Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. NIGHT BUS, EPISODE 3: FORM FACTORS Scott (Keeper): Let's cut to Freddy, who was heading downstairs after Grace's form. cuppycup (Freddy): Mm hmm. Scott (Keeper): She seems to be moving a bit gingerly, as if she's trying to get used to new legs and just a new set of proportions. And so you catch up with her fairly easily. cuppycup (Freddy): Yeah. Scott (Keeper): They're on the ground floor. You can see the stretcher that you brought this unconscious man in. There's no sign of the man. There's just the stretcher there on the ground. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh. Scott (Keeper): And Gracie is looking around saying, Yanish: Well, where is he, then? Freddy: He musta scampered off. He didn't come upstairs, so maybe he went outside. What did he look like? Just out of curiosity, make sure we're talking about the same fella. Yanish: Oh, quite wonderfully handsome, very distinguished mustache. He's so vain about the fact that he's aging and he's losing his hair. But I don't know. I can still see the fire that burns within him, and no amount of degradation will ever change that. Freddy: You go outside, you're going to see a fire, too. Did you do something bad to him? Because he seemed a little bit tentative. Yanish: Oh, we've had our disagreements. It's quite silly, really, but I can't help but indulge him. Freddy: What is it that you intend to do here now that you're... You took over my best friend's body. Kat (Gracie): Best friend?! Yanish: I suppose I'll finish my work. Freddy: Oh, what is it you do? Yanish: I don't know what the simple way of putting it, for one who wouldn't understand would be. But I'm a seeker, a seeker after knowledge. Freddy: Oh, me too. Hmm. Do you like cinema? Yanish: Cinema? My beloved did tell me something about that. Ah, of course, yes. Are you from the waking world? Freddy: Sure. Yanish: Yes. Yes. So how did you find your way here? This is fascinating. Freddy: I thought we went through this. There was a bus and a whole thing. Yanish: So you didn't dream yourself here? Freddy: Is this a dream? Uh...ok. I feel a lot better about this now. So what do I need to do to wake up? Yanish: Show me. Show me what you came through. Freddy: I just... I have a little bit of hesitation because your husband seemed to think that you might be dangerous. I don't know why. Can't imagine. Scott (Keeper): She smiles at you even more broadly and says, Yanish: Well, if I am that dangerous, then you better indulge me. Freddy: Oh, well, I never was good at logic games. Are you a human? Do you mind if I ask questions like that? Yanish: Not anymore. Scott (Keeper): As she opens up the door and steps outside. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, she just opened it. Ok. Freddy: *gruff voice* Return to the tower. I am Saruman, sent from the waking world to contain your magic. Scott (Keeper): She looks back over her shoulder at you and laughs and says, Yanish: Oh, you are silly. Scott (Keeper): And at the same time you can hear the man's voice from up above saying, Dave: Doc, I think I'm almost ready to kill you now. Freddy: I gave it my best shot. She's gone. Danny (Jack): Can I jump through the force field toward the statue? Scott (Keeper): You absolutely can. There doesn't seem to be a barrier to you. Jack: Ok, Gracie, I think that the old man is trying to kill me, so I'm going to hide behind you. Can you fight it, since you're like a statue? You've got superpowers. You're like Iron Man, but Marble Woman. Gracie: I don't know if I have superpowers. Jack: You're a marble statue. Of course you do. cuppycup (Freddy): She's Colossus. Gracie: I feel like this is some kind of Pygmalion thing. What if it comes at me and turns me into statue ruins? Jack: Well, you're better off than I am. I'm still made of flesh. Gracie: What if you hide behind me and just... I'll pretend I'm not moving. And then every time it tries to look for you, I'll shuffle. And it will be like it can't find you. Jack: You know, that's brilliant. That's the plan. There we go. Gracie: Got it. cuppycup (Freddy): I love this plan. Scott (Keeper): By the way, now that Jack is within the circle with Gracie, you can see that the thing on the ground looks, like the ruined remains of a rat maybe. But the bones and viscera have been placed in geometric patterns, as far as you can see. It's a bit difficult to tell because at some point Gracie has stepped on it. Danny (Jack): Like it's trying to spell something? Jack: That look like anything to you? Danny (Jack): Can I make any sense of it? Does it look like a drawing or... Scott (Keeper): You can look at it, but it's never going to make any sense to you. Kat (Gracie): And I'll try and kick it around a bit more, so that it, like... *laughs* Scott (Keeper): You certainly can. Yeah. *laughs* It goes squidge and crunch. Danny (Jack): Alright. And with that, I'm going to stand behind Gracie. Scott (Keeper): Ok. Kat (Gracie): I'm going to, like, stay still. I guess it's not difficult. Scott (Keeper): Freddy is outside with this this woman. cuppycup (Freddy): I'm following her, trying to be inconspicuous about it. Scott (Keeper): She looks over at the burning remains of the bus. It's not really burning at this stage. It's smoldering. And she says, Yanish: Is that a bus, then? Freddy: It was. Yanish: I see no sign of my beloved out here. Oh, well, I suppose he must have woken up. He'll be back soon enough, I'm sure. I do hate it when he does that. Freddy: I'm going to regret asking this, but is there something I can help you do? Yanish: Hmm. Freddy: I feel really aimless right now. Like, I have no idea what the fuck I was brought here for, but I've never really been chosen for anything, so it's kind of exciting and scary at the same time. Kat (Gracie): Oh, Freddy. Yanish: You could tell me more about how you came here. I'm interested in that. Because you're saying that that vehicle...am I right in saying that's a vehicle? Freddy: Yes. Very good. Yanish: It brought you here from the waking world. Is it meant to do that? Is it meant to travel between worlds? Freddy: No, I was just trying to take the bus home from work. I'm a security guard. Maybe you could use a security guard. I don't know. I'm just trying to make the best of my situation here. Yanish: Yes, yes. No, that's...that's good. So I think... I think that must have been my doing, huh? I was just trying to get out of that silly prison. Freddy: Oh no... Yanish: That my beloved put me in upstairs and I thought I'd found a way to do that. But it's so difficult to cast reliable magic when you're within a prison like that. Freddy: And we found the same issue on the bus. Yes. Yanish: You are a sorcerer as well? Freddy: Well, there was this... I don't know how to explain it to someone who doesn't know vacuum cleaners, but there was a...kind of a tornado, do you know tornadoes? Of light that came on to our bus. And I tried to use what you might call magic. It was more quick witted, I would say, trying to test the energy field with, oh, another object. Yanish: Oh, you met one of my little pets. Ha! Scott (Keeper): She looks behind you for a moment and says, Yanish: Something like that? Scott (Keeper): And you can see that there's one of these blue balls of light that's just moved out of the doorway and is moving down towards the ruins. Freddy: Oh, yes, like that. Can you protect me from those? They don't seem to like people like me. Yanish: Oh, no. They're designed to kill anyone who doesn't belong here. Freddy: Oh, well, now that we've talked and you know I belong here, can you put in a good word? Yanish: Hmm. I could. Freddy: Oh, I know what would be fun. This would be so fun and it would be a really good test of your magic. What if you opened a portal for us again, like you did for the bus to come through? And then we could just mind our own business and scamper back out to Penge or wherever the fuck we're from. Yanish: Yes, I suppose you are connected to the waking world, and that's something that hadn't even occurred to me before. Yes, I could almost certainly do that. It would require a great deal of energy, though. Freddy: Well, you look refreshed in your new body. I have a lot of confidence in you. Yanish: I know. You see, the problem with the sorcery that I've learned is while it is effective, it does come with some fairly steep prices. Freddy: I'm a security guard. I don't... I probably can't afford this. Yanish: No, I think any person can afford the price that I speak of at least once. Freddy: Ok. Do you mind if I go back and get my friends? Yanish: Well, yes. Perhaps if you can decide which one of them would be willing to pay the price, I can arrange for any survivors to find their way home. Freddy: Oh. Does this work with people who are dead already? Because we have some of those on the bus. Yanish: No. Scott (Keeper): You can see that the ball of bluish light is moving through the rubble. There's more and more of the stones and fragments that are just coming up off the ground that are swirling around it faster and faster and faster. Freddy: Ok. Can you stop that while we have this discussion? It's very distracting. I'm trying to think. Yanish: Well, tell you what, I'll have a little talk with my new pet here. Why don't you go and talk to your friends and find out who would be willing to, shall we say, pave the way back to the waking world for you? Freddy: Does it have to be death? Can we, like, give up TV for a week or something? Scott (Keeper): She looks at you with a bright smile and a twinkle in her eyes and says, Yanish: It always has to be death. Freddy: Yes, I'm familiar with...whoever put this world together. How long do I have to make this decision with my team's input? Yanish: Well, I imagine my little pet here will want to go and kill you quite quickly, so I wouldn't wait too long. Freddy: Well, I have an idea. There was a guy trapped in a ball of light in the tower. Could we humanize that? And then maybe he can volunteer. It seemed like he already had an eye situation. Scott (Keeper): She points at the ball of light that is picking up all the fragments of rock. Yanish: You mean him? Freddy: I don't know. I think it was a different one. It was trying to kill my other friend, Jack. Scott (Keeper): It does look like the same one. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, it does? Scott (Keeper): Yeah. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, that's good news for Danny, then. Danny (Jack): *sigh of relief* Freddy: Ok, yeah, it's that one. Can we maybe turn that into a human? And, you know, I don't know how many of these pets you have, but back in the waking world, putting a pet down is difficult, and it's something we'll need to talk through. But it's a little better than putting down a person, if you understand. Yanish: Not even remotely. Freddy: Ok. Yes. Well, let me go get my friends. They are a little more highly educated and have better street smarts as well. Yanish: Oh, be quick. cuppycup (Freddy): Ok... cuppycup (Freddy): I'm going to run to the tower. Danny (Jack): When you get up there, Jack is literally just, like, still hiding behind Gracie, whatever position Gracie is in. cuppycup (Freddy): *laughs* Yeah. Kat (Gracie): I have a question about my body. My new body. Scott (Keeper): *amused* Yes? Kat (Gracie): Does it feel particularly powerful? Scott (Keeper): I mean, you are basically like a ton of stone at the moment. So you reckon you're, I guess, fairly strong. Kat (Gracie): Just keep that in mind. Scott (Keeper): It's really difficult to tell at the moment. Kat (Gracie): Yeah. No, that's fair. Just want to make sure I am aware that I am very strong. Just in case someone wants to sacrifice me. cuppycup (Freddy): Did I hear that in character going up the stairs? Kat (Gracie): That was an internal moment. *laughs* Scott (Keeper): But yes. Yeah. You make your way up to the top floor. And sure enough, you can see this marble statue of a woman with empty eyes and just peeking around from the back of it, Jack. Gracie: Freddy, what did she say? She out of my body yet? Freddy: Have we met? Gracie: It's me, Gracie. Jack: It switched bodies with Freddy now, too! Gracie: What?! Jack: Freddy, it's us. It's Jack and Gracie. Freddy: Freddy. What an interesting name. Jack: No, we're too late! Gracie: That's alright. It's alright. Freddy, or person who is Freddy, why don't you come over here and we can talk about it? Freddy: I will help you escape from this world. Is that what you would like? Gracie: Yeah! Freddy: Ok. Gracie: I'd also like my body back. Jack: You sure? Gracie: Yeah. Freddy: I've received instructions from the Great Sorceress, and we need to go outside. All three of us. And one of us will be chosen. Gracie: I can't go outside. Look. Kat (Gracie): And I'm going to walk up to the barrier and put my hands on it. Freddy: Actually, on second thought, I can't be chosen because I'm not a human. Well, but one of you will be chosen. And you will create the portal opening and the other one of you can step through. It might be too late for your friend Freddy, I'm afraid. Kat (Gracie): Can I look at Jack and just be like, Gracie: What is this bullshit he's talking about? Jack: You've made this up. I don't believe you. You're still Freddy, aren't you? You're just trying to get away with all that shit you pulled earlier and pretend that you're...you're an alien or something. Now, we're not going to fall for that. Gracie: Yeah, One of us is actually something completely different. You, on the other hand, are still a twat. Freddy: This Freddy you speak of...what are these atrocities he committed? Because when we were switching bodies, I got a glimpse into his mind, and it seemed like the nurse he was with, who I don't see presently, pushed this woman down into the bus and got her killed. Jack: Who did you switch bodies with? Freddy: Yes. You called him Freddy, I believe. Jack: What's your original body? Freddy: We choose the most contaminated human forms to populate in order. So congratulations to you, sir. I believe you're the chosen one. If you'll just follow me. Gracie: I'll tell you what, Freddy, why don't you come over here, right? And we can rock, paper, scissors it. Jack: That's a great idea. Freddy: Please call me Wormtongue. Gracie: Wormtongue, why don't you come over here and we'll rock, paper, scissors it. Freddy: I thought I explained that I cannot be sacrificed. Oh, I mean, I cannot be the one to open the portal. Gracie: Oh, sacrificed, is it?! Sacrifice, Jack, he's saying. Jack: Now his intentions are clear. Gracie: You know what, Freddy? You are an absolute asshole. Freddy: I cannot be responsible for the actions of this Freddy. All I can tell you is that I can help you return to...are you from the waking world? Jack: Like we haven't got time for this...Whatevershow you're referencing, Freddy. Freddy: You're absolutely right. We don't have time for this. Can we bring your statue friend downstairs, perhaps, and talk this through? Gracie: I'm stuck up here, so unless you get the forcefield down, no. So either you bring your sorceress friend up here with my body... Freddy: Yes. Gracie: ...And we can have a chat. Or you can come over here so I can slap you. Freddy: I'll ask her if she can come up here. I think what we need to do now is decide which of the two of you is going to volunteer as tribute. Gracie: Oh, I know who's just volunteered as tribute. Freddy: So that the other one of you can return. Look, Freddy's dead. Forget about Freddy. Jack: Well, whoever you are, I'm not going anywhere without Gracie, alright? So I'm staying right here, and you can be sacrificed or whatever. Freddy: Well, I think both of you are going to die if you want to do that. Are you sure you don't want to flip a coin? Jack: Why aren't you included in this? Freddy: I am Wormtongue. I am not a human. Gracie: You got that from Lord of the Bloody Rings. We all know what happens when Wormtongue stabs Saruman on top of a tower, right? And then Saruman falls down and is, like, impaled on a big wheel and Gandalf's all like, Oh, shit. And the hobbits are all like, Oh, shit. Ok? We know Wormtongue, Freddy. Freddy: Are you seriously telling me you've read fucking Lord of the Rings and you strung me along like you didn't understand the references? Gracie: It was fun! cuppycup (Freddy): I thought we were closer than that, Gracie. Gracie: Why do you think I made the white hand of Sauron reference? Clearly, you don't read the books. Have you ever read The Silmarillion? Clearly not. Jesus. Freddy: Sometimes I say read the books when I watched part of the movie. Gracie: D'you know what, Freddy? Some of us can actually speak Elvish. And you know what I'm saying to you? Namarie. Namarie, Freddy. Go away. Jack: That means "girl, bye." Freddy: Listen, I was trying to add some levity to a difficult situation, joking around with the two of you here, but I'm going to level with you now. Gracie: I'm a fucking marble statue, Freddy. Jack: And you're leveling with us about having to sacrifice one of us and not even including yourself in the list of options? What kind of bullshit is that, Freddy? Freddy: I don't want to be biased here, but it's obviously got to be Gracie. I'm sorry, Gracie, but you're a statue. What are you going to do, fucking hang out in Piccadilly Circus and let pigeons shit on you all day? Gracie: *calling* Sorceress! Sorceress lady! Hello? Are you down there? Hello. Jack: Maybe there's something in the books about how to get you out of here. Scott (Keeper): You hear a woman's voice shouting up from the stairs. Yanish: Yes, my dear. What is it? Freddy: Freddy would like to volunteer as tribute to get us back to the waking world. Jack: It's Freddy. He's chosen. Freddy: This is not a democracy. Gracie: It's a vote out free, and it's two against one. And also, like, can you go for the throat? Scott (Keeper): You can hear the sound of footsteps coming up. There is a bit of a pause and then you can see Gracie's body walk into the room and say, Yanish: So you've decided on this one? Scott (Keeper): She says, pointing at Freddie. Gracie: Yeah. Freddy: No, listen, this is not a vote. You should decide. We formed a kinship down there at the bus. Yanish: I suppose it is more practical as well that I kill you because you are at least outside the circle. Gracie: That is true. Yes. cuppycup (Freddy): I'm going to step into the circle. Kat (Gracie): The minute he steps into the circle, I want to lift him off the ground. Scott (Keeper): You can give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll with 2 BONUS dice. cuppycup (Freddy): 2 BONUS dice?! Scott (Keeper): Yes. Danny (Jack): She's a statue, baby. Kat (Gracie): And I can't remember... Oh, well, I don't really need to because I got under half. Scott (Keeper): What's Freddy doing about this? Is he trying to DODGE? cuppycup (Freddy): No, I'm going to try to FIGHT BACK. Scott (Keeper): Ok. So what does FIGHTING BACK look like in this case? cuppycup (Freddy): I think I'm going to try to push against the statue. And if it topples over, that's fine. Scott (Keeper): Then yeah, give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll to see whether you can do that. cuppycup (Freddy): What do I need? A 1? Scott (Keeper): You need an EXTREME SUCCESS. cuppycup (Freddy): Can I use LUCK? Kat (Gracie): Can I also use LUCK? Scott (Keeper): You both absolutely can. cuppycup (Freddy): A bidding war. Kat (Gracie): And I use 18 LUCK to get it to 1. cuppycup (Freddy): Out of principle, I'm doing theLUCK spend even though I can't win. I'm going to spend all the way down to 1. Kat (Gracie): I'm going to spend it down to 1, too. *laughs* Scott (Keeper): You can't get a CRITICAL by spending it down to 1. You can get an EXTREME. Kat (Gracie): Damnit! I can spend 9 to get mine down to an EXTREME. Scott (Keeper): Which will do the trick. So you're just picking Freddy up and holding him tight, are you? Kat (Gracie): Yeah, because I don't want to kill him because he's my ticket out. But I'm going to hold him by like the hair. Do you have hair? cuppycup (Freddy): Probably. Scott (Keeper): But yes, you are being held by something that is basically made of stone and incredibly strong. You are not going anywhere at the moment. Freddy: Gracie, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I don't know. Like some people have different senses of humor. I think Jack was into it, but, but maybe you weren't. Kat (Gracie): I look at Jack. Jack: While this has been happening, would it be possible to sneak around the Sorceress lady and get downstairs? Scott (Keeper): You find that as you reach the edge of the circle on the ground, you can't pass through it, either. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, Jesus. Gracie: Look, love, I got him still. So what is it? Do you need me to like... Jack: I can't even get out of this anymore. Can Freddy get out of this? Push him out of the circle and see if that works. Gracie: I don't think I can get you out. Kat (Gracie): I'm certainly not going to push Freddy out. I'll try and push Jack out. Scott (Keeper): It's like pushing him into a wall. There's an oof! And maybe a slight crunch as you crack a rib, as you push him into this invisible barrier. Gracie: Oh, sorry, love. Don't know me own strength yet. Jack: Ouch. Scott (Keeper): You can see your body on the other side, sust shaking its head, saying, Yanish: It's unfortunate that all three of you have managed to get in there. This is going to make things very tricky. I suppose I could always just from the efface, maybe, one of those sigils in the ground and see whether that breaks the protection. Freddy: That's a good idea. Yanish: And if I do that, you are ready to.. Jack: Sacrifice Freddy Yanish: Yes. Yes. Freddy: No, listen. Why? Gracie: Yeah, he's, he's definitely up for it. Freddy: Is that how things work where you're from, you vote and things happen? That's not how it works in the waking world. The person with the most money and power gets to decide what happens. Kat (Gracie): Can I put my finger in his mouth? cuppycup (Freddy): Are my teeth all broken now? Kat (Gracie): She's just like "shhh." *laughs* Scott (Keeper): I think at the very least you're *muffled sounds* The woman walks over towards the staircase and says, Yanish: Would you come up here, my dear? Scott (Keeper): And you can hear a rattling and clattering sound as something gets closer and closer and you can see this ball of bluish light surrounded now by all these really fast moving bits of rock. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh no. Scott (Keeper): She says, Yanish: Let's try this. Move over to the edge of the circle there and see whether you can scratch the ground. Freddy: Who's she talking to? Scott (Keeper): Not you. Yeah, you can see this thing very much like the thing that tore the man apart outside move over to the edge of the circle, and it's starting to batter the ground. All these sharp little bits of stone are thwacking away at the stone of the ground and tearing little bits out. You can see that the the sigils or whatever that are engraved in the circle all around you. Some of them are getting worn down by all this. Freddy: I think he should stop that. Scott (Keeper): Well, you're of no use to me in there, are you? Freddy: Like I said... Gracie: Well, the wall of crystals like that, like, got me in here. Surely that could get us all out? Yanish: Now you see, I built that, as you say, wall of crystals, which is, I must say, an awfully trivial name for what is a fantastically complex feat of ethereal engineering. But I did not build this. And this was my beloved's work. Bless him. Gracie: Why exactly did your beloved trap you in a statue in the middle of, like, a big circle? Jack: A fair question. Yanish: Oh, he didn't trap me in the statue. That was the form I made for myself when my original form changed. But as for why he did it? Oh, we had, shall we say, fundamental disagreements about philosophy. Freddy: It's like me and you, Gracie. Gracie: Yeah, but no. Yanish: He was a silly old fool to trap me within here. But as I said, I do still love him. I'm sure we can work past this. Gracie: Why forgive him? It sounds like you should be pissed off with him to be quite honest. I mean, it sounds like he wasn't very appreciative of your shining glory and great intellect. Yanish: He acts out of what he considers to be righteousness, and I can't condemn him that he sees the world his way. I see it mine. Kat (Gracie): And can I try CHARM? Scott (Keeper): Yeah. Kat (Gracie): I want to CHARM her! Gracie: Well, I'll just say, not like he doesn't appreciate the beautiful body that you made. And I have to say, you know, it's absolutely stunning. And you got, like, seriously good brain on ya, and I don't think you should put it all on one gent who's, like, clearly been a bit of an ass. Feel like you need to go for someone who, like, really appreciates what everything you can do, right? You know, not like... Kat (Gracie): And I'm going to shake Freddy. Gracie: ...Not like these idiots, like, you know. Freddy: No, I was very nice to her. I think that maybe I could be the next man. Gracie: No, not, not him. Like, I'm talking about someone who appreciates the philosophy and, like, how like, you know, that amazing piece of ethereal engineering that you did downstairs. You know, like, that's, like, mind blowing. Like, you need someone who's like, "Oh, God, she's a goddess." Not like, "I'll stick her in a big circle with some rat" shit. Scott (Keeper): You can see, as you mention her being a goddess, her eyes do light up at that. I'll give you a BONUS die on your roll for that one. Kat (Gracie): Luckily, Grace's CHARM is 60 and I got 10. Scott (Keeper): Yes, you can see the expression on her faces is changing its look, very detached until now, perhaps superficially polite. But now, for the first time, she actually seems to be engaged with what you're saying at this point. The last chips of stone come up off the the circle; it's almost like if you've been somewhere with a low level background noise thrumming and it stops that feeling of suddenly something that you weren't really aware of suddenly not being there anymore. It's like that in the room as the the barrier that stopping you just dies. Yanish: That will be enough. Don't harm them for the moment. But come back. Come back. Scott (Keeper): And she says, Yanish: You. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name before. They were calling me Gracie before. Is that your name? Gracie: Yeah. Gracie. Scott (Keeper): I'm sorry. I'm being very rude. My name is Yanish Thrain. Why don't the two of us go and talk outside for a little while? Leave the boys to it. And perhaps I want to hear more of your insights here. Gracie: I mean, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I would spend all of eternity chatting with, like, an amazing goddess lady. I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Right, guys, I'm only, I'm worried about dropping 'im because he was very keen on sacrificing me, and I think that's quite rude. Yanish: I don't think he can sacrifice you now that you're in that form. I think... I don't know whether you're immortal now as I am, but at the very least, I think you're beyond such concerns as sacrifice. Jack: Why are you still immortal if you're in Gracie's body? Yanish: My essence is... I imagine you could probably kill this form. But ultimately, if that is your intention, be warned. That will probably just make me angry. Freddy: Wow, Jack, that was something you said there. I think that maybe we've... Jack: Shut up, Freddy. Freddy: We've solved the problem. I think we have a volunteer, Mrs. Goddess. Jack: Let's just let them go outside and talk, and then we'll discuss things in here, right? Freddy: Oh, alright. cuppycup (Freddy): I'm going to wink at Jack. Yeah. *laughs* Kat (Gracie): Can I, like, lift Freddy a little bit higher? I don't know how long my arm is, but I'm eight foot, so as high as I can? And then drop him? Freddy: You know, Miss, if it's philosophy that you're interested in, I know a bit of philosophy myself. I believe that there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for, if you don't mind me saying. And I think that what you're doing here is good. So just get this on with and we can go home. Scott (Keeper): Yeah. Yanish Thrain has taken Gracie by one of her big stone hands and is leading her down the stairs and just looks over at Gracie and says, Yanish: I hope you won't think me rude for saying this, but your friend is an idiot. Gracie: I know, he really is. And he's not my friend. I feel like, right, if you are a goddess, right,and a queen, which you truly are, right, he's like that type of person you'd have as, like, the court jester with, like, the silly hats. cuppycup (Freddy): Wormtongue! Scott (Keeper): She basically leads you to the edge of the rocky outcrop where the stone steps are and sits down beside you there to watch the smoldering remains of the bus. Yanish: So do you think that my beloved has mistreated me? Kat (Gracie): I feel like he's definitely not appreciated what he's got. And if I was like, going out with somebody like you, I would be like, one, I'd be getting you flowers. I wouldn't be, like, messing around with no weird barriers. Two, I wouldn't be going around telling random strangers, Oh, look at this lass, oh, don't let her out. I feel like that's very controlling. That's like some serious emotional manipulation. So I feel like that's bordering on abuse. Especially if he imprisoned you. That's definitely abuse. And you should not be going out with anybody who does that to you. If you have someone going out with you, right, they should be worshiping the ground you walk on. And also, what else does the magazine say? Oh, yeah. And also, not only should they be worshiping the ground that you walk on, but they should be like saying to people like those randos in the tower, right, they should be saying, "look at this goddess. She's amazing!" And like singing your praises, not being all like, "Ooh, she's scary. Don't let her out." You know? You get what I mean. Kat (Gracie): I've gone well chav. *laughs* I can't believe that I'm giving Cosmo relationship advice to a Cthulhu entity. Scott (Keeper): She is looking very thoughtful and says, Yanish: Many of your words are strange to me, but I feel like, yes, there is some wisdom in them. Do you think then I should abandon any hope of reconciliation with my beloved and perhaps focus entirely on my own goals? Gracie: I think you need to find someone who's going to appreciate you for you and what you want to do with your life. And you shouldn't let somebody else dictate what you should do. And you should only be with somebody who loves you for who you truly are. Yanish: Yes. Yes. Who truly has the stomach for the things that I must do in pursuit of my goals and is not squeamish. Yes, I think I think you may be right. Are there many such people in the waking world? Gracie: Yeah, there are some. I mean, it's like there's like, ladies like me, like we're not very squeamish. Like, for example, I, like, work in hospital, so I've seen, like, my fair share of broken bones and innards and stuff. So, you know, I can deal with a little blood, but it's kind of like I think you'll find that the average Joe people who don't work in the medical industry, probably not so much. Kat (Gracie): *laughs* "Please don't kill me." Yanish: I think there is so much that can be done if we can find our way to your world and... Sorry, this may be a strange question, but how many souls are there in your world? Gracie: Oh, like how many people? Oh, there's like 7 billion. Yanish: *very interested* Billion? Gracie: Yes, 7 billion humans. And you know what? We reproduce like rabbits. So it's like that just goes up all the time. Oh, and I'm not even counting, like, animal souls. That's like just the humans. Yanish: Oh, no, no. It has to be humans. Gracie: Oh, right. Yes. 7 billion plus. Yanish: Wonderful. Yes. So much to work with. Kat (Gracie): Sorry, guys. *laughs* Scott (Keeper): While this is going on, ibviously Freddy and Jack were upstairs. So what are you two up to? Jack: No, obviously, that was all just a distraction, right, Freddy? You're not really planning anything like that. So let's get to it. Freddy: Jack, I'm a little disappointed that you sold me out like that, buddy. Trying to volunteer me for opening this portal. Where did you come up with that idea? Jack: I don't know if you've been funny or what, but you come in just talking about flipping the coin, and it's got to be me, not you. It was a joke, right? That's what I'm gonna take it for. Freddy: I was trying to volunteer Gracie. Not because I don't like her, but, I mean, she's a statue. Jack: Well, clearly, that's not happening. We've got to get to the bottom of this, so let's go downstairs. I think we either mess with the crystals a bit more... Freddy: Yes! Jack: ...or we look through that library and try to find something, right? Like maybe there's some sort of thing that talks about how to get rid of goddesses or sorceress or whatever. Freddy: I think we should roll the dice with the crystals. Just pick one. See what happens. Maybe one of us can inhabit Gracie's body and stop this. Jack: Well, maybe it will just switch them back. Freddy: Hadn't considered that. I'll let you pick. Just pick any crystal. Jack: Ok. You have no idea what happened to the doctor man? Freddy: Don't worry about the doctor. Yeah, he's gone. He's not in the orb room anymore. I think he's...he's running away or something. He wasn't anywhere to be found. Jack: Ok. Danny (Jack): What I really want to do is try one more time to pull out the crystal that Gracie originally pushed, if I can still find that one. Scott (Keeper): Ok. This time, I want you to give me a HARD INTELLIGENCE roll because you've been out of the room for a while, and there are a lot of crystals here. Danny (Jack): Alright. I need a 32, then. And that's a 67. So, nope. Scott (Keeper): Ok. There are at least a half dozen that are about the right color and shapes that you remember, and that's assuming that you're actually remembering the color and shape properly. You could just chance it, I suppose, and go for the one you think it is. Jack: I think it has to be... It has to be this one. Freddy: Wait a minute, Jack. Jack: What? Freddy: Have you ever seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Jack: Oh! Freddy: Pick the most unremarkable crystal. Jack: The ugliest one, right? Freddy: Yes. Jack: Yes. Danny (Jack): In that case, I choose the ugliest crystal, the blandest, the least polished, the one that refracts the least amount of light. Scott (Keeper): Then give me a d6 roll. Danny (Jack): Come on. This is for you, Gracie. cuppycup (Freddy): So if it's a 4, is it a win? Danny (Jack): It's a 4! *laughs* Scott (Keeper): Ok. So Gracie suddenly finds herself in the crystal room with her hand on one of the crystals. Your hand is looking a bit flashier than it was a moment ago, though the knuckles look a bit hairier. cuppycup (Freddy): No! Gracie: Shit. Kat (Gracie): I'm gonna look down. Gracie: Shit! Freddy: Jack. Jack. You have chosen wisely. Scott (Keeper): Do you want to give me a SAN roll? Kat (Gracie): Oh no. 85. And my SANITY is 44. Scott (Keeper): I love the fact that you could cope with suddenly becoming a marble statue, but becoming Jack? Kat (Gracie): *laughs* Too much. Scott (Keeper): You lose another 2 points of SAN. cuppycup (Freddy): Is it just perma if she becomes Freddy? Scott (Keeper): I think there is an undignified scream that comes out of Jack's mouth. Kat (Gracie): I've gone from 50 to 42, if that means anything. Scott (Keeper): If you lose another 2, you're going to go INDEFINITELY INSANE. Kat (Gracie): Can I push the crystal immediately back in? cuppycup (Freddy): Jesus Christ. Kat (Gracie): Out of shock? Like "shit!" Like, shove it. Scott (Keeper): This thing hasn't had the chance to charge up properly. So give me a LUCK roll to see whether there's enough juice left in it to do what you want. Kat (Gracie): 75. No, I guess not. Scott (Keeper): You push it back in and nothing happens. Kat (Gracie): Ok. Can I just randomly start slamming some crystals? Freddy: Jack, what the fuck are you doing, buddy? Gracie: *hysterical* I don't like this. I don't want a penis. cuppycup (Freddy): If I see Jack start pressing all the crystals, I'm going to try to pull them away from the wall. Scott (Keeper): We've established that this thing isn't charged up again yet, so you can just pull Jack away from the ball. Freddy: Jack, why are you... What's upset you, buddy? Gracie: I'm not Jack. I'm Gracie. Freddy: Gracie? Hello? Gracie: It's Gracie! I don't want to be, like, in this body. I don't mind being a giant marble thing, but I've got a beard now and a nose ring. I don't want a nose ring. Freddy: We'll fix this. We'll fix this. Tell me everything that happened. What did you feel? Gracie: Well, I was in a big marble statue, and then I was in Jack. It was like a blink. Freddy: Was it really you in there? Because that statue picked me up by the hair, and it was very uncomfortable. Gracie: Yeah, that was really me, Freddy. You were going to sacrifice me to try and get out. You're a weasel. You deserved it. Freddy: That was a trick. I was trying to trick the goddess. I'm sorry. I should have articulated the plan better. Listen, Jack was going to try to press a random crystal, and I think that doing that put you in his body. So I guess he's out there with this goddess. Scott (Keeper): I think that's the perfect point to cut over to Jack. Having just been dicking around with the crystal, you're now sitting there looking at the burning bus. You're feeling really quite stiff. And it's like all your joints have locked up. You can just see out of the corner of your eye this white marble hand and a woman's hand on the back of it. Yanish: I must thank you for the wonderful counsel you've given me. It's been too long since I've had a genuine friend. Scott (Keeper): Do you want to give me a SAN roll? Danny (Jack): Yes. Alright. I rolled a 55 out of 50. So that's a FAIL Scott (Keeper): And so you lose 3 points of SANITY. Perhaps your involuntary reaction is just to try to get up and get away from here. But let's see for a start whether you can actually control this marble statue. Can you give me a POWER roll, and make it a HARD one? Danny (Jack): Ok, so I need 25 and that is a 74. Definite FAIL. Scott (Keeper): So it's worse than that. You get up to try to get away from this situation and this body will not move. It will not react. And you hear this woman's voice beside you saying, Yanish: Is everything all right, Gracie? Jack: Sorry. I'm just really moved by what you just said. I feel the same, really, about having a friend and all. Danny (Jack): Can I try, like, moving one more time? Scott (Keeper): You can try PUSHING the roll. I think bad things are going to happen if you FAIL. Danny (Jack): I wish I could show you this. I needed 25 and I got 25. Scott (Keeper): Fantastic. There is this crunching, graunching noises. You do manage to move the arm a bit and you can start moving your head around and looking at, well, Gracie's form sitting beside you. Jack: So uh, what were we talking about planning again, right? Yanish: We were talking about our plans for the waking world. And you were telling me that the the sheer amount of raw material there that I might have to work with. Jack: Was I? Oh, ok. *mutters* Gracie. *normal voice* You know, it's true what they say about waking world and earth and all that, but have you heard of the moon? Because there's, like, all sorts of materials on the moon. Yanish: Oh, no, no, no. The creatures that live up there are most unpleasant. Well, honestly, if it weren't for the cats, I would never visit the moon at all. Jack: Cats?! You don't say. Listen, do you even know how to get back to the waking world? Maybe we should just start a friendship out here. Yanish: Well, no, not after all the promise you've told me. My beloved was very withholding of details. I knew the working world was a place of wonders. After all, it produced him. And he is quite marvelous. But he didn't tell me the raw potential that it offered. He never offered to take me there. I suppose he was always little afraid of me even before the change. Jack: Well, everyone's afraid of someone so majestic. It's natural. Yanish: But now that you've talked me into shedding myself of his limitations and concerns... Yes. I can't thank you enough. Jack: Yeah, right. What are your plans to do with me and my friends when we go back to the waking world? Yanish: Well, obviously, anyone who survives... Yes, I'm sure there will be a place for you in my new empire. Jack: Yeah. As long as me and Gr..er, Jack are included in that. Freddy, too, he's nice. But if you've got to choose one of us to get rid of, you definitely choose Freddy. We've reached a consensus there. Yanish: I don't think there's any doubt there. Yes, I think after getting to know all three of you, it was always going to be Freddy. Jack: Oh, good. Then, I mean, what have we got to do to get back? Yanish: It would have been so much simpler if I was still in that shell there, Scott (Keeper): She says, looking at you. Yanish: But I suppose if we can incapacitate Freddy, I can do the rest and open a gateway to the waking world using you, or at least using the connection that all of you have as a guide. Jack: Ok. Yanish: Yes. Well, there's no time like the present, is there? Jack: I suppose not. Scott (Keeper): And with that, shall we cut back to the other two up in the Crystal Chamber? Gracie: Right, Freddy. I feel like we need to get the body situation sorted because I do not want this. Kat (Gracie): *laughs* I'm just going to just shut out all of Jack. Freddy: I respect the sentiment, but Jack's a handsome man. I feel like it's not the right thing to do to talk bad about his body when he's not here. Kat (Gracie): Can I just push another crystal into the wall? Just as I lock eyes with Freddy, just go *shck*? Scott (Keeper): Give me a LUCK roll. We'll see whether it's charged up enough at this stage. Kat (Gracie): My LUCK rolls have been awful. No. 97. Scott (Keeper): What is your LUCK at the moment? Kat (Gracie): My LUCK at the moment is 24. Scott (Keeper): I'd say that's a FUMBLE. Kat (Gracie): *terrified* Oh God. Scott (Keeper): So all of a sudden you're really disorientated. There's something obscuring your vision. You can't quite make out what it is. And then you do realize what it is. It's lots and lots and lots of really small, sharp little bits of rock moving around you very quickly. Jack looks around at Freddy. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh fuck. Dave: What's going on? Scott (Keeper): And he looks down at his hat. Dave: Oh, God. I can feel my hands again. Oh, thank God for that. Oh, God... Freddy: Jack? Dave: I've forgotten. No, no, no, It's, it's Dave. It's Dave. I'm Dave. Who's, who's Jack? Oh, God. Freddy: Who? Who are you, Dave? Dave: I'm so glad to have hands back again. That's going to make it so much easier to kill you. Scott (Keeper): He says. Freddy: Why? What? Let's back up two steps. Scott (Keeper): Dave and Jack brings his hands up to start trying to strangle you. cuppycup (Freddy): Ok. I'm going to kick this guy's ass. Scott (Keeper): What is your DEX? cuppycup (Freddy): 40, yes. Scott (Keeper): His DEX is 50. cuppycup (Freddy): Goddamnit. Scott (Keeper): What are you doing in response to this? As his hands come up and start trying to grab at your throat. cuppycup (Freddy): I'm going to try to punch him in the nose. Scott (Keeper): Ok, so FIGHT BACK. Give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll. cuppycup (Freddy): Well, it depends what he rolls, I guess. Scott (Keeper): Apparently, I rolled a 3. cuppycup (Freddy): Well, for fuck's sake, I'll just die then, because no LUCK is going to get me there. Scott (Keeper): So yeah, you can feel the hands close around your throat. You try to punch him in the nose, but he's jerking around like a ragdoll and says, Dave: I'm sorry about this, mate. I don't know why I have to kill you, but I really do. Scott (Keeper): Take 2 hit points of DAMAGE initially. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, ok. Scott (Keeper): But he still got his hands round your throat. You can feel things are beginning to go dark as he's cutting off the oxygen and the blood supply to your brain. cuppycup (Freddy): I'd like to knee him in the balls at the earliest opportunity. Scott (Keeper): Ok, well, let's see what Gracie is doing, first of all, because you are still upstairs by the remains of the circle, and you're hovering about three feet off the ground, surrounded by all these sharp, moving bits of stone. Kat (Gracie): Well, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder, I'm not gonna lie. So I'm going to go try and float down the stairs. Scott (Keeper): It takes you a moment to work out how to do that. But it does seem to be as simple as you decide you want to go somewhere and you just float there. Kat (Gracie): I'm going to float back to the Sorceress lady because... Scott (Keeper): Well, you float downstairs, and as you go down to the next level, through the whirling bits of stone around you, you can see Jack strangling Freddy. Gracie: Alright, Jack, you carry on. I'm just going to go and see what's happened to the sorcerer. Oh, yeah, and good luck. cuppycup (Freddy): *amused* Jesus. cuppycup (Freddy): Is there any way I can get my voice out? Freddy: *strangled voice* It's not Jack. Not Jack. Gracie: Alright. Kat (Gracie): I just carry on down the steps. cuppycup (Freddy): And it's a means to an end. Scott (Keeper): The ball of light and stone floats back down the stairs. Meanwhile, outside with Jack and Yanish Thrain, she's starting to lead you back in towards the tower. And as you go in, you can see this ball of light and stone floating down the stairs towards the ground floor. Gracie: Alright Yanish, I seem to have accidentally teleported from there to there to there. Scott (Keeper): She looks at you, her eyes narrowing and says, Yanish: Gracie? Is that you? Gracie: Yeah. You were about to tell me something real nice. And then suddenly I blinked and I was like, upstairs. Scott (Keeper): And she turns and looks around at the stone statue and says, Yanish: Then who are you? Jack: I'm Jack. But I'm really good friends with Gracie. We're like, best friends. So if you like Gracie, you've gotta like, me. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh God. *laughs* Is there a social roll for being pathetic? Scott (Keeper): I'd accept either CHARM or FAST TALK. Danny (Jack): I have 60 CHARM. I'm going to go with that. Kat (Gracie): I would assist you, but I'm a ball of light. Therefore, I cannot offer any eyebrow raises or finger pointing at this point. Danny (Jack): 23. So that's a HARD SUCCESS. Scott (Keeper): You can see that she's stepped back. Her eyes seem to have literally darkened as she's staring at you and she's muttering something, raising a hands up. You can see energy crackling across her hands. And then she takes a deep breath and says, Yanish: Well, what do you have to say about this, Gracie? Gracie: Oh, well, I think that it's Freddy's fault, to be quite honest, because he was fiddling around with the crystals upstairs and he's currently getting strangled, just thought I'd point that out. So I think it's his fault. Once I'm back in my body, Jack's back in his body and you're back in your beautiful body, I think what we will probably find, right, is that you've got one lady who really likes you out and one gent who really likes you. So you've almost doubled, like, since your beloved, you know, was a twat. So I feel like you've kind of gone from one asshole to two great people who really quite dig you. So I'm not used to being a ball of light. But if you could be a ball of light and given you a smile, I don't know how that works. I hope you can see it. Kat (Gracie): Is that CHARM? *laughs* That is. Scott (Keeper): Yes, I think so. Kat (Gracie): 93. Can't spend. Can I PUSH it? Scott (Keeper): How would you PUSH it? Kat (Gracie): I would push it by being like, Gracie: And what I think should happen is in the waking world, maybe we could be like your concubines. Kat (Gracie): And I would like float down elegantly from the stairs in a seductive as a ball of rock and this light can be. Danny (Jack): As she does that, I'll try with my statue body to, like, kind of pose seductively. Kat (Gracie): Yeah. *laughs* Scott (Keeper): This is going to be the weirdest threesome ever. Kat (Gracie): I will rock your world. Ok, here we go, guys. This is the PUSHED roll. 48, which is under 60. Scott (Keeper): She looks thoughtful and says, Yanish: Well, yes, I suppose, then. Sorry. You said someone was strangling Freddy. Gracie: Oh, Jack's body is currently strangling Freddy. Yanish: Oh, I suppose we better stop that before he kills him. Otherwise, we may be short of a sacrifice. Gracie: Yeah. Let's go do that. Scott (Keeper): Let's cut back to Freddy, who was busy being strangled. So it's your action now. What are you doing about this whole being strangled situation? cuppycup (Freddy): I want to knee Dave in the groin of Jack's body. Scott (Keeper): Then give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll, and he is going to carry on trying to strangle you. cuppycup (Freddy): Ok. Scott (Keeper): And at this stage, because he's doing so, he only needs to make a STRENGTH roll. cuppycup (Freddy): Ok. I rolled REGULAR SUCCESS. Scott (Keeper): And I rolled a 002. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, Jesus Christ. Scott (Keeper): So that is not only beating yours, but because it's an EXTREME, it's doing the maximum amount of DAMAGE. So you can take 6 hit points there. cuppycup (Freddy): Freddy's huge, so he had a lot to start with. That's not a major wound or anything. Scott (Keeper): You are getting closer and closer to blacking out, but you are still holding this together. You can hear voices and movement coming up the stairs. So if you can hold out for one more round, you might be conscious when they get there. Alright. Dave is going to carry on trying to strangle you. What are you doing? You're trying to get out of this? cuppycup (Freddy): I don't know if this is too complex of a maneuver, Scott. Realizing that I'm not, I mean, there wasn't much there when I tried to knee Jack in the groin. It's going to be really hard to get out of this. I'd like to try to just tilt my body over and push my hand into one of the crystals. Scott (Keeper): Oh, yes. Ok, then I'll tell you what. Give me a DODGE roll to see whether you can break out this enough. A DODGE or a STRENGTH roll. cuppycup (Freddy): STRENGTH is going to be much better. Scott (Keeper): Ok. And I'll carry on trying to strangle you. Just an ORDINARY SUCCESS this time. cuppycup (Freddy): I need a HARD SUCCESS then? Is that right? Scott (Keeper): No. You just need an ORDINARY SUCCESS. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, ok. I have 70, so... Alright. 53. Scott (Keeper): Ok. So you can break loose and you're going to try to slam your hands into one of the crystals. cuppycup (Freddy): Yeah. The second least remarkable looking one. Scott (Keeper): Give me a d6 roll. cuppycup (Freddy): Ok. If it's a 4... A 2. Something new. Scott (Keeper): Oh, God. Yanish: *panicked* No! Danny (Jack): What could this be? Scott (Keeper): There is just this tearing, ripping sensation, whiplash almost, and suddenly you are watching yourself being strangled by Jack. It's happening there on the ground in front of you. And you are just watching all this happen. cuppycup (Freddy): Cool. Scott (Keeper): You can't really move. cuppycup (Freddy): Do I have a body? Scott (Keeper): Not that you can feel, no. Let's have a SAN roll. Danny (Jack): You're fulfilling your destiny as a security guard and you've become a security camera. cuppycup (Freddy): This is the automation pushing me out of my job. I rolled a 50. I passed my SANITY roll. Scott (Keeper): Ok, so you don't lose any for the moment. But the other two and Yanish Thrain as they come up the stairs, the tableau that greets you is Jack, apparently strangling Freddy on the ground. Freddy is completely limp and unresponsive, and there is a bowl of blue ectoplasm, glowing ectoplasm in the center of the room just hovering next to them. And did you say Freddy was about to say something? cuppycup (Freddy): I was going to say, Freddy: Leave my body alone. Scott (Keeper): You can hear Freddy's voice coming from the bowl of glowing blue light. Jack: Curious. Scott (Keeper): Gracie and Jack are there in the room witnessing all this. So are you doing anything? Gracie: How many more times are we going to end up switching?! Jack: Well, that's a good question, because,Yanish, if we're going to go back to the earth, do you want to be in your marble body and Gracie back in her body and me be back in mind? Because if that's the case, then we've got to save Freddy so we can sacrifice him. Freddy: I'm right here. I can hear you. Gracie: Yeah. I mean, you're the goddess who built this amazing machine. I'm assuming you know how best to use it. So would you like to give someone with hands the directions? Yanish: Well, first of all, let's deal with this situation. Scott (Keeper): She says, pointing at Jack. As she does so you can hear her muttering again and her eyes go dark. All of a sudden, there is this massive blast of energy that comes off her, and Jack's form just goes sailing across the room and bounces across the floor. cuppycup (Freddy): Yes! Scott (Keeper): Assuming you do get your body back at some stage, that's going to be 9 hit points of DAMAGE to Jack. Danny (Jack): That will kill Jack. Scott (Keeper): Well, not kill him, but he's dying at the moment. It's a shame that the one person who really knows FIRST AID is surrounded by a whirling vortex of death at the moment. Kat (Gracie): I could help with surgery. Yanish: Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I seem to have over-corrected there. He's dying. There isn't much time. Help me. Let's get him upstairs before he dies completely. And I may still be able to use the the energy in his form. Quickly. Quickly. cuppycup (Freddy): Is there any way, Scott, that Freddy could attempt some kind of possibly CTHULHU MYTHOS related act to explode this ball of energy he's in or do some kind of control with it? Scott (Keeper): You do realize that you can see the other ball of energy that's floating around is surrounded by all these sharp little bits of stone, which is obviously picked up from somewhere. You don't have any of those yet. cuppycup (Freddy): Yeah. I would like some. Scott (Keeper): Go outside and get some. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh, can I move? I didn't realize I could move. Scott (Keeper): We'll deal with that in just a sec. But I think you will be able to move in a moment. But let's just deal with the others, first of all. So you're dragging the unconscious form of Jack upstairs. Danny (Jack): I'll scoop him up. Since I'm a marble giant. Yanish: We need to prepare the body in such a way that I can arrange the elements of it. Scott (Keeper): She looks over at Jack in the marble statue and says, Yanish: You will have to do this. I need you to tear this form into pieces. Jack: But that's my own body. My only body. Yanish: There is no time to waste. It is dying anyway. Gracie: I mean, I could save him if I was back in my own body. Yanish: There's no time for any of this. Danny (Jack): I look over at Orb Gracie. Jack: I guess I'm going to be a statue forever. Gracie: I'm assuming you can get us bodies when we're back in the waking world. So I say we trust her, Jack, because, you know, she's cosmic and shit. Jack: Ok, I'll do it. Scott (Keeper): Ok, well, then I think I want a really good SANITY roll here as Jack tears his body into little pieces. She gives you direction; basically, it involves ripping the viscera out, ripping the bones out of the flesh so that she can arrange them in in geometrical patterns, much like the one you saw with the rat in the circle. Danny (Jack): I got a 96. That is a FAIL. Scott (Keeper): What is your SAN at the moment? Danny (Jack): It's 44. Scott (Keeper): Yeah, I think that's got to be maximum SAN loss. And I think for dismembering your own body like this, that's got to be at least a d10 Freddy: So...10. Scott (Keeper): So, yeah, you have this moment of peace and clarity as you tear your form apart. And this seems like the most natural thing to do, this act of brutality. You're symbolically leaving your old life behind and embracing what you've become. Jack: Yeah... Yeah. No, this is good. This is good. I'm going to make a great statue. Scott (Keeper): So let's cut back to Freddy for a moment. So as the others leave the room, you can try, and after a few attempts, it's like wading through treacle at first, but you do manage to push yourself free. And if you want to run outside quickly and pick up some stones, you can. cuppycup (Freddy): Does it have to be stones? Can I get other loose objects in my... Scott (Keeper): Oh, yeah. You can certainly try. cuppycup (Freddy): I would rather just pick up things that are in the tower, like books and body parts. Whatever's lying around. Kat (Gracie): Your own body. cuppycup (Freddy): Just any loose objects I can get, I'm going to go collect them through the tower, and then I want to storm up to the area where everyone else is. I want to look more impressive by having some things in my gravitational field here. Scott (Keeper): So while Gracie is going clattery, clattery, clattery with fast moving, sharp rocks, you basically are rustling as you move with all these pages and ripped bits of paper tearing around your body. But yeah, you get up just in time to see the end of this ritual with the torn remains of Jack's body on the ground being arranged into really quite beautiful geometric forms by Yanis Thrain in Gracie's body. I do want SAN rolls also, both Gracie and Freddy, for witnessing this. Kat (Gracie): Sure. Surprised. I mean, that's probably quite gory. 63, so I FAIL. cuppycup (Freddy): I rolled a 009. Scott (Keeper): That is very on brand for Freddy. cuppycup (Freddy): This just looks cool. Kat (Gracie): If I lose 2 points of SANITY, I am INDEFINITELY INSANE. Scott (Keeper): Oh, gosh. You lose 3 points of SANITY. Kat (Gracie): Ok. I'm INDEFINITELY INSANE Scott (Keeper): Again, at least in the short term, perhaps abandoning all thought of trying to get a human form back, then. You know, perhaps this is the right form in which to serve you Yanish Thrain. Kat (Gracie): Oh, absolutely. I can be her sexy ball of light. I can wave my rocks around outside. Scott (Keeper): So, yeah, with the energy of Jack's bodies, death and the sacrifice of Dave's spirit, then she does manage to tear a hole between worlds again. And you can see the air in this chamber shifting and rippling. The first hint of it is smells of diesel smoke and old cooking and stuff like that, and rubbish coming through from Penge High Street. And yeah, you realize it is Penge High Street, because as the air shifts you can look through and you can see some cars parked and there's the church across the road and the cloudy sky overhead. Yanish Thrain looks around at the three of you, and say, Yanish: Is this it? Is this the realm you came from? Jack: Oh, yes, my goddess. This is it. Freddy: Could you go back and get my body? Yanish: No. Scott (Keeper): She says, and steps through the hole. Kat (Gracie): I'm going to follow my lady as a ball of light. cuppycup (Freddy): Are we still in the room where she did this ritual thing? Scott (Keeper): Yeah, up on the top floor. But also, you're in Penge at the same time. cuppycup (Freddy): Right. I mean, I don't know if it would be useful at all at this point. Although useful might not be the right word. My inclination is to pick up the bones of Jack in my gravitational field. If I can do that. Scott (Keeper): Oh, sure. Yeah, you can do that. cuppycup (Freddy): I'm just trying to accumulate, if I can. And after I do that, if the portal is still open, I'll go through. Scott (Keeper): The portal is open. It's only for about a minute. But that is enough time for you to pick up these bits of bone and gore. So there, it's still the middle of the night on Penge High Street as you step through and the streets are quiet. It's still a cloudy night, but you are there standing in the middle of the road. There's these two balls of blue light, one surrounded by rocks and the other surrounded by bits of torn up book and meat and bones and viscera slopping around it, quickly spraying blood, and this eight foot tall marble statue. Gracie's form stands there, looks around with this huge grin on her face and says, Yanish: Yes, you were right, Gracie. Yes, I can feel them. I can feel them all around me. So many souls. There is so much to work with here. This is truly a world I can make my own. Thank you. You have served me well and you will carry on serving me. Yes. Gracie: Of course, love. Like I said, you're a goddess. Yanish: Not yet. Scott (Keeper): She says, smiling broadly. Yanish: But I will be, thanks to you. Kat (Gracie): Oh, I fucked up. cuppycup (Freddy): Oh shit. Scott (Keeper): And with that, apparently, with your willing help, Yanis Thrain embarks upon her campaign to remake the world in her image. But at least she likes the three of you. Or at least two of you. And she'll tolerate Freddy. cuppycup (Freddy): Yeah, but I look really cool with all the meat and bones and books. Danny (Jack): Don't forget the books. Scott (Keeper): But yes, it does take a long, long time for her to remake the world. And there is an awful lot of blood and pain and suffering in the process, but...yeah. These things take sacrifices. If you did enjoy this scenario, you can find it in issue 8 of the Blasphemous Tome. This is the fanzine that we do for the listeners of the Good Friends of Jackson Elias podcast. cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!