Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. UNLAND, EPISODE 3: LAST ADMISSION cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care. ('PURGE' BY ANDREW JUDAH PLAYS) Reporter 1: After 27 years, Funland management announced that the popular amusement park will close its gates for good, effective immediately. Reporter 2: Mr. Fun's Big Twister has made its last run around the Funland amusement park. Reporter 1: Following a year marked by scandal... ♪ OUR INNOCENCE WAS SUCH A GIFT ♪ WE TRADED IT TO FEEL IN CHARGE Reporter 1: In a press release, the owners of Funland denied any responsibility for... Reporter 2: For these horrific crimes. ♪ A HOLY CURSE WAS SET IN PLACE ♪ WE HONOR IT WITHOUT REGARD Reporter 1: Funland will permanently close... Reporter 2: With Funland management not responding to our request for a statement about the murders. Scott (GM): Kevin was running for the tunnel. It's not far away. cuppycup (Kevin): Yeah, there's there's a first aid stand nearby. So I'm just going to kind of slink behind that. I know there are doors that lead down to the corridor. Scott (GM): Yeah, there is. The door is pretty rusted, and as you open it up, you know, there is a horrible screeching sound, but... *cat meows* Oh, God. Speaking of horrible sounds. Eoghan (Maxxx): Oh, there you go. Horrible screeching. Scott (GM): Yes, Chaos. I love you. So you pull the door open and it creaks or screeches with these rusty hinges and you can hear the dripping of water down below at the bottom of these concrete steps. But one thing you can see is that from down there, you can see the flickering of some kind of light down there. cuppycup (Kevin): That doesn't make any sense since there's no electricity, but the dripping does because there was exposed plumbing down there. But I think that Kevin will turn on the flashlight on his cell phone and and kind of slowly step down the stairs. Scott (GM): OK, yeah. You make your way down, probably fairly carefully because it's all a bit mossy and slimy. But you make your way down to the tunnel. The tunnel is a fairly unadorned thing, it's designed for function rather than aesthetics, and it's just bare concrete walls. But you can see that all the way down the straight length of the tunnel, there are little flickering lights at various places on the edges. And you can also see that, yeah, it's like there are alcoves that you don't remember here, which is where these flickering lights are coming from. cuppycup (Kevin): Kevin, if possible, is going to try to convince himself that this was some kind of emergency lighting system that he just had never seen activated. Scott (GM): Maybe. cuppycup (Kevin): *chuckles* So I think he's going to keep going, but try to ignore the ignore the alcoves and the lights if possible. Scott (GM): OK. You head down and there is you know, there's about an inch of water on the grounds, so you're splashing your way down there. And yeah, as you pass the first alcove, you're trying not to look, but, you know, from the corner of your eye, you see that there seems to have been chipped out of the ball and there's a candle in there and there seems to be other stuff as well. cuppycup (Kevin): The lit candle is probably too tempting to ignore. So I think he is going to kind of peek in for a slightly closer look. Scott (GM): OK, you take a look in there and there are a few items. There's a child's toy, there's a photograph of a car, and there is someone's bracelet that has just been left there, like offerings. Kevin: Some vagrants have moved in here, this...someone's living here. This is crazy. cuppycup (Kevin): So I think he's going to try to pick up the pace and start heading further down the tunnel, down the corridor. Scott (GM): Ok, yeah, you head down and there are more of these alcoves all the way down. Not all of them are lit, some of them have got newer candles than others and some of them, the candles have burned down, but there seems to be something in every one of them. cuppycup (Kevin): But nothing recognizable, right? Just like belongings in all the alcoves? Scott (GM): Yeah, it's just like random selections of stuff, there's all sorts of things. You see a used hypodermic needle in one of them, and in another you can see a pile of cheeseburger wrappers. You know, there are lots of pictures of people and lots of just little kinds of personal artifacts, you know, jewelry and toys and pictures and items of clothing. There's a fairly moldy silk scarf tucked in one of them. One of them has got a little jar with what appears to be about a half dozen human teeth in it. cuppycup (Kevin): Oh, that's fun. I think at the sight of the human teeth, it's time to sprint the best he can out of the the corridor or down the corridor toward the exit of the park. Scott (GM): OK, you head down towards the exit and there, down at the far end, you can see that the corridor is blocked off. There are more candles down here and there seem to be more offerings or whatever just left, some of them just soaking into the water here, others just leaning up against the walls of the tunnel. But they're all surrounding what is now this almost plug that is formed by more of this lattice work that you saw upstairs, supporting the roller coaster tracks. cuppycup (Kevin): Can Kevin take the phone out of his pocket or he's got the flashlight up. So can he send a text to Ellie that says, "what do you want?" Scott (GM): And as you send the text, you hear from somewhere behind you in the corridor, the beep beep of the SMS sound from an old Nokia phone. cuppycup (Kevin): Of course. Um...can he walk in that direction? Scott (GM): Yeah. And yeah, you find in one of these alcoves, there is an old Nokia phone. cuppycup (Kevin): Can he look to see if his text message just came through? Scott (GM): Yeah, every single one of them is on there. cuppycup (Kevin): OK. I think Kevin is going to smash the phone. Not his, the Nokia. Joe (J0ns3y): Good luck. Scott (GM): *laughs* I was about to say there should be some really hard roll involved with smashing a Nokia. Wes (Jason): Throw that thing out of a plane. cuppycup (Kevin): Maybe not smash it, but just throw it against the concrete wall. Scott (GM): Oh, yeah. It sort of bounces and then splashes into the water a bit further down the corridor. Joe (J0ns3y): It starts ringing. *laughs* Kevin: *scared* What the fuck? cuppycup (Kevin): And I think if the other exit is blocked you said... Scott (GM): Yeah, by that latticework. cuppycup (Kevin): OK, so I think trying to tear through that latticework to get out is going to be Kevin's next idea. Scott (GM): OK. Then, yeah, you go down to the end of the corridor where that lattice is, and as I mentioned with the the lattice up above, it's fairly tightly interwoven. But that doesn't mean that it's impossible for you to force your way in. And if that's what you want, if you want to start trying to push the struts aside and force your way inside, you certainly can. There is the fog, the mist you've seen outside, seems to be even thicker in there. And you do get the impression of all these eyes watching you from out of the mist. But if you want, you can force your way in there. cuppycup (Kevin): And in the alcoves, I didn't see any axes or anything that might be helpful here? Scott (GM): No. cuppycup (Kevin): OK, I think there's no point in going back to the other side of the corridor. So he's going to...this is like last chance to get out of the park. He's going to go for it. Scott (GM): OK. And I think we'll come back to you in a few moments. Let's cut back to J0ns3y. So J0ns3y was just speaking to this woman that he'd met in the mist up upstairs, up in the main park by the petting zoo. This woman with long gray hair and an almost beatific smile was giving you encouraging words, telling you that no one really dies here. J0ns3y: What do you mean no one dies here? What're you talking about? Ina: This is a place of healing. J0ns3y: Yeah, right. Sure. So, yes, that's great. Yeah, so how do I get out? Ina: Getting out of here requires an act of will, an act of self-knowledge. Scott (GM): She looks like she's trying to think of exactly the right words. And then she looks you straight in the eyes and gives you a big smile and says:. Ina: An act of sacrifice. J0ns3y: What do you mean? Like paying someone? I haven't got much money, but like I can...if you get all that shit, I'm sorry, I mean that stuff away from the doors, I might have, like a fiver or something. Ina: No, what do you need to understand is that, for example, I can come and go from here as I please. What's trapping you inside here is you. There's something that you're holding within you, some lie that you're telling to yourself or the world that is keeping you a prisoner here. This is a place of absolute, brutal, painful truths. As long as you have that lie festering within you, this will be your home. But as soon as you're ready to let that go, you can walk out of here a free man. Joe (J0ns3y): J0ns3y looks really uncomfortable. J0ns3y: I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing inside me, I haven't lied to anyone. I just want to go home. Ina: Well, then you should just be able to walk straight out of here. J0ns3y: We tried that. Yeah, it didn't work. Ina: I can help you, I can help you rid yourself of your lies, if that's what you want. I can help heal you. I can help with everything that is eating away inside of you. True salvation lies within him. True salvation is his gift to you, if you just tear away the veils and see the truth for what it really is. J0ns3y: What him? Who are you talking about? Scott (GM): As she just indicates, she sweeps her hand around and just indicates as if showing you just everything around and says:. Ina: Him. *sighs* You don't understand, do you? You're somewhere holy. You might think of this as a temple, but it's more than that. We are here within his body, we are here within his flesh. This is a God made manifest. We are like worms, maggots living within his body here. But he gives us blessings, he gives us truth, he gives us light. If we approach him, if we divest ourselves of the lies, if we tear away the veils and see the truth for what it is he reveals. J0ns3y: Alright, fine. What do you need me to do? Ina: Well, if you want to divest yourself of your lies, come with me. I'll show you. Scott (GM): And she places a hand on your arm and starts leading you somewhere. Are you going with her? Joe (J0ns3y): Jonesy kind of looks behind him for a second and then pulls himself up straight and goes, J0ns3y: *quiet* Yeah, yeah, I'll go with you. I can't live like this anymore. Scott (GM): OK. And she starts leading you towards the building that you just walked away from on your way to the petting zoo, this building with this huge clown head in the front. You can see written on the side, I mean, there's all sorts of gaudy paintwork on the side that shows, you know, clowns tumbling and falling and bouncing on trampolines. And there's writing on the side that says "Mr. Fun's House of Hilarity." But she leads you around the side and you can see a separate entrance and a separate sign that says "Hall of Mirrors." J0ns3y: What's in here? Ina: Salvation. Scott (GM): She says, and leads you inside. Shall we cut over to the others, then? Maxxx and Jason. Jason can see that the wound is stitching together in Maxxx's throat. Maxxx can now breathe properly, you can actually now form words again. You are beginning to get your strength back. And there's still all the blood, you know, smeared all over your neck and soaked into your shirt. Yeah, you're now beginning to feel alright again. Jason: Maxxx, are you alright? Maxxx: I don't know. I just got stabbed in the neck. Jason: But you're talking. Maxxx: OK.... This is different. Jason: Do you feel alright? Scott (GM): The big man in the bomber jacket is still sitting there going, Baz: Trace? Is that really you, Trace? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Maxxx: I'm sick of this shit. Who the fuck is Tracy and why the fuck are you stabbing people? Who are you? Baz: I don't know. I heard I heard Trace's voice. What? Why are you speaking in Tracy's voice? Jason: I'm not speaking in any voice. Scott (GM): And you hear just his voice again coming from somewhere, saying: Tracy: It's alright, Baz, everything's going to be alright. Maxxx: The fuck is happening? Who is Tracy? What is that? Who are you? Like, what is happening, guys? Scott (GM): This man, he's almost on his hands and knees, sort of shuffling over towards you, just with this sort of almost bashful, nervous look on his face. He's still spattered in Maxxx's blood as well. But he gives you a sort of half smile as he's coming towards you. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'm going to slap him. Like point at him, slap him, and go:. Maxxx: Who are you and who is Tracy? Start making sense real quick, buddy. You just tried to kill me. I don't know why we don't just get rid of you now. Like what is happening. Who is Tracy? Who are you? What is this shit? Baz: He was speaking in Trace's voice! I knew that she was still around here somewhere, or at least part of her. Jason: Where did Tracy go? Baz: Well, she went home, didn't she? Jason: Where's home? Like down the street? Maxxx: Macclesfield? Scott (GM): No, I'm not really doing a Macclesfield accent. *laughs* OK, yeah, let's say Macclesfield. I'm shit with accents anyway. So he says, Baz: Yeah, down in Macclesfield, yeah. Maxxx: So she's gone to Macclesfield, OK. Now who are you? And what's happening? Scott (GM): He says, Baz: I'm Baz. Maxxx: Alright Baz, you've gotta work with me here Baz, or you're going to get slapped again. Give me some context. You lost Tracy, Tracy went to Macclesfield. You're here. You stabbed me. Why? Like what's happened? Why are you freaking out? Scott (GM): He just says, Baz: I don't know...everything I've seen in this place has been so fucked up. I saw you running towards me... I was just defending myself. Jason: How long have you been here? . Baz: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, there isn't really day and night here, I don't know what's going on. Maxxx: Clearly. Who the fuck is Tracy, because you seem to be talking in her voice? What's going on? Jason: I don't know who the fuck Tracy is. What, do you think I'm all-knowing? How did you get here? Maxxx: The Fiat Punto. Baz: Tracy told me to come. Scott (GM): He says, Baz: Well, Tracy told me I had to come here, I had to see something here. And she brought me here and then she left and I couldn't get out of here. And that stupid bloody woman keeps going on about fucking mirrors, and I don't know what any of that shit means. Jason: Who keeps going on about mirrors? Baz: That woman, the one who calls herself a priestess. Maxxx: It's a church thing. Jason: I don't like church things. Maxxx: It makes sense. Baz: She keeps trying to get me to look in mirrors, and every time I do, I don't know. It's... Maxxx: What's your feeling on spongy hands? Jason: Yeah, I looked in a mirror. It wasn't good. Baz: Did she tell you what to do, then? Jason: No! I looked in a mirror and something crawled out of it and grabbed me. Maxxx: Now he's called Tracy. Baz: What, you found Tracy in a mirror? Maxxx: Uhh...Tracy found us. Baz: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Jason: Well, how does that make sense? Maxxx: OK, hold up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We skipped 7 steps there between making sense and Tracy found us. Start filling in the blanks here, Baz, for us. Jason: If you could connect the dots for us, that'd be great. Baz: Tracy was here, but not all of her was here; I mean, some of her left and some of it was still here in a mirror. And you found that bit, and...did you let her out of the mirror? Jason: Way more questions now. How did some of her leave? Baz: Through the front door. Jason: What front door? Baz: *yells* Well, that's the problem, isn't it? Jason: *yells* Yes, it is! Maxxx: OK, so it makes sense: she left through the front gate and then exited a mirror. Again, many dots are not connected here. Jason: Lots of question still. Baz: Look, you gotta go and see that priestess woman. If you want to understand any of this shit, I don't know, she keeps trying to tell me about the stuff. And last time she tried to explain it to me, I just lost my temper in I lamped her, and I don't think she's speaking to me now. Maxxx: Yeah, it seems pretty in-character to you. It feels like you've been talking to more than just the priestess, buddy. What was Tracy's feelings toward her? Has she any dealings with her? Baz: Well, I don't know. I get the impression...I got the feeling that she and Tracy are mates, aren't they? Maxxx: OK... Have you done...like, are you familiar with the concept of connecting dots? Baz: Like, what the fuck gives you that idea that anything here makes sense? Maxxx: No, look, we think you're an idiot. We just want to know. You're a tape recorder: what did she say? Multiple times you didn't make sense. Give me a gist. Jason: Like a direct quote. Maxxx: Take a left at the hot dog stand... Like, anything here. Give us something to work with, buddy, because I'm going to start slapping you again. Baz: You want to talk to her? I've seen her down at the petting zoo, alright? And I think she lives in the tunnel of love, but she always keeps that locked up. Yeah, I don't know. She scares me. Jason: Well, can you take us to her? Baz: Fuck no! Jason: Why the fuck not? Maxxx: OK, Baz... Baz: Because she's going to try to make me look in the mirror again! Maxxx: Baz, I've got a right mind to try and make you look in all the mirrors right now. Help us help you. You're really not working with us here, buddy. Baz: I'm not scared of you making me look in the mirror. Just her. Eoghan (Maxxx): Slap. Maxxx: Like, OK, hold up. OK, so first of all, Stabby McStabberson here, Jase, like, what do we do with him? Should we tie him up? Because for all I know, he's out here burying bodies. Jason: I don't know, man. You want to tie him up, but he stabbed you and you healed yourself and he's talking about looking in mirrors, and my last encounter with a mirror was fucked. So, like, what do you want to do? You want to kill him? Maxxx: Baz, have you got an idea? What do you think we should do? Baz: I really don't give a fuck. Scott (GM): He says. And he starts getting up to his feet and just walking over to where the the fire is burning in the dodgem car and warming his hands over it. Maxxx: I mean, fuck it. The priestess at least seems to know how to get out the front door, because Tracy got out and came back through mirror people... Like, what's the worst that happens? Jason: Well, we come back as Mirror People and then possess other people. You want to walk over to the tunnel of Love? Maxxx: OK, yeah, you make a good point. Baz, if that happens, we are mirror-haunting the fuck out of you. Jason: I will haunt your dreams. Scott (GM): You hear again that woman's voice coming out of Jason's mouth, saying, Tracy: Don't listen to them, Baz. Everything's going to be all right. Maxxx: OK, Tracy. Tracy, what the fuck's going on? Tracy: Don't listen to them, Baz. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'm going to punch Baz. Maxxx: Tracy, you need to help me here or else he's going to get punched again. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'll actually punch him. I became a real dark dude real quick, didn't I? Scott (GM): You manage to sucker-punch Baz, I won't make you roll for this, it's not really that kind of fight. And he sort of staggers backwards and just looks at you in shock and surprise. You've split his lip and there's blood running down, and you hear Tracy's voice just coming out of Jason's mouth going, Tracy: No, Baz, Baz, don't hurt him. Maxxx: Tracy, you got to tell us what you know. Who's this priestess? Why are you now inside... Tracy: What fucking priestess? Maxxx: *sighs* Oh, Jesus. Wes (Jason): Can I threaten to kill myself? Eoghan (Maxxx): Oh, god. I thought I was a loose cannon, but no. Wes (Jason): No, she's in me. Fuck her. Eoghan (Maxxx): Like, "I will end you! And me." Scott (GM): Give me an INTIMIDATE roll. Wes (Jason): Alright, well, I rolled a 91, so it doesn't really matter. I've got 20 INTIMIDATE, so I'm real fucking... *laughs* cuppycup (Kevin): PUSH the roll! Jason: I'm gonna do it! I swear I will! Scott (GM): Tracy is still wailing and and going on about Baz, and you're standing there threatening to kill yourself. And Baz is cowering back from Maxxx having thumped him in the mouth. Eoghan (Maxxx): So I just punch Jase. Scott (GM): OK, so, yeah, you punch Jason. Maxxx: Tracy, you gotta work with me here. Jason: That fucking hurt! Scott (GM): Yeah, and you hear this wailing cry of pain from this woman's voice coming out of Jason's mouth. Tracy: Save me, Baz! Save me! Scott (GM): As Baz as just launches himself towards you in a flurry of fists. Let's cut back down to where Kevin is. Eoghan (Maxxx): Jesus. I feel like I didn't help there at all. Scott (GM): *laughs* No, I don't think you did. I think you did pretty much what the opposite of helping might be. So Kevin is crawling, pushing his way through these struts deeper into the lattice. Like I said, there is this thick, ever-thicker mist that is growing around you, and the further you get in, I mean, you're probably only a foot or two in at this stage, but the further you get in, the more that you can actually see these eyes watching you, these large eyes all over the place and just in the fog. Kevin: Fuck this! cuppycup (Kevin): Is it too late to get out? Scott (GM): Yeah, you can certainly back out at the stage. I do, however, want you to make a SANITY roll as you suddenly sort of get the impression that, yeah, whatever you're in at the moment, this isn't a structure. You are inside something alive, something vast, something that is now giving you its attention. cuppycup (Kevin): And are the eyes human? Scott (GM): Oh, no. cuppycup (Kevin): *laughs* OK. A 95. That's not great. Scott (GM): Yeah...you are completely unable to deny to yourself what it is that you're inside of. You see the truth. You see the truth of where you are. You see that yes, you are not just within something, but you're within the very body of a God, and that every lie that you've told yourself about yourself, every lie that you told yourself about the way the world works, every lie you've told yourself just to put this veneer of acceptability on the horrible truth of reality is getting torn away and you're just suddenly able to see. So let's give you a SANITY roll here of...so you lose 58 points of SAN. cuppycup (Kevin): *disbelieving laugh* Wonderful. Yes. So my SANITY was 50... Scott (GM): OK! Wes (Jason): *laughs* Holy shit! Scott (GM): So with that, yes, the true nature of reality as it is comes crashing down upon Kevin's mind. As he crawls out the lattice, the world looks very different to him. Everything is just this sort of gray, pulpy mass. You can still see the flickering lights in the corridor, but the corridor itself seems to be this gray, pulpy mass. The things and the alcoves are these sort of gray, pulpy mockeries of whatever they were. But worst of all, when you look down at your hands...well. Oh, dear. So let's cut back over to J0ns3y. cuppycup (Kevin): Great. Scott (GM): This woman has led Jons3y into the Hall of Mirrors, and there are candles flickering within here as well. You can see that in the Hall of Mirrors, there are, you know, some free-standing mirrors, lots of free-standing mirrors there and mirrors up against the wall. It looks like there used to be a mirror maze here, but it's been partially dismantled. A lot of the mirrors have been taken out. And as you're looking around, you can see that in most of the mirrors, there's just this gray mist. But in a fair number of them, as you're looking around, there are these shapes, these gray, pulpy shapes just moving inside, as you saw over at the carousel, these humanoid forms pressing up against the glass, some of them just silently pounding their fists against the inside of the glass, as if trying to get out as you look around. J0ns3y: Who are those people? Where have you brought me? Ina: They're not people dear, they're not people. Don't make that mistake. They're what's left over, they're remnants, they're the fear, the worst that people have excreted and left behind here, the worst parts of themselves, the lies they told themselves, the things that were trapping them here. And what you need to do here is make one of your own. Find a mirror, an empty mirror that you like, something that speaks to you, and just look into it and tell it, tell it all the lies that are holding you here. Tell it what is angering you here. Tell it the things that are festering inside you and just let it take them. Let it take all the things that are rotting away inside you. J0ns3y: And then I'll become one of those...those things? Ina: No, no, no, you'll leave. You'll create one of those things, you will leave your psychic excrement inside the mirror and then you'll be free to go. J0ns3y: Fine. Show me what I do. Show me a mirror. Ina: Well, which mirror would you like? Choose it for yourself. Scott (GM): And you can see, yeah, there are all sorts of, you know, most of them are fairly large freestanding mirrors. Some of them are curved, making you look thinner or fatter or shorter or taller, but some of them are just straight mirrors. Joe (J0ns3y): I think J0ns3y is going to sort of edge into the room, and at first, he sort of isn't really sure and he'll sort of look at these things in the mirrors and keep very, very far away, very hesitant. And gradually he's just going to make his way through until he stands in front of one of those curved mirrors where it makes you look, like J0ns3y look, really, really small. But the mirror is really, really big in front of him. Scott (GM): Oh, yeah. Yeah, perfect. And the woman comes up behind you and just places a gentle hand on your shoulder and says, Ina: Now take hold of either side of the mirror and look into it deeply. And just tell it, tell it what you need to tell it, just whatever is burdening you, whatever is holding you here, just let it all out. Joe (J0ns3y): So he's going to approach the mirror really close and he's going to look into it and go, J0ns3y: Right, I'm J0ns3y. No, Chris Jones, and I'm here because...because I killed my little brother. Scott (GM): The woman just strokes your head gently and says: Ina: Carry on. J0ns3y: Wasn't my fault. No, it was my fault. We were by the weir, you know, where all those rocks are. It wasn't difficult. I didn't think it was difficult, I thought he'd be able to do it. He's always been so scared. I thought he should be able to do what I can do. And then he'd be able to...to stand up to people and be like a man, rather than always being scared. So I made him do it, I made him cross those stones. I didn't think he would fall, that wasn't my fault! No, that's not right. It was my fault. I should never have made him do it. And then he slipped. And I should have...I should have helped him straight away, but I didn't. I thought he'd be alright, I thought he needed to get strong like me. And then he went under, it was too late, and I went in and I tried to save him, I tried everything. And then that's when Maxxx came along and he saw me trying to help. And we got...we got Danny out, but it was too late. It was too late. And then that's when all the stories started. People thought I was the hero because I tried to save him and because I nearly died, too. And then and then we got famous, and that's how we started this Youtube channel, and I should never have done it, that's not what I wanted. Please, just just make Danny come back somehow. Scott (GM): OK. And can you give me a POWER roll? Joe (J0ns3y): That's 22 verses 60, that's a PASS. HARD SUCCESS. Scott (GM): So, as you're saying all of these things, you can feel, it's almost like the words are pulling something else out of you as well. It's not just the sound that's coming, but it's all the feelings that are coming with this, all the memories and the doubts and the fear of discovery that you felt, and just all the self-loathing is just pouring out of you like psychic vomit. You can see this this gray stuff just coming out of you, pouring into the mirror, and behind it, something is taking shape, just this gray mass, this humanoid gray shape. And as you're speaking, I mean, it's starting to smash its fists silently against the other side of the mirror, helplessly. And can you give me a SANITY roll, please? Joe (J0ns3y): That is a no. No, I got a 64 versus 60. Scott (GM): OK, well, as therapeutic as this is, there is also the realization that as all of this is coming out of you, that, yes, I mean, these are the bad bits of you, but they are bits of you, there's part of you now that is just getting ripped out of your mind, that is there now, trapped behind the glass. You can feel the loss within yourself, you're giving up something essential, something now that is trapped. You are less than you were. So let's make this SAN roll, and you lose...oh, fuck. You lose 18 points of SAN. Joe (J0ns3y): Down to 42. Scott (GM): We'll deal with the repercussions of that in a moment, but there are 2 more rolls I want you to make. First of all, can you roll 2d10? Joe (J0ns3y): 12. Scott (GM): OK, so you lose 12 points of POWER. So that represents the part of your spirit, soul, essence, whatever you want to call it, that has come out of you and formed whatever this is in the mirror. And can you also roll a d4 please? Joe (J0ns3y): A 3. Scott (GM): There is just this moment of realization in your mind that there is only truth left within you now, that just the very notion of trying to tell a lie, even the mildest white lie, is just so completely abhorrent to you that you just can barely even conceive of it. In game terms, if you want to remember this, just in case it comes up during the rest of the game, any time you tell a lie from this stage, you have to make a SAN roll. And if you fail, you lose a d6 SAN. Joe (J0ns3y): I imagine J0ns3y just like falls to his knees and just starts sobbing in I guess both cathartic relief, but also mourning for what he's lost. Scott (GM): Yeah. And the woman is still there behind you stroking your hair and says, Ina: It's painful. But any healing is you'll be stronger for this. Scott (GM): She says, and you can hear in her voice that she believes what she's saying. But maybe you're not sure you do. Joe (J0ns3y): So he sort of pushes himself up and goes, J0ns3y: Can I go now? Is that it? Ina: Yes, yes, you can go now. You're free to go wherever you want, but you're always welcome back here, in UNLAND. You're always welcome. If you know anyone else out there in the world who needs help, who's carrying a burden, bring them here and let them know about it. Find some way of bringing them to our gates. Scott (GM): And she just gestures around expansively with her hand and says, Ina: And Daoloth will do the rest. Scott (GM): So let's cut back to Maxxx and Jason. Maxxx was beating the shit out of Jason, while the voice of Tracy was pleading, and there was a bit of a fight going on with Baz. What is your goal here? What are you trying to accomplish? Eoghan (Maxxx): I guess we're trying to get any information out of the two of them about this priestess, but they either aren't willing to tell us or don't want to tell us. I think Maxxx's next thought is: Maxxx: We're not getting any information. Fuck it. Let's talk to this priestess. She might make sense of this shit show. Jason: Yeah, I agree. You can stop hitting me now. Maxxx: OK, look, I guess we're going through the Tunnel of Love and see if we can find a way out of this hellhole. Jason: Let's go. Scott (GM): So you make your way through the fog. I mean, you have seen the maps of Funland, so you can possibly try to find your way there, just if you can get your bearings. I don't think a NAVIGATE roll is really appropriate here, because this is much easier than just navigating. This is just sort of remembering which direction you're heading in. One of you can make an INTELLIGENCE roll, if you'd like, just to see whether you can remember from the map where you should be going. Wes (Jason): And we got an...damn, fuck it. An 84. But I got a shitload of LUCK or I could PUSH the roll. I'm not going to PUSH this one. cuppycup (Kevin): *whispers* PUSH the roll. Wes (Jason): No, fuck that. I'll drop 24 points of LUCK. Scott (GM): Ok, so you blunder around for a little bit, but you do eventually find your way, first of all, past this pen of a couple of goats and all these chickens, then you eventually find this fairly foul-smelling sort of canal of water, of stagnant water. There are some swan-headed gondolas that have half sunk into the water that are in horrible states of disrepair. You can see in the water itself there are rats just swimming around in there. The water is covered with scum. The building that the canal goes into is, you know, a fairly long, straight, covered building. It looks like it was whitewashed once, but the paint is peeling off. There are some flowers and cupids and stuff like that that have been painted that again have largely faded away. But there is just a sign over the booth and down at the far end that says "Tunnel of Love." Maxxx: Tracy, do you know where this priestess lady is? Thank you, Tracy. Scott (GM): There's a brief pause and she says, Tracy: Where's Baz? Maxxx: Baz is holdin' down the fort back at the campfire. Tracy: Can we go back and see him? Jason: No, we can't fucking go back and see him! Tracy: I need to talk to Baz. Maxxx: Baz didn't want to talk to you. Baz said you were real crappy for leaving him alone. He said the only way to sort it out was to talk to this priestess. Maxxx: I don't know any priestess. Maxxx: OK, look, Tracy, you sit tight. I dunno, get comfortable, I guess. We're going to talk to a priestess. We'll be right back with Baz any...day now? Minute now? I don't know how it works here. Jason: Let's go in. Scott (GM): When you say go in, there isn't an entrance as such; it looks like the way this worked was you got into the gondolas and you got pulled down the water through the Tunnel of Love. But obviously, the gondolas aren't moving. There's not an entrance as such you can see. But as you poke around, there does seem to be perhaps a service door around the side, but there is a padlock on it. Maxxx: I guess we try and get in here, right? Wes (Jason): Can we get in a gondola and see if it just starts up? Scott (GM): Oh, the gondolas are pretty much sunk. You know, they're not self-powered; it looks like they were pulled along by cables. You could potentially get in the water and swim or wade through. Wes (Jason): I kind of want to do that. Scott (GM): Or alternatively, it does look like there are, you know, thin little ledges. They're not really designed to walk on, but, you know, thin little ledges just down the edge of either side of the tunnel that you might be able to walk on. But they are covered in pigeon shit and and moss and water. They look treacherous as fuck. Jason: Oy, Maxxx, look at that. You've done much worse. You want to walk along this? Maxxx: They don't look like they're built for walking, but it looks like they're built for parkour! Jason: That's right! Maxxx: Maxxx Stylezz looking for solo styles! Jason: OK. Maxxx: Wait, hold up, what do you reckon we can break this lock? Eoghan (Maxxx): I mean, I assume we're still carrying the tripod as our only weapon. Maxxx: Why don't we just hit it like real hard with this fucking tripod. Jason: We'll give it a shot. I'm fine with that. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'm gonna try to break the lock first, though. Scott (GM): OK. By the way, as you're gearing up to do this, each of you give me a LISTEN roll. Eoghan (Maxxx): I rolled a 97. Wes (Jason): FAIL. Scott (GM): OK. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'm narrating everything I'm doing to the GoPro on my chest, just to kind of document the whole thing, on the off-chance we can make some money off this thing. Scott (GM): Considering this is completely passive, I won't do anything nasty for a FUMBLE, but yeah, you don't hear anything. You're going to go ahead and what, try to smash the lock off of the door using the tripod, are you? Eoghan (Maxxx): Yeah. So like from a 12 to 6, like swinging downward motion, trying to knock the lock off the hook of the lock, I guess. Scott (GM): OK, this is fairly sturdy, so I think I do want a STRENGTH roll. Eoghan (Maxxx): I rolled a 19. Wes (Jason): Yes, you did! Eoghan (Maxxx): That's a HARD SUCCESS. Scott (GM): So, yeah, you smash and smash a few times and then eventually, yeah, you knock the mounting off and you can get the door open that way. Maxxx: Let's check in here, see if we can turn on this ride and at least light the place up or do something. Maybe the priestess lives in here. She hardly lives in the water. Jason: Hello, Priestess? Are you in there? Maxxx: Your Grace? Scott (GM): So as J0ns3y and the woman are coming out of the Hall of Mirrors, J0ns3y is still pretty much in a fugue state at this stage, I think. Though you've just had a brush with absolute reality, at this stage at the same time, nothing feels very real. You're having this completely dissociated feeling, like nothing around you is quite what it seems, but you just can't sort of break past the veneer of lies. But as you and she come out of the Hall of Mirrors, you do hear not that far away the sound of Maxxx. First of all, there was a sort of smashing sound. And then you hear Maxxx shouting out to do something about "priestess". J0ns3y: Is that who I think that is? Ina: Do you know who that is, then? Scott (GM): The woman says. J0ns3y: Yeah. I mean, no, no, I don't...I don't think I do. I thought I did. And I thought they were my friends, but...I don't want this anymore. I don't...I don't want to do this. I don't...I don't want to be part of this. I don't want to use Danny's death anymore to launch myself into fame. No, I'm gone. This is it. I'm gone. Which way's out? Scott (GM): The woman just nods and says, Ina: You know what's best for you. Scott (GM): And she places her hand on the back of your arm and says, Ina: Remember, you're always welcome here. Joe (J0ns3y): And then J0ns3y is going to turn around and head towards the exit and before he, before he sort of goes out of sight, he just turns around and shouts, J0ns3y: Maxxx! Jase! Kevin! I hope you find what you're looking for, it's not me anymore. It's not me. Joe (J0ns3y): And he just walks out of the park. Scott (GM): OK. And yes, when J0ns3y walks off towards where the main entrance is, yeah, there is the main entrance, there is the way out of UNLAND and back into the world. Meanwhile, back at the The Tunnel of Love, you'd heard this voice just as you were breaking in. Inside, there is, obviously this is a maintenance area, there's a bit of machinery. You can smell the smells of rat piss and pigeons and mold and God only knows what else in here. You were just heading inside when you heard J0ns3y call out like that. Wes (Jason): Jason, if he heard it, is probably going to run out and look for him. Eoghan (Maxxx): I think Maxxx would as well. Scott (GM): Well then, you run back in that direction and you do see a shape in the fog before you. But, you know, this shape isn't...it isn't Jonesy. The shape that's coming towards you, there's something quite wrong with it. And so going back to Kevin's point of view, Kevin, you know, as we've determined, has hit 0 sanity. In your moment of clarity, a moment of realization, you have decided that you need to shed yourself of all artifice, that everything about the world is wrong. Unfortunately, at some point you've managed to find bits of broken mirror and the figure that's coming towards you out of the fog is human-shaped, but it is absolutely just drenched in blood, it's leaving a trail of blood behind it. And as it gets closer and moves out of the fog, you realize from the bits of broken glass in its hand that it just been systematically stripping all the skin off its own body, just skinning itself as it's been going along. As it's walking towards you, it's just peeling a large flap of skin off the side of its head. Kevin: Have you seen him? Have you learned the truth? Scott (GM): Let's have SAN rolls. Wes (Jason): OK. I rolled a 30 against a 57. Eoghan (Maxxx): 59 versus 64. Scott (GM): *laughs* Neither of you really liked Kevin that much anyway, did you? Wes (Jason): Fuck Kevin. Scott (GM): So you both lose 1 point of SAN. Eoghan (Maxxx): He seemed kind of nuts anyway. He came over from America with 43 followers on his subreddit. I mean, a couple more TV dinners and he was here. Kevin: Have you been cleansed? Jason: Well, look. I've got a shirt covered in blood. Kevin: I want to help you see him. You, you need my help. cuppycup (Kevin): And he holds the broken shard of mirror out toward him. And he keeps walking closer and closer. Jason: Alright, Kevin, you just stay back there. Maxxx: What's going on, buddy? Talk to us here. Like, did you meet your crazy dead girlfriend? Jason: Looks like y'all had a go of it. cuppycup (Kevin): I'm just walking toward them with the shard. Wes (Jason): Alright, well, I don't think Jason's having any of this. Can he take a cut at Kevin? Can I get that tripod from Maxxx and maybe try to keep Kevin away? Like, I want to give him a, like a hard shove. Eoghan (Maxxx): Go for it. Scott (GM): Yeah, I think if that's all you're doing at this moment, just temporarily keeping him at length, I don't think you need to roll for that because you're just basically holding a tripod out at arm's length and keeping it between you and him. Jason: Why don't you just stay back, Kevin, and tell us what you mean by help? Kevin: I can help you see God! Scott (GM): And you hear a woman's voice from behind you saying, Ina: You've seen him, have you? Kevin: I don't know if I saw him for sure. I think I did. I know he's here and I, I know he saw me. He saw who I am. I mean, who I really am, without my fear and corruption, without the banality of human worry, without the flesh. He was beautiful. Ina: I suppose there is beauty in truth. Not everyone sees it as beautiful. Scott (GM): The two of you can see this woman coming out of the fog from a slightly different direction. She's got long gray hair and is dressed in this sort of faded, slightly-tattered dress. Jason: Maxxx, you think that's the Priestess? Maxxx: Yeah, let's see if she can help. Maybe she can cure this guy. Scott (GM): You know, you're having this conversation in front of her, so she just joins in. Ina: Cure him of what? Maxxx: Uh, being fucked up? Jason: He's taking his skin off. Ina: Your friend has had a revelation. Maybe he has not dealt with it as most would, but this is his truth. Maxxx: Well, yeah, what do you mean, truth? I can see... Look, like I said, he was only a few steps away from this anyway, but what are you talking about? What is this truth? Ina: He has seen something wonderful, something marvelous. And this is the truth that he now perceives. Who we are to take that away from him? cuppycup (Kevin): And Kevin is more aggressively taking his own skin off. Maxxx: You said it's the truth he perceives. It's not *the* truth, so surely you'll cure him to see *the* truth. Ina: We all have our own paths to the truth, our own ways of dealing with it when we find it. Maybe this will be your truth as well. I doubt it, though. Maxxx: No, my truth's back in Edgeware in North London. Any chance you can help me get there? I need to get out of this goddamn park and leave this freaky shit behind me. Jason: What he said. Ina: You came here with your friend Jones. Is that right? Maxxx: Yeah. Yeah. Not much of a friend at the moment, though, is he? Ina: Well, he's found a truth as well. He's left. Jason: Sorry, he left? Ina: Yes. Jason: You hear that, Maxxx? He left us. Maxxx: How did he leave? We couldn't leave. He told us we couldn't leave. Ina: He left his lies here. He left the things that were holding him behind here. And the doorway was opened to him again. Maxxx: OK, so you can help us leave? Ina: Yes. Scott (GM): You can see as she's having this conversation, she's moving around towards the entrance to the Tunnel of Love, and you can see this this moment of kind of shock or irritation cross her face when she sees the door's been forced and sort of hurriedly goes over and starts trying to seal it all up again and just muttering to herself. Jason: Oh, right, we broke that. Maxxx: Oh, he broke that. Ina: I suppose I appreciate your honesty, but you must not desecrate holy sites. Maxxx: We were told the priestess was there. We're looking for the priestess to help us with our troubles. Ina: Well, that would be me. Maxxx: Baz told us you were controlling the Tunnel of Love. So we thought that was the control room. Scott (GM): She again looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment and says, Ina: Well, Baz is a very troubled man. I've been trying to help him for a long time now, but he's too consumed by fear and anger. He refuses to let go of what's holding him here. I hope that you're not going to be so silly. Are you ready to make the sacrifices you need in order to to leave this place? Jason: I just want to get the fuck out of here, yes. Maxxx: Yes, whatever we need to do. Scott (GM): In which case, she says, Ina: Come with me, then. Scott (GM): But obviously, you know, Kevin is still here in his newly-transformed state of mind. How is Kevin reacting to all of this? What's he doing? cuppycup (Kevin): He's just continued to peel every little bit of skin that he can get off his own body. And he really feels strongly that he can help Maxxx and Jason. So maybe he'll ask the priestess, Kevin: I can help them. Should I? Ina: As admirable as your intentions are, this is their sacrifice to make. You can't make it for them, but you have been touched by Daoloth, and as such, you are now blessed. I think that there is a future for you here, that perhaps you and I can work together in the glory of Daoloth and make this an even more perfect place for his will. Kevin: We are blessed. So I'll be seeing you around? Ina: Yes. cuppycup (Kevin): Then Kevin turns around and walks off, oozing a trail of blood, and stabbing at anything that looks like it belonged in his former world, the world of lies, with that glass shard. Scott (GM): Nice. OK, so, yes, Kevin disappears off into the fog. And so the two of you then following the priestess off towards the Hall of Mirrors. Are you doing anything else? Eoghan (Maxxx): Follow her, I guess. Wes (Jason): Yeah, I'm going to follow her. Scott (GM): Well, then it is almost exactly as I described with J0ns3y, and so she takes you to this entrance that is marked Hall of Mirrors and she takes you inside. And it is still, as I described earlier, that you have all these free-standing mirrors and that remains the mirror maze in there. Most of the mirrors empty, some of them still with these gray, spongy forms banging silently at the inside of the glass. And she says to you, Ina: If this is what you will, then each of you should find an unoccupied mirror and just tell it, tell it all the lies that are holding you here, all the lies that you tell yourself, all the lies you tell your friends, the lies that you tell the world. And once you have divested yourself of those, then the exit will be there for you. Jason: You want me to just go talk to a mirror? Ina: Yes, just that. Go up and hold both sides of the mirror, look deeply into it and tell it the truth, tell it your most painful truths, tell it the lies that you've been telling the world, and you'll be free. Jason: But what if something from the mirror crawled up inside me? Ina: Oh... Scott (GM): She points at one of the grey forms moving around inside the mirror and says, Ina: What, one of those got out and found its way into you? Jason: Yes. Ina: Oh, I'm so sorry, child, I am so sorry. There's no salvation for you. Don't you understand that these creatures here, these are creatures of pure lies and corruption, that you can tell your own lies, you can free yourself of all the untruths that there are and let yourself out, but you can't free yourself from someone else's lies. Those aren't yours to tell. You're forever burdened with them. Scott (GM): You can see there are tears in her eyes and she comes up and strokes her cheek and says, Ina: I'm so sorry...there is no exit for you. Wes (Jason): Alright, this really, really pisses Jason off. Scott (GM): I think actually this may be SANITY roll territory, as you suddenly realize what's happened to you. Wes (Jason): Yeah, that's totally fair. 56. How the hell did I keep sane?! Eoghan (Maxxx): You're only going to lose 8 points. Scott (GM): OK, well, you only lose 1 point of SAN because I rolled the d10 and I rolled a 1. Wes (Jason): I got fortitude, man. Scott (GM): So even with that crushing realization that you are trapped here, somehow, maybe it is because you are still able to lie to yourself about the horror of your situation, but it hasn't all come crashing down on you. Not quite. Jason: Are you telling me I'm stuck here? Scott (GM): She nods gravely. Wes (Jason): OK, so I'm going to take the tripod and try to break one of the mirrors. Scott (GM): *laughs* Are you trying to break an empty mirror or one that has got one of these grey forms? Wes (Jason): Whatever is closest, I'm pissed off. Scott (GM): Are you just smashing the one mirror, or are you going on a smashing spree? Wes (Jason): Oh, I think he's trying to get her attention, so Jason is going to just rear back and... Jason: Right. What, you think I'm stuck here? Wes (Jason): And he takes a crack at one of the mirrors with the tripod. Scott (GM): OK, yeah. You smash one of the mirrors and yeah, one of these gray forms starts crawling out of the wreckage of broken glass on the ground. The woman looks panicked and is backing away from it. Ina: What are you doing? Jason: Well, you tell me I'm stuck here! Ina: Blasphemy! Jason: Well they can climb out, why can't I climb out? Scott (GM): She's just backing away from you, her face is just contorted with anger and fear. What's Maxxx doing? Eoghan (Maxxx): Maxxx is going to grab the nearest mirror and start telling his real truth and his lies. Like real hard, like real quick. Scott (GM): OK, so this is going on in the background while, you know, this confrontation between Jason and the priestess is going on just beside you. So you may be able to pull this off. So what, while everything else is kicking off around you, is Maxxx telling the mirror? Maxxx: Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Look, this stupid channel is all my creation. J0ns3y gets all the love because he was a couple of flips, but without me, he'd be still stuck on Brighton Beach just flipping for girls to impress them. I made him famous. I made all the money. I should have this channel. I should be running this channel. I was going to get rid of him, however that was going to happen. I didn't care if he got hurt. He was going to be just gone. Him and Jason could go back to bumfuck nowhere, doing their flips and camerawork. I was going to run the channel. It was going to be Flowz Inc.. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Eoghan (Maxxx): Essentially. Scott (GM): Ohhh. Yeah, I think that sounds like enough of a harsh truth. So let's have that POWER roll off you while this is going on. Maxxx: I also pee with the toilet seat down. I'm a real bad dude. Eoghan (Maxxx): 93. Scott (GM): Yeah, maybe it's because of the distraction, maybe it's the smashing glass and the argument that's going on, maybe it's because you're not telling painful enough truths or but whatever it is at the moment, you're just shouting at a mirror. cuppycup (Kevin): What I realize it's not working, I assume that I've got it, it's not the full truth. So I'm going to continue on and going, Maxxx: I didn't care. We went to any lengths, I was going to gaslight him about his brother's death, like torment him to go crazy, whatever it was. I just wanted to break him and get him out of the scene. Scott (GM): OK, so you get to PUSH the roll. If you fail, the consequences for all of this are going to be doubled. Eoghan (Maxxx): Ooh, 16! Scott (GM): OK! Eoghan (Maxxx): That is a HARD SUCCESS. Scott (GM): Well, then, OK, so you lose some SAN, first of all. Make a SAN roll. Eoghan (Maxxx): 69 versus 63. Scott (GM): OK, so you lose 20 points of SAN. Joe (J0ns3y): *laughs* Oh, Jesus. Eoghan (Maxxx): I'm going to peel myself like an orange. Joe (J0ns3y): That was a 20 on a d20? Scott (GM): Yes. You also lose....can you roll to 2d10, please. You lose that much POW. Eoghan (Maxxx): I've lost 17 POWER, so I'm down from 65 to 48. Scott (GM): And can you roll a d4 as well, please? Eoghan (Maxxx): This is good stuff, right? A d4 of good stuff. I got a 3. Joe (J0ns3y): We've all rolled 3s on that d4. Scott (GM): So, again, you have the same consequences J0ns3y had, in that you are now completely unable to tell lies without it eating away at your psyche. Each time you tell a lie, it will be a d6 SAN loss, or at least a SAN roll with a potential d6 SAN loss. But OK, the main problem you have at the moment is you are now entering a bout of madness at the same time as shit is getting real, as it were, around you. Let's see how real things are getting. Eoghan (Maxxx): Only Scott Dorward would say ghosts going out of mirrors is real. *laughs* Scott (GM): *laughs* Oh, they're nothing so wholesome as ghosts. So yeah, this spongy gray form has forced its way out of the glass and is staggering around the room. It has three potential targets; let's see who's going to go for. Let's roll a d3. Oh shit, it's going for the priestess. Wes (Jason): Yay! Scott (GM): So, yeah, this form staggers out of the mirror and looks around. It doesn't pay any attention at all to Maxxx, who just seems to be absolutely mesmerized by whatever is going on in the mirror in front of him. He's just out of it at this stage. It looks in Jason's direction, or at least you assume it looks; it doesn't really have eyes. But then it starts staggering over towards the priestess. The priestess is just looking around in panic at the moment. She runs, tries to get past it...I'm going to make a quick roll for her. She runs past the thing and heads over towards the door, but in the process of doing so, she knocks over a couple more of the mirrors and they fall over and smash on the ground in front of you. There are now more of these things clambering out. She is legging it for the door full pelt, but, you know, one of these things has grabbed hold of her. There is another one that you can see, now that there are more that have been released by the mirrors, that are heading over in your direction. What's Jason doing? At the moment, Maxxx is just completely out of it, looking into the mirror, helpless as all this is happening. Wes (Jason): I think in a last act of desperation, to save his own soul or whatever, he grabs Maxxx and tries to get him out. Scott (GM): Ooh! OK. Then I think because Maxxx is pretty much in a fugue state at the moment, let's do this as a STRENGTH roll, just to see whether you can push him out of the fire exit before one of these things reaches him. Wes (Jason): Fucking FAIL. 88 against 65. But I think at this juncture, no, that won't even do it. Oh, no, it would do it exactly. All of my LUCK would do it. I have 23 LUCK left. Scott (GM): Oh, are you going to do that? Wes (Jason): Yeah, I'm going to totally do that. Scott (GM): Ok, so you're going to spend every last point of LUCK on saving your friend, pushing him out of the fire door as these things close in on you. Eoghan (Maxxx): Maxxx feels like a real asshole. Scott (GM): And so yeah, Maxxx, you know, just coming out of his fugue state, staggers backwards and sees the fire doors closing behind him in the mist and sees all these gray, spongy forms just closing in on Jason, grabbing hold of him and just being absorbed into his flesh. And then the doors close. Eoghan (Maxxx): I guess Maxx is gonna stand up, look down at the GoPro strapped to his chest or head, wherever he said it was - both, let's say both, multiple angles - realize what's happened. He's obviously lost a shitload of SANITY after what just happened, but is a bit more shook after realizing he was going to, like, possibly hurt his partner and J0ns3y, but more so that the guy he was definitely going to cut out of the whole scene, Jason, just saved his life, and that really affects him. And I guess he'll just reach, like run to the door and see if he can yank it open or anything. Scott (GM): It takes you a few attempts because it's a fire door, and obviously, you know, it's designed to open from the inside, it takes you a few attempts to do so. And by the time you force the doors open, you can see the priestess sitting there over in one corner, just sobbing uncontrollably. She's curled up. And Jason is lying there on the ground, just in this pool of broken glass, these fragments of glass, and his eyes are rolled up in his head, And there are just all these different voices coming out of his mouth now, all of them just in anger and confusion and just complete chaos. But none of the voices you can hear are Jason's. Eoghan (Maxxx): At that point, Maxxx slams the door and runs. Scott (GM): As Maxxx runs over towards the exit, then sure enough, as he goes over to towards the main entrance, the main entrance is there again. And yes, you can run out to the car park. Eoghan (Maxxx): He'll cross the field towards the car park and pulled out Fiat Punto keys. Scott (GM): Kevin obviously is still there within the park with his new transformed consciousness. He has this innate connection now to Daoloth, the Render of Veils, in whose body you are now living, whose body now occupies Funland, who's transformed all this place into his own image. And what you discover is that Ina, the priestess, is now unclean, that she has been tainted somehow by your companions, what they did in the hall of mirrors. She is now soiled, she is now no longer able to be the the living manifestation of truth that Daoloth requires. So she beseeches you that you take her place, that you become the new High Priest of Unland, the new High Priest of Daoloth, there to welcome those seekers who are brought in here to leave their lives behind and have the veils rent away from them. Do you accept this? cuppycup (Kevin): Of course, it's my first job in management. Wes (Jason): The skinless high priest of Daoloth, yes. cuppycup (Kevin): What a cool encounter for anyone who comes to the park. The one thing, the one piece of Kevin that's still hanging on, is waiting to see if Ellie ever walks through the gate. Scott (GM): Oh, nice. Yes. Maybe someday. Maybe someday. But Jason, you can look after Jason, perhaps. But the good news is you don't really need to look after him too much. You know, you don't need to feed him or anything like that because, you know, even when he gets hungry, even when he gets dehydrated, nothing ever dies in UNLAND. Tell me about what's going on with J0ns3y outside, then. Joe (J0ns3y): Maxxx, you'd come running out and J0ns3y is just sat on the bonnet of your car, just sort of kicking his feet, just sort of looking around, not really sure what to do. And he sees you running towards him and he just holds up one hand. J0ns3y: *weary* Alright, Maxxx, so you made it then? Maxxx: Yeah, I did. Jason saved me. He sacrificed himself. He's gone. He's...maybe he's still in there, but... He's Tracy, he's...everyone's secret is living in him, I think. J0ns3y: He was a good guy. He deserved better. He deserved better than us, but... Joe (J0ns3y): And J0ns3y pushes himself off the car. J0ns3y: New start, eh? This year has been a really shitty year, but, hey, 2020 next year. I reckon it's going to be our year. Everyone: *laughs* cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. 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