys. You know, give me a d20, we'll see how many keys you have to try.

Wes (Silas): Fuck.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* 18.

London (Julius): No! 

Wes (Silas): Could have been worse. Could have been 19. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. So you're here for a while. So because it's 18, I'm going to ask you for a STEALTH roll.

Wes (Silas): Oh, shit.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. *laughs* So you failed. You're standing at the door. Your hands are shaking. And, Julius, this feels like it's taking forever. Would you like to do something for Silas to PUSH this roll?

Wes (Silas): Yeah, I do.

cuppycup (Keeper): When you get to the 5th key, someone dressed casually but wearing tall leather boots with spurs rounds the corner. And another. Then another. Three of them, all dressed like this. They're eating sandwiches like they've just left the dining hall from another exit. But it's after midnight now.

Wes (Silas): Uh, what do you think? What do you think? To get out of this? How old is Julius?

cuppycup (Keeper): 34 is what I have.

London (Julius): Yeah. We're not students.

Wes (Silas): Yeah. Ok. So, Silas, is he drawing, is there attention being drawn?

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, yeah. They froze when they saw the two of you standing there with the ring of keys.

Silas: If you cadets want any demerits, you're going to keep looking this way. And if you don't, you're going to keep eating. You understand?

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, good. Yeah. Give me the PUSHED roll on that. 

Wes (Silas): Yay! Barely. 59.

Cadets: Come on, y'all. Hopefully the commandant don't find out about this. Oh, come on. Let's go.

cuppycup (Keeper): And when you get to the 18th key, you hear the click of a lock, and you may enter the building.

Julius: There we go.

Silas: That was nervewracking.

Julius: I know.

cuppycup (Keeper): Silas, you have some understanding of the way these buildings are laid out and you're able to easily locate the kitchen and the adjoining supply room Nolan mentioned.

Silas: It looks like we're going to go this way.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're not under any obvious time pressure, so you can find the right key and open the door. Inside you find mops, buckets, other cleaning supplies. And in the back of the room, there's a hatch in the floor marked by a red triangle with an exclamation point in the center and the words "No unauthorized entry".

Silas: I think that's an invite to enter.

Julius: Yeah. Same here.

London (Julius): So I want to try to break this, break this thing open.

cuppycup (Keeper): Well, the hatch has a locking wheel and a grab handle, but surprisingly, no padlock. So when Julius attempts to open it with his strength, he finds it rather easy to do. A humid air engulfs you from the dark as the hatch is cranked open to reveal a thin steel ladder descending into the pitch black.

London (Julius): Does it look like it's kind of safe to descend?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's dark. Nolan did mention lanterns, didn't he?

London (Julius): I would like to take a lantern.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, I'm going to do the same.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lighting a pair of lanterns, the air tastes of metal, as both of you start your descent into the tunnels. Reaching the bottom, you cast the light around, looking down long lengths of tunnel, which carry heavy, rusted pipes into their gloomy depths. Now, Hackett circled the jail on your map, Julius, giving you a rough idea of where to head, you hope. I will need a NAVIGATE roll to get started. You can only see perhaps 10 feet in your lamps' dim light.

London (Julius): 70 versus 10. FAILURE.

Wes (Silas): Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. 

London (Julius): I feel like we would take the offshoots. Yeah, because I feel like it wouldn't be just a straight path once we got in there. So I'm exploring whatever we come to.

cuppycup (Keeper): You trudge through muddy puddles and into wafts of steam blowing through the tight spaces, perhaps grateful the pipes aren't staving off a winter freeze. You pass boilers, cables and storage nooks among a maze like a warren of brick passages. Your progress slows considerably as the deeper mud becomes more of a slog. Now you could turn back before you go further or give me STRENGTH rolls to power through the mud.

Wes (Silas): Do you want to? You're leading this.

London (Julius): I'm going through the mud, yes. STRENGTH roll.

Wes (Silas): Let's do it. Alright. I got an EXTREME.

London (Julius): It's almost a HARD SUCESS. I don't want to spend LUCK. Just a SUCCESS. 41 versus 80.

cuppycup (Keeper): You press on, finding your rhythm as you struggle through the mud into a poorly-maintained area of tunnels. The pipes here look older, patched up and repaired. They rattle and loose fittings and they disappear into tangles of newer pipes. The air is slick with humidity, and the sweltering heat plasters your clothes to your skin. The long tunnels seem to offer no ventilation. I'll need some LUCK rolls here.

Wes (Silas): Boom! I've never seen a 9 and a 1. That's fucking ridiculous. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Wow.

London (Julius): EXTREME SUCCESS and a CRIT SUCCESS!

Wes (Silas): I don't think I've ever rolled a CRIT. That's...that's awesome.

cuppycup (Keeper): Luckily, in a larger section, you find some relief that's further from the heat of these scalding pipes. And Silas, you notice a pair of shoes stuck fast in the mud. They look like they've been here a while, and they're filled with water.

Wes (Silas): They're good shoes? Can we clean 'em up?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure. On the CRIT SUCCESS, they probably fit you, too. They're tiny, is what I'm saying.

Wes (Silas): We're going to take note of the shoes that are stuck in the mud. He's going to look at Julius and say,

Silas: Looks like we best tighten up these boots.

Julius: Oh, yeah.

Wes (Silas): I get down and we both tighten up our our own shoes to remain on our feet.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pushing on, you begin to hear faint echoes of voices in the distance. From the sounds of it, they're coming from an offshoot of the tunnel you're in.

Wes (Silas): Are they saying stuff like, "Hey, it really does suck to be in this jail"?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me LISTEN rolls.

Silas: Ok. Come on, come on. 

London (Julius): Nope!

Wes (Silas): Fuck!

cuppycup (Keeper):  Ok. The echo really obscures what they're saying, but it sounds like they're underground with you.

Silas: Oh, you hear that? It's down there.

Julius: Yeah.

Silas: You want to go discovering or not?

Julius: Do you think that'll be smart?

Silas: Oh, no. Can you handle yourself?

Julius: Most definitely. Can you handle yourself?

Silas: You're goddamned right.

Silas: Let's do it. Let's go. 

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Ok. There's still mud on the path here, so I'd like STEALTH rolls if you're going down that tunnel. Let's see how noticeable you are.

London (Julius): Uh, pretty noticeable.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, I got a SUCCESS. You carrying a bunch of pots with that 92?

London (Julius): What? I got books, man. I got books in my pockets.

Wes (Silas): *laughs* That's right.

cuppycup (Keeper): Silas has no trouble quietly working his way down the passage. Julius is a big fellow, and the more quietly he tries to step through the mud, the louder he sloshes. You do make it down far enough to see shadows moving in the torch light. There might be six or more of them. Silas, you're close enough to see that they're cloaked and standing around a fire. London, Julius has read a lot of books. Does he happen to know Latin?

London (Julius): No.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, I still will take an INTELLIGENCE roll off of him.

London (Julius): 93.

cuppycup (Keeper): This doesn't make a whole lot of sense to you. Maybe they said something about eating. It's mostly nonsense.

Julius: Now, this seems ominous.

Silas: Doesn't seem great.

London (Julius): Is anything happening as they're chanting, other than, like, the fires? Is there any visual things we could see?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. Let's keep rolling. SPOT HIDDEN this time.

London (Julius): FAILURE. 40 out of 25.

cuppycup (Keeper): London, you sound totally defeated.

Wes (Silas): I got a HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): On that HARD SUCCESS, you can see two people seated in the center. They're dressed differently, wearing all white. Between them sits a large bowl, mounded with a bloody mess, which is hard to distinguish in the dark shadows.

London (Julius): Oh!

Wes (Silas): You said they're like cult robes with hoods on?

cuppycup (Keeper): That seems about right.

Wes (Silas): That's not great.

cuppycup (Keeper): And as Julius advances, dropping one of his heavy feet back into the mud, they break the chant.

Cadets: Wait! Someone's coming. Kill the lanterns. Out of the way.

London (Julius): I'm trying to just kind of get up against the wall.

Wes (Silas): Yeah. Silas ducks down and gets real low.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok.

Wes (Silas): Silas blows his lantern out. That's probably a bad move.

Cadets: Ok. Are you both doing that?

London (Julius): No, I'll keep mine lit, but I'll have it on the opposite side of me from the way which they would come.

Wes (Silas): Oh, it makes you look huge. Yeah. It's a good idea.

London (Julius): Oh, no! I forgot how, like, how light works, but I'll do that. It's ok.

cuppycup (Keeper): Two of these cloaked people are coming at you, aggressively splashing through the water.

Ted: Show yourself, nonbeliever! You shall not be permitted among us.

Wes (Silas): Ok, ok, ok.

London (Julius): Which character are you pulling out of the rolodex?

Silas: *nerd voice* Alright, cadets! I guess, I guess explore tunnel time is over, and we should probably just turn around and make our way back to the barracks. What do you think?

Ted: Davey, is that you? Oh, you had me going there for a second.

Silas: No, it's not Davey.

Ted: Step from the darkness, infidel. What's your name, then?

Silas: Oh, just a lost fish, you know, just corps shenanigans.

Ted: Oh, fucking hell, a lost fish. Why didn't you say so? You need to be in the circle. Who sent you down here alone? You'd better tell us. You could've fucked up our hazing, huh?

Julius: *whispers* Oh, it's a fraternity? What is it?

cuppycup (Keeper): They're really close now. And you see fresh-faced college students in robes.

Ted: Oh, come on, bud. Plenty of cow brains for you to slurp down too. *laughs*

cuppycup (Keeper): When they notice Julius in the lantern light, they stumble back and one falls into the mud.

Ted: Whoa. Whoa. What is this? Who are you?

Silas: We're the kind of fish that don't eat whatever the hell you're serving.

Ted: Oh, shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. We didn't mean nothing. We didn't mean nothing by it. It's just a bit of fun. Just wanted to scare the fish.

Julius: We don't want to interrupt anything you got going on here. We're just passing through. Just a mistake.

Cadets: Is this part of the ritual? Hello? Do I just eat it?

Ted: Just eat it!

Silas:  Now we're just down here doing some exploring.

Ted: What? You're not going to, right, Ok, well, people don't come down here often. You weren't going to tell anyone, are you?

London (Julius): Hmm. Would that be a problem?

Ted: Oh, God. We'll get thrown out.

Randall: It's an honor code violation, Ted. You have to keep this a secret. We won't tell anybody we saw you either.

Cadets: Jesus. What is that? *vomits*

Silas: I guess that depends on you telling us what's down this tunnel here.

Cadets: Hey, Ted. Is that Davey? That bastard owes me a dollar.

Ted: *yells* We're going to get fucking expelled.

Cadets: What?

Julius: You're not going to get expelled. We're actually trying to make our way out of here. Can you... Do you know this place pretty well? We just need some directions.

Ted: Sure. We know enough. There aren't that many tourist spots down here, mister.

Julius: Well, we're trying to get back up. Can you help us? Just, just help us figure out where we are in relation to everything above, you know, which way is campus? Which way is the jail? Which way is... Just help us out.

Silas: All the various landmarks around town.

Randall: Well, we're close to the mess hall. I think that's your safest bet.

Silas: But if there were other beys to be had?

Julius: Well, I know where that is above ground. We're just trying to get our bearings. We need to be on the other side of the jail, actually. So that might be where we need to go.

Ted: So you want directions to the jail?

Julius: Now that I think about it, yeah.

Ted: That would work. When they say, I don't want to go to jail, please, it's a tradition. It's passed us. Just walk all the way down this tunnel. Keep going straight until you hit a T. Is that right, Randall? To the jail?

Randall: Yeah, I think so. Go left at the T.

Ted:  No, it's a right. This way is East C.

Randall: No, you're all turned around, Ted. You go left at the T and then you go right at the next split. Don't listen to him, he's a pisshead.

Julius: Ok, of course. Of course. Sophomore, right?

Ted: Yes. Whoop!

Josh: Hey, this ain't pull out day!

Wes (Silas): You said they had a fire?

cuppycup (Keeper): Yes, they do.

Wes (Silas): So when we walk past them, Silas is going to relight his lamp.

cuppycup (Keeper): The sobbing cadet in robes starts to crawl away from you as you come into the light. You pass close to that ritual bowl and reach down to relight the wick. The stench of the bowl's contents is overwhelming.

Ted: Alright, alright. Nothing to see here. You've got it now. We helped you. So don't tell anybody we're down here and we won't say nothing about the jail. Not that you're doing anything wrong. I mean, right? What jail?

Cadets: In the bowl, you can see animal organs and maybe testicles. Some kids in vomit-soaked robes huddled together in the corner. One of the cadets goads them back to their meal.

Josh: Come on. Eat.

London (Julius): I miss college. Yeah. We'll follow the directions.

cuppycup (Keeper): Leaving the hazing far behind, you find yourselves alone in the narrow tunnels again, pushing past hot pipes. But you're making progress as you arrive at the junction.

Silas: Which kid you want to listen to? They seemed more confident about the left than the right.

Julius: Yeah. Let's try the left then the right.

cuppycup (Keeper): You'll hear a knocking noise, a clanging as you're walking down this tunnel.

Julius: It might be the steam in the pipes.

cuppycup (Keeper): The sound grows more violent the further you walk.

Silas: But that's ok. Let's keep going. Nothing to be scared of.

Julius: Yeah. No, we can, we can handle ourselves. It's probably more of those most kids or just steam.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you keep going, you can feel the heat of the burning pipes, even walking at some distance. Some of the older pipes look like they've split and been patched with maybe clay. Well, one of those is rattling and sputtering at the joint. It leaks this burbling steam and begins to whistle. I'd like DEX checks from you both.

Wes (Silas): A HARD SUCCESS.

London (Julius): SUCCESS. 16 versus 25.

Wes (Silas): Yeah, dude!

London (Julius): Bro, I don't know what I'm worried about with this DEX thing.

cuppycup (Keeper): Bursts of steam erupt from the joint, filling the tunnel ahead before sputtering and dying down to a leaky miss. Cautiously passing it, you find yourself at another junction leading right or straight on.

Silas: Yeah, yeah. Here's the right. Let's do it. Alright.

Wes (Silas): I don't know why I picked Batman for this guy's voice, but I guess here we are. I just realized what he was doing.

cuppycup (Keeper): I thought that was intentional.

Wes (Silas): *Batman voice* Where's Rachel?

London (Julius): *Batman voice* Where's Ambrose?

cuppycup (Keeper): You've seen a few rats running along the pipes as you've navigated the tunnels, but now you're occasionally seeing dead rats. More and more of them. Their heads are missing.

Julius: Oh.

Wes (Silas): Say what now?

cuppycup (Keeper):  Dead rats here, and they're missing their heads.

Wes (Silas): Clean cut? Were they chewed up in, like, gears? Was there...like, what are we seeing?

cuppycup (Keeper): I wouldn't call it clean cut. Somewhere in between, maybe.

Wes (Silas): Awesome. Like a bite?

cuppycup (Keeper):  Could be.

Wes (Silas): That's not ideal.

cuppycup (Keeper): Then when you start to pick up on these... Oh, go ahead.

Wes (Silas): Just. I'm sorry. I just visualized biting a rat's head off. I'm about to puke.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, sorry.

Wes (Silas): Alright.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're noticing red lines faintly drawn over the walls.

Wes (Silas): Are they drawn with decapitated rat stump? This person is using rats as crayons?

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, well, you know, having seen the rats, I think you might suspect this is blood. You could follow the red lines or keep going your own way.

Silas: You wanna...You want to follow the rats?

Julius: That's about as good of a lead as any.

cuppycup (Keeper): Stomping through the mud and water, you follow the mess of threads painted on the tunnel walls in rat blood. They lead you deeper into the maze of tunnels and not in a direction suggested by a cadet. After some time, your lanterns flicker and wane.

London (Julius): Is there any sort of exit point from this that we could see?

cuppycup (Keeper): You're in the labyrinth of steam tunnels and you have the blood to follow. As long as you have a light, you have a chance of finding your way out. After what must be at least an hour of walking, you approach a door where the lines of blood seem to converge.

Julius: What do you think, Silas?

Silas: You want to try to get in this room? I mean, we got a whole ton of keys.

Julius: Oh, that's true. Let's try it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Well, as you get closer, you realize this door is not secured. It's almost been pulled off the hinges.

Wes (Silas): Silas is going to stick his head in that door and hold his lantern in and use a SPOT HIDDEN to see what he can see.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* You can't just call your own SPOT HIDDEN. So, Wes, please give me a SPOT HIDDEN roll as you shine your lantern into the room.

Wes (Silas): SUCCESS.

London (Julius): Nice.

cuppycup (Keeper): Within, crates are stacked in molding piles, the rotten wood bulging with mounds of headless rats. Their tails and feet push out of the slots and the sides.

Wes (Silas): Oh, well, fuck all this, man.

London (Julius): Yep. Yeah. Oh, gosh.

cuppycup (Keeper): Playing the light of the lantern around the room, you discover a pit dug from the soft mud which holds the missing rat heads. Their glassy eyes dance in the lantern light, watching you. I need a group LUCK roll here.

London (Julius): Come on, come on.

Wes (Silas): Come on, come on. Yes!

London (Julius): Yeah! 32 versus 60.

cuppycup (Keeper): *disappointed groan* Oh. Unfortunately, LUCK is on your side, and the room's resident is not here for the moment.

London (Julius): Good, good.

Julius: That's sick.

Silas: Yeah, we should probably... This doesn't feel like jail to me.

Julius: No, let's, let's move on.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you sweep your lantern and turn around to leave the room, Silas, you do notice one more thing. One crate catches your attention. It's tucked in behind some of the crates of rat bodies. You could swear you glimpsed tufts of human hair sticking out between the slats in that crate.

London (Julius): Oh no.

Bleeker: Thank you for coming. I understand you've had a difficult day. I am working out where to send you in the morning. And in the meantime, perhaps you can discuss how you might combine your...what it is you do.

Eli: Moni, you said striptease?

Moni: That was my original audition, yes.

Chuck (Eli): Aha. We could combine my knife throwing act where you're up against a wall and I throw it to nick the garments off of your, off of your character.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* My God.

Chuck (Eli): *laughs* But there's a high chance that'll kill you.

Moni: You throw knives, really?

Eli: Among other things.

Moni: I knew I liked you. I throw things too.

Patience: I shoot things.

Chester: I run around....?

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* Oh, God.

cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!