Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

OF SORROW AND CLAY, EPISODE 1: TAKE ME HOME

cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care.

Pistol: I got it! Taft residence.

Jack: Hello. I need to speak with Lorelei.

Lorelei: Nairns! We are Nairns!

Pistol: Um. In regards to?

Jack: Oh, was that her? I had to walk into town, and I'm old. You put her on the telephone. Tell her it's Jack, from up in the holler.

Pistol: Oh, I heard about you. Pa said you and him used to run together. Moonshinin.

Jack: Who's this, Pistol? Oh, you sound all grown up. Hey, your father said Eugene was keeping you safe. Said we'd be a bad influence. Sounds like he was right.

Pistol: Eugene? *derisive laugh* Yeah. Real stand up guy.

Eugene: Who the hell are you talking about, boy?

Pistol: It's...Hey!

Lorelei: Who is this?

Jack: It's Jack, girl. It's your father. He's missing.

('FOR ALL MY SINS' BY MARCO CINELLI PLAYS)
♪ FOR ALL MY SINS, GOD DENIES ME TO HEAVEN
♪ ON JUDGMENT DAY, MAMA WON'T YOU CRY?
♪ 'CAUSE IF THERE WILL BE JUSTICE IN HEAVEN
♪ DRY YOUR TEARS MAMA, 'CAUSE I'LL BE FINE
♪ I WAS BORN IN A SHACK MADE OF MUD AND WOOD
♪ TWENTY OTHER PEOPLE HANGING FROM ONE SPOON
♪ THERE WAS NO WATER AND THE MONEY WAS RARE
♪ AND TIMES WERE HARD EVEN TO SAY A PRAYER
♪ FOR ALL MY SINS, GOD DENIES ME TO HEAVEN
♪ ON JUDGMENT DAY, MAMA WON'T YOU CRY?
♪ 'CAUSE IF THERE WILL BE JUSTICE IN HEAVEN
♪ DRY YOUR TEARS MAMA, 'CAUSE I'LL BE FINE

cuppycup (Keeper): The smell of pine needles grinding up underneath your truck is taking you back to your childhood. Through the cracked windshield, you see the shack still ringed with your father's rusted collection of oddities piled up in the knee-high grass like forgotten offerings to this old place. The old bastard said he'd clear all these things out, but of course he never did.

Blair: I'm driving.

Lorelei:  Like hell you are.

Blair: Move over. Give me the keys.

Lorelei: Over my dead body.

Becca (Blair): I pull out a shotgun. *laughs*

Faith: *mutters* Jesus.

Danny (Pistol): Pistol is definitely staying out of this. He's been through this many times.

Cam (Faith): Never mess with a girl with a lot of sisters. Fact.

Pistol: I'm sitting shotgun, though.

cuppycup (Keeper): Maybe you took turns driving to keep the peace, but none of that matters now, as the truck rolls up to the shack. There's an eerie quiet when you cut the engine.

Blair: I've never seen it this quiet here.

Lorelei: Pa's probably dead drunk. He's not going to answer you.

Blair:  Dead drunk for four days?

Faith: It is Pa.

Lorelei: Yeah. He went on a bender for two weeks after Ma died.

Blair: Alright. Well, that, that *sputters* Well, Lorelai, I've had just about enough of you now.

cuppycup (Keeper): All you Tafts grew up in this place, and it's always served as an enduring sanctuary for the family, even if it isn't much to look at. If nothing else, it's a place to call home. The rough-hewn timbers of the walls are capped by a silvered wooden roof. A familiar stain runs down one side from the wood burner pipe that protrudes skyward. The rusted steel catches a tuneless whistle of the wind that always makes you shiver. It's all so familiar, like you were here yesterday. The only thing missing from this memory is the old man. He's usually hollering about some damn thing or another, and he's been gone for four days now. At least as his neighbor Jack tells it to Lorelei. But you're still half expecting the old man to stumble out the front door at any moment. Instead, it bangs gently in the ill-fitting frame.

Becca (Blair): I get out of the car and run in the open door.

Danny (Pistol): I follow.

Rina (Lorelei): I'm going, shaking my head the whole way.

Cam (Faith): I'm moseying after them. I'm not too worried.

cuppycup (Keeper): Blair leads the way into the shack with Pistol close behind. Lorelai and Faith are picking up the rear. The subtle smell of spoiled milk creeps up behind the choking dust that's swirling in the air. The main room is lined with sun-faded newspaper. Dusty salvaged windows are the only source of light. Their lintels are lined with lucky objects that your father recovered over the decades. In the middle of the room sits the family table where you Tafts have fought, cried and laughed together. Your father's hunting rifle rests on the tabletop next to a single bullet and an empty bottle reeking of moonshine.

Blair: Smells worse than usual in here.

Faith: Can Pa really not be bothered to do his dishes these days?

Lorelei: Did he ever?

cuppycup (Keeper): A rusting wood fireplace in a stove fills the back corner of the room, flanked by two well-worn chairs. And those are surrounded by stacks of split wood, twisted up newspaper and moldy unwashed pans. There's also a rickety door to your father's bedroom, which is closed.

Becca (Blair): I stare at the door and what runs through Blair's head is that smell. The worst possible thing that it could possibly be is his body behind that door. I just look at it and I don't go towards it.

Lorelei: Well, it's most likely he's in there. Probably just passed out.

Rina (Lorelei): I'm going to open the door.

Blair: Faith and Pistol, cover your eyes.

Faith: Seriously? We are not your children, Lorelai, as much as you'd like to think so.

Blair: I'm sorry, but my name is Blair.

Faith: Blair. 

Blair: Have I been gone so long you can't even remember my name?

Faith: I misspoke.

Lorelei: That just tells you who did all the real work around here.

Blair: Lorelai, can we deal with the matter at hand?

cuppycup (Keeper): All of you are going to see Lorelai crack open the door and walk into the bedroom. The pungent smell of filth and illness pushes past you, Lorelei, as blue-green blue flies make their escape. These fat flies have clearly gorged on the room's contents, which include sweat-stained bedsheets crumpled on the floor and a crusty chamber pot that's been pushed aside overturned. Its contents are mingling with a dropped meal and spilled milk.

Faith: *noise of disgust* So gross.

cuppycup (Keeper): Among the sheets, there's a box.

Lorelei: Y'all can uncover your eyes now.

Faith: We never covered them. We're adults. Jesus.

Pistol: I mean, I didn't. I was looking the whole time. I started to cover my eyes. And then I needed to know.

Blair: Pistol, are you ever going to listen to me? What if it had been his body in there, Pistol?

Pistol: Well, it ain't, is it?

Blair: Not this time.

Lorelei: I'm already looking at this here box. Don't know what you all are doing, standing around fussing in the doorway.

cuppycup (Keeper): The box is twisted up in the sheets. When Lorelei picks it up, a photo falls and lands face up on the floor. It's a photo from your wedding to Eugene.

Lorelei: Oh, I didn't know he kept this.

Faith: What's in the box, big sister?

Lorelei: Got my wedding picture. Better times back then.

cuppycup (Keeper): There are other knickknacks and photos in the box and several handkerchiefs. You know he always has one at the ready.

Becca (Blair): Can I take a moment to look around the room and check maybe wherever he keeps his clothes, maybe a dresser or closet?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sure. He has a broken wardrobe in the corner.

Becca (Blair): I rush to it. I'm hasty. I pull the drawers out. I'm ripping through stuff to make sure his favorite shirt. He wouldn't leave home without his favorite shirt.

cuppycup (Keeper): He didn't take much. That's clear. His favorite boots are still here.

Becca (Blair): I hold them up and I look around at the other three.

Pistol: Oh, that's not good. Yeah, Pa would never leave without those.

Faith: No way. No way.

Lorelei: If he was drinking, he might not have thought of it.

Pistol: Naw, even when he was nearly passed out, he always had those boots on.

Becca (Blair): Something's happened to Dad. Something bad.

Danny (Pistol): You know, I'm going to take Pa's lucky boots from the house so that when we find him, I can give them to him.

Lorelei: Well, why do you think he was putting all these mementos in a box?

Pistol: I didn't take him to be quite so sentimental.

Blair: Hmm. So what we know, he's not here. He hasn't been seen. He's not wearing boots. Do you think somebody took him?

Pistol: Shit.

Faith: Did he owe somebody money?

Blair: He owes a lot of people money.

Pistol: Maybe someone finally figured out that he's making all that moonshine.

Blair: Yeah. Speaking of the moonshine business, how's that going, Pistol?

Pistol: It's fine, alright? I mean, it's been a little slow, but...

Blair: Why can't you just get a regular job at the mines?

Pistol: Because I ain't good at that.

Faith: Have you even tried?

Pistol: You know, you never give me credit for being as smart as I am. This is hard work too alright? And I'm good at it. I run the numbers, I'm...

Faith: Well, if you're smart, you can come to school with me.

Pistol: You know I didn't go to school because we couldn't afford it.

Faith: Well, if you got a real job, you could.

Lorelei: This is hardly the time or the place to be arguing about schooling.

Blair: Lorelei has got a point there.

Pistol: Thank you, Lorelei.

Faith: Fair.

Blair: I need some air. I'm gonna step outside. Smells like hell in here.

Becca (Blair): I'll grab that hunting rifle on the table with the one bullet.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, you can do that, no problem.

Rina (Lorelei): I'm fighting the urge to clean things, just standing there with my hands on my hip, shaking my head.

Lorelei: Pa always did need a woman to look after him.

Rina (Lorelei): And I'll do one more look around the main room of the shack to see if there's anything else we might have overlooked.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. I'll ask for a SPOT HIDDEN from Lorelei.

Rina (Lorelei): Ok. EXTREME SUCCESS. 13 under 75.

cuppycup (Keeper): You notice a couple of things as you walk out of the bedroom scanning for cleaning supplies. In the faded newspaper that was spread along the walls, you can tell that one section isn't as faded and yellowed, which might indicate someone recently removed a layer. On a closer look at that area, you find an article about the search for Sadie Taft. You know she was your father's first wife and you know that she was never found. The article details the search.

Becca (Blair): Are any of us Sadie's children?

cuppycup (Keeper): No. You're Annabel's children. On that EXTREME SUCCESS, you'll notice that the door to the cast-iron oven is open and you spot the corner of a charred letter sticking out of the ashes.

Rina (Lorelei): I'm going to get down on a knee and try and pull it out gently without damaging it. Had to do this before when Faith tried to burn her homework a few times.

cuppycup (Keeper): "To Mr. Carson Taft. We regret to inform you..." And the rest is burnt away.

Rina (Lorelei): I'll go out to Blair.

Lorelei: Someone was writing Pa letters.

Blair: Now, who in the hell would want to write Pa letter? I think they were going to get something back.

Lorelei: No, there's something like "we regret to inform you." It sounds like he was... Sounds like one of those death letters.

Blair: Let me see that. Someone died?

Lorelei: We ain't got no living relatives I know of.

cuppycup (Keeper): Your pa is 89 years old and you lot are all he's got. Your mother, Anabelle, passed away and you know she's buried out back. Pa's lonely and you don't visit enough.

Danny (Pistol): Cuppy, would Pistol know of any secret room where Pa would hide his moonshine?

cuppycup (Keeper): You know there's a loose floorboard and Pa keeps a stash under there.

Danny (Pistol): I'm going to pry open that board.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, he's done this so many times that it's easy enough to pull up with your bare hands. You find two bottles of moonshine down there.

Danny (Pistol): And it's not like a large enough space that anyone could hide in or anything like that?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's not that big, no.

Danny (Pistol): Ok.

cuppycup (Keeper): He was keeping something else down here, maybe cheese. Gosh, it might smell worse than the bedroom.

Pistol: *disgusted* Oh, what is that?

Danny (Pistol): I'm going to open up the window.

cuppycup (Keeper): And you see someone slink through the back yard and behind the outhouse.

Danny (Pistol): I'll run out toward the back.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pistol darts right by Blair and Lorelei, who were already outside.

Becca (Blair): Following our boy Pistol.

Lorelei: Pistol, slow down! You're going to break an ankle.

Pistol: Pa? Pa?

Cam (Faith): Yeah. I run out after him, too.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're all going to find your father's neighbor, Jack, hovering by the outhouse. He has whispers of blue veins and liver spots that are kind of vying for dominance on his almost translucent skin. He's very fragile, looking very wrinkled.

Blair: Jack, don't be shitting in our outhouse. You've got your own.

Jack: Oh. Oh, you're finally here. Finally.

Lorelei: Alright, Jack. How long has he been gone?

Jack: Oh, must be four or five days now. He knows these woods, and they know him. But I'm worried. But look here now! You kids are all grown up. You make me feel my age. *coughs*

Lorelei: We ain't kids no more, Jack.

Jack: Have any of you heard from the old bastard?

Blair: Well, no, Jack. That's why we all jumped in the truck as fast as we could. Do you know any bad news he might have gotten recently?

Jack: Bad news? No, I don't really do. But he's been chewing on some decision or other. Having a hard time lately.

Faith: A hard time? What do you mean, a hard time?

Jack: He's been bringing up Sadie again. You know, his first wife. It's never good when he starts down that road of rumination.

Lorelei: Why is he talking about her? She disappeared eons ago.

Jack: Oh, you know, they used to fight like cats and dogs, but I don't know why she's come up again. It's been half a damn century, you know.

Faith: No, we don't know. Tell us about this woman. We don't know anything about her.

Pistol: Yeah, he never talked about her, ever.

Jack: Oh, not much to talk about. It feels like another lifetime. It was a big hubbub. All the churches got involved, searching these here woods for her. I don't know. They found nothing, and people started to talk, rumors and such. It took a long time for those to die down here. Folks say a witch took her. Can you believe that?

Faith: *laughs in disbelief* A witch? 

Blair: I'm the closest thing to a witch that's ever lived in these parts.

Faith: That's true.

Jack: Fairy tales. You know, things we tell kids to make them go to bed. Are we searching for your father? Because I'm ready to go. *coughs* Excuse me.

Lorelei: Jack?

Jack:  What?

Lorelei: Did Pa start looking for Sadie after all these years? He never talked about her when we was kids. Even after Ma died, he never said anything. Why would he start now? Did he hear something? Did he... Did he get some news? Do you know anything about what made him start looking now?

Jack: Oh, he's getting on in years. He's changed over the last couple of them. You'd have noticed if you'd visited. Maybe he's sentimental.

Pistol: Is that a subtle dig at us, Jack?

Lorelei: Sentimental ain't a word we ever associated with Pa.

Faith: No, he's not the sentimental type.

Blair: Well, now, hold on. Maybe not outwardly, but he does keep your wedding photo in that box, Lorelai. That means something.

Jack: I don't know why he's obsessed with Sadie, but maybe he went off into the stills. I'll show you the way. I've got nothing better to do. No, I was afraid to go out on my own. You may not have noticed, but I'm getting up there in years myself.

Lorelei: You're spry as a grasshopper, Jack.

Danny (Pistol): I'm going to walk up to Faith quietly and just say,

Pistol: Hey, sis. Remember that story I told you when I was picking up those kegs to take to Baxter? And I thought I saw, like, something in the forest watching me?

Faith: Yeah. And I told you you was drunk.

Pistol: I was, alright? But I'm just getting that weird feeling again. Like, maybe it wasn't the booze. I don't know. I don't know. Just getting a feeling.

Faith: Alright. Keep your eyes open, then.

cuppycup (Keeper): Someone is walking up the way you drove in, Lorelai. You'll recognize Nora from the clinic.

Faith: Hey, who's that woman over there? Coming up the drive?

Rina (Lorelei): Lorelai is already yelling, just ignorin' Faith.

Lorelei: Nora! Nora!

cuppycup (Keeper): Nora waves and picks up her pace.

Nora: Oh. Hi, Lorelei. Is your Pa home?

Lorelei: No, he ain't been seen for a couple of days. We're looking for him. You seen him?

Nora: Oh, I thought maybe it was a little family reunion. I haven't seen him, no, not recently.

Blair:  Nora, a pleasure to meet you. Blair Hunter Taft.

Nora: Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Nice to meet you, too, Blair. I've heard all about you. I heard all about all of you from your father. I'm Nora Baker.

Faith: How do you know Daddy?

Nora: Oh, well, you know, he comes into town from time to time, stops by the clinic if he needs medicine, things like that.

Blair: Has he been having any trouble lately? Medically?

Nora: *nervous* Oh, I think. I think maybe. Oh, gosh, it is not my place.

Blair: Just spit it out! We all can take it. 

Nora: Well, Carson, I mean, your father, 89, is a ripe old age. I mean, that is one hell of a time on God's green earth. But I'm afraid the doc thinks he's dying.

Faith: Dying?

Blair: Our father? Nothing can kill Carson Taft.

Pistol: He's going to outlive us all.

Nora: I'm sure he'll fight as long as he can.

Lorelei: What'd they say he was dyin' of?

Nora: Your father seen his fair share of illness. Black lung, white finger, I mean, you name it.

Blair: Yeah, but he beat all those things.

Nora: He did. But, I mean, time takes its toll. It wears you down and sends us all back to the mud.

Faith: When did the doctor say this?

Nora: I heard about it from your father, actually. He came to me asking for a favor.

Faith: When? When did you see him?

Nora: Oh, two weeks back. He wanted me to bring him some silly things. He was looking for, you know, protection. I don't know.

Lorelei: Protection from what?

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack takes notice of your conversation and approaches the group.

Jack: No, no, no, no. She's talking about that granny magic. Yeah, I know this woman.

Nora: Come on, now, Jack. That's not fair.

Jack: No. Now you leave him be, Nora. Don't you start with that superstitious nonsense. Can't you see they're suffering? It's a difficult time here. If you filled Carson's head with ideas about Sadie... Oh, you did, didn't you? I can see it in your eyes.

Becca (Blair): I'm going to cock the hunting rifle, even though I've already pulled back the hammer and say,

Blair: Nora, you better tell us everything you know about granny magic right now.

Nora: Oh, Jesus, God. Oh, Lord who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Lorelei: Nora, excuse my sister. She's got a bit of an authority problem, as in she thinks she's the authority on everything.

Nora: I don't mean no harm. Ok, here. I have this brooch. Your father was just looking for something to, to stay safe in the woods. He thinks there's somethin' lurking out there.

Lorelei: In the woods?

Becca (Blair): I put down the rifle.

Pistol: Was it a witch?

Nora: Maybe. Yeah. Somethin' like that.

Lorelei: Nora, did Pa anything about Sadie?

Nora: Yeah. In fact, he did. He was trying to make things right. You know, I wasn't even sure he had his wits about him, to be honest. 

Jack: Oh, come on. There's no need to listen to this woman.

Lorelei: Jack, shut your mouth for once.

Nora: God, I feel terrible now that he's gone. See, I was supposed to bring these things about a week ago, but things got so busy at the clinic, and I thought it was just the ramblings of an old man.

Lorelei: What did he want you to bring, Nora?

Nora: Oh, this here.

cuppycup (Keeper): She hands you a carved brooch shaped like a horn.

Lorelei: What was this for?

Nora: It's just something I have. They said protection against dark things and magic. I don't know if it's anything, honestly.

Faith: Just... Just something you have? Where did you get it?

Nora: Well, it was my grandmother's. She held on to a lot of the old ways, like your father. He liked his lucky trinkets, didn't he? You can have it. But he did promise me a bottle of his famous moonshine.

Pistol: Oh, hey, I'll go get you a bottle of moonshine.

Danny (Pistol): I'll run and grab one of those bottles underneath the board and bring it back out.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. And as you're going into the house, Pistol, Jack trails you a bit.

Jack: Oh, you know, he owes me $5.

Pistol: Well, I don't got $5, Jack. I got moonshine or nothing.

Blair: Pistol, I'm coming with you. I got to look for something.

Becca (Blair): I want to follow a Pistol inside and check the lucky items in the windowsill and see if I notice any of his favorites missing.

Cam (Faith): Good idea.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me an INTELLIGENCE check.

Becca (Blair): Ok. Well, Blair's not too intelligent. Here we go. That's a FAIL.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, yeah. So, you know, you see all these things he's collected over the years lined up, but it's really hard to tell if there's anything missing because it's not orderly. You do notice that they're facing outward.

Blair: Strange. Did you get that moonshine?

Pistol: I did. But, Blair, before we go outside, before we get to the others, do you think Pa was, like, dabbling in magic? Because doesn't really feel like Pa to me, but something ain't right.

Blair: Well, I don't know if you remember too much about Ma; you were pretty young when she passed, but she had her own sort of spirit within her. She chose to believe all kinds of things. Pa never seemed to take much interest, but maybe he started thinking back. I don't know.

Pistol: Hmm.

Blair: Come on, let's get on out there.

Pistol: Alright, let's go.

Blair: And Pistol?

Pistol:  Mm hmm?

Blair:  I know you work hard. I'm sorry I'm hard on you sometimes.

Pistol: I know you're just looking out, sis.

Blair: You know I am.

Becca (Blair): I give him a punch in the shoulder.

Jack: Did you, did you find my $5?

Pistol: I looked. No $5. Sorry.

Jack: Oh, well, I guess I'll take some hooch then.

Blair: That's Nora's hooch. You keep your hands off that hooch.

Pistol: You help us find Pa, I'll find $5 for you, though.

Jack: Alright. It's a deal.

Nora: I'll take that bottle, if I may.

Becca (Blair): Who's holding the horned brooch?

cuppycup (Keeper): You can pass that to anyone.

Blair: Faith, I think you've got the most delicate hands. I don't see a single callus on them. So how about you hold on to this?

Faith: Alright, I'll take good care of it.

Nora: Thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't be more help. Well, I need to head on back to the clinic. It was nice meeting the rest of you finally.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei, Nora pulls you in a bit closer. Uncomfortably close.

Nora: I can tell you where the shack is. Where I think he went. Where the witch lives. If you want to know.

Lorelei: Of course I want to know. What's my Pa?

Nora: Alright. Well, you head into the undergrowth towards the mountains and look for an uprooted tree. You'll see a small pet cemetery there. Go around and then to the right and the shack is an hour's walk from there. You'll feel it when you're getting close.

Lorelei: Well, that don't sound ominous at all.

Faith: We'll "feel" the shack? Ok.

cuppycup (Keeper): She points to that horned brooch.

Nora: You especially.

Blair: Nora, are you saying that you've dealt with this witch woman before? 

Nora: Dealt with? Oh, no, not me. But I have referred some to her doorstep. I don't care for it myself. But when all else fails, the desperate look for any hope they can clutch onto.

Blair: Alright.

Becca (Blair): I eye her suspiciously. Why does she know so much about where this cabin is?

Nora: My Pa used to take me back there to play and hunt.

Becca (Blair): Oh, as soon as she says hunt, I relax. Oh, I could trust that.

Nora: I'm surprised you don't know where it is, Blair.

Blair: I do know where it is. I just don't like to think about it. I never played over there. I got a creepy feeling, a shiver down my spine any time I took a right at the pet cemetery.

Nora: Well, I'm sure you'll be fine. Have a safe hike. And give your father my best when you find him. I'll be at the clinic if he needs any care.

Faith: Well, before we go into these woods, I think we need to go back inside and look for some more ammunition. One bullet's not going to do as much good.

Pistol: Oh, I do have a riffle. I forgot. It's in the truck.

cuppycup (Keeper): Are you telling me Pistol has a rifle and he would have ammunition for that rifle?

Danny (Pistol): Yes!

Faith:  Well, Pistol, you better be prepared to share.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack impatiently extends his arm out toward the woods.

Jack: Are we done here? We best get moving. We're wasting daylight.

Lorelei: If you can keep up with us, Jack.

Blair:  You know, you're the most indelicate of all of us. I don't know how, but you made it this long.

Jack: It's because I know this place. You might want to watch your step.

cuppycup (Keeper): He follows a narrow trail that leads into the pines of the holler.

Rina (Lorelei): I'm going to be looking around to see if there's anything watching us or any unfriendly eyes or anything like that, because several people have now mentioned feeling like they've been watched in the woods.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei stays vigilant. It takes about half an hour to reach the thick undergrowth where more ancient things grow. Cyclopean trees with their roots anchored deep drink from the black earth of the mountains. Their canopies yawn wide, shading the floor from a blinding morning sun and the long cast shade as chilling. Give me a SPOT HIDDEN for Lorelei.

Rina (Lorelei): Alrighty. It's one of the few things I'm good at, and I still FAILED it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Amazing. You do kind of get that chill of being back in the woods, the way you did when you were a child. But you're not seeing anything. It's just a little eerie.

Lorelei: Y'all, it feels really uncomfortable out here.

Pistol: Yeah. You're telling me.

Jack: These woods build character, Lorelei. Come on. Keep up.

Lorelei: Character? Sound like my Ma.

Jack: Yeah. Your father was a character, was he not?

Pistol: What do you mean, was?

Lorelei: I'm not sure I like your phrasin' there, Jack.

Pistol: What do you mean, was a character?

Danny (Pistol): I cock my rifle.

Jack: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, listen, kids. I don't mean to assume the worst. It's just... He's been gone for days now, right?

Pistol: Any more references to Pa should be made in the present tense, alright?

Jack: Alright, alright. Look, I don't have to schooling that Faith does.

Pistol: I don't either. But I'm not going to talk about Pa like he's dead.

Danny (Pistol): I put down the rifle.

cuppycup (Keeper): He's searching the ground, maybe for tracks.

Blair: You looking for animals, Jack?

Jack: No, I'm looking for feet. Your father's footprints.

Danny (Pistol): Can I try to help with that? I have a... Oh, no, I don't have TRACK. Never mind.

cuppycup (Keeper): You're all welcome to try a TRACKING roll, even if you're not skilled in that.

Danny (Pistol): Ok.

Rina (Lorelei): Half the fun is rolling things that you're bad at.

Danny (Pistol): Oh, no, I got a 3! That's a HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): You know you're bad at something when 3 is not an extreme success.

Becca (Blair): Oh, my God. Yeah. *laughs*

Rina (Lorelei): I FUMBLED.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, wow. Oh, I love that. Lorelai with 100. Let's start with you.

Rina (Lorelei): Mm hmm...

cuppycup (Keeper): While everyone in the family is searching the area, looking for tracks, Jack is doing the same a little farther out. Lorelei, you've wandered a bit, following what might be human footprints. You're deeper into the undergrowth than your siblings as you're trying to pick up your father's tracks. And as you kneel down close to the ground, trying to move away, some leaves, something brushes against you. It strokes the back of your head, your hair, and then you hear leaves rustling as it scampers off deeper into the woods.

Blair: What's wrong, Lorelei?

Lorelei: Something touched me.

Blair: What kind of something?

Lorelei: I don't know. It just... It touched my hair and I heard it running away.

Faith: Well, it's probably just a squirrel or a little bird or something.

Blair: I don't know any squirrels and birds that like to touch the back of people's heads.

Faith: It probably fell out of a tree. It's the woods.

Lorelei: If it fell out of a tree, it would have landed on me or something. Not just, like, brush my hair real creepy like. Like Eugene does.

Blair: You think your husband stroking your hair is creepy?

Lorelei: You ain't felt the way he does it. 

Blair: I knew you all had some problems, but that seems to be number one. It's why I never married. I think all men are creepy.

Faith: I think maybe y'all need to sit down and talk a little bit, work some stuff out.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* I want Eugene to show up now. So I will say, since Lorelai called attention to this, you could all try for a HARD SPOT HIDDEN roll.

Danny (Pistol): REGULAR SUCCESS.

Cam (Faith): SUCCESS.

Danny (Pistol): I could spend 5 LUCK...

Rina (Lorelei): REGULAR SUCCESS.

Danny (Pistol): Ok, I'm going to do it. I'm going to spend 5 LUCK.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pistol, here's a shadow moving behind one of the bushes deeper into the woods. You see it rustling about 30 yards away.

Danny (Pistol): I'm going to aim my rifle.

Pistol: *whispers* Yo, there's something there.

Jack: Pistol, you're jumping at shadows now. It's just a, just a turkey vulture or something.

Lorelei: See, I told you it weren't no squirrel.

Faith: What the hell is that?

Pistol: Don't look.

Becca (Blair): I look. 

cuppycup (Keeper): The movement dies down.

Becca (Blair): I want to sneak up on whatever it is and kind of poke the bush once I get there after trying not to crunch leaves on my way.

Rina (Lorelei): Ok, hold on. Blair thinks men are creepy and wants to poke the bush.

Becca (Blair): I think you know everything you need to know about Blair.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Oh dear. Becca, could you give me a HARD STEALTH roll for Blair sneaking up?

Becca (Blair): Oh, sure can. Oh, I'll spend 9 LUCK. I'm not afraid.

Danny (Pistol): Yeah!

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. You tiptoe across the leaves, making your way over to this bush that is now rustling gently. What are you doing when you get there?

Becca (Blair): I am going to just, like, belly flop onto the entire bush.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Yes!

Becca (Blair): Out of nowhere. I'm trying to hold whatever is in or around the bush where it is. I want to grab somethin'.

Rina (Lorelei): Sounds like a normal day for Blair.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a DEXTERITY roll for Blair.

Becca (Blair): HARD SUCCESS!

Danny (Pistol): Yes!

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. You belly flop onto this bush and smother something that was crouching behind it. You can wrestle it to the ground, and it's a person - is it a person? - with stark white skin and overly long limbs, bones, hollow facial features. It's trying to free itself with these clawed hands. The slender fingers reach up around your arm. It squirms and struggles against you.

Blair: Help me out, everybody, quick! I caught something.

Danny (Pistol): I'll run over with my rifle and, like, point it right at it.

Blair: I need your hands. Not your gun.

Pistol: Well, if it gets away, I'm going to shoot it.

Cam (Faith): I'll run over and try to help her hold on to it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok. Both of you give me STRENGTH rolls, just to see how well you're doing.

Becca (Blair): I got a REGULAR SUCCESS.

Cam (Faith): Oh, FAIL.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack calls back from further ahead.

Jack: *distant telling* Hey now! What are you up to back there? You found somethin'?

cuppycup (Keeper): Everyone's ignoring Jack. But even with Faith's help, it thrashes and fights with mangled limbs pressed down into the leaves. You get a good look. It looks human, but ill and deformed.

Becca (Blair): But longer limbs and paper white skin. If I look into its eyes, what color is it?

cuppycup (Keeper): They're gray.

Pistol: What the fuck?

Blair: Who are you? Lorelei, come see what's been stroking your hair.

Rina (Lorelei): I come wandering over, plant my hands on my hips.

Lorelei: Who the hell are you? What're you going around touching women's hair for? That's creepy behavior.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's writhing and fighting recklessly against Blair's grip.

Blair: Help from anyone would be useful. I don't ask for a lot.

Pistol: Should I shoot it or should...I don't know what to do, sis!

cuppycup (Keeper): It is going to attempt to attack Blair just to get free, thrashing hard. Faith, you have the first action.

Cam (Faith): I'm going to try to stab it with my knife.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, that's awesome. Partly because I didn't even know you had a knife. Give me a FIGHTING BRAWL roll, and this thing will FIGHT BACK.

Cam (Faith): That early success has just doomed me.

cuppycup (Keeper): As Faith brings the knife down to stab at this creature, it claws your forearm, throwing the blade off to the side, down into the leaves. That takes... Oh, God. 4 points of DAMAGE from Faith. Your arm is bleeding from raking claws. This is excruciating. And the creature's writhing more wildly now.

Blair: This thing doesn't even have hygiene. Look at those nails.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei acts next.

Rina (Lorelei): Can I try and help hold it down?

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a STRENGTH roll.

Rina (Lorelei): Ok. Strength's not great. Yeah, I FAILED that.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei moves to help pin it down to prevent it from doing further damage. But it's not working. It continues to fight against Blair's grip and on its action, it's going to attack Blair with a clawed hand. Would you like to DODGE this or try to FIGHT BACK?

Becca (Blair): Oh, you know, I'm FIGHTING it BACK.

cuppycup (Keeper): I knew, but I wanted to give you the courtesy of asking. And it's actually FAILED its attack.

Becca (Blair): So did I! *laughs*

cuppycup (Keeper): It's twisting to get up. But every time it does that, you're able to force it back down into the leaves.

Blair: No, you don't.

cuppycup (Keeper): And it's Pistol next in the order. Jack's finally making his way back to check on the commotion.

Jack: What is with you lot? There is no time for hunting.

Blair: Jack, what is this thing?

cuppycup (Keeper): He's walking toward you, angling around the bush here while Pistol does what?

Danny (Pistol): I'm going to take that gun and just stick it right in this thing's face and pull the trigger.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok...Wow. Yeah.

Danny (Pistol): It's hurting my sisters.

cuppycup (Keeper): Since you're right there at close range, I'll let you roll with 2 BONUS dice.

Danny (Pistol): Alright. That is, that is a SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): The explosion soaks Blair and splatters Faith with blood and brains.

Blair: *noise of disgust*

cuppycup (Keeper): This thing is truly dead. Its grip on Blair goes slack.

Jack: Oh, Jesus Christ. What did you do?

Blair: Looks like we got dinner.

Faith: Ewww.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. Everyone give me a SANITY check.

Danny (Pistol): SUCCESS.

Becca (Blair): FAIL

Rina (Lorelei): FAILED that.

Cam (Faith): FAIL.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Everyone who failed, everyone but Danny, give me a d6 for SANITY loss.

Rina (Lorelei): 5.

Cam (Faith): 6. Whoa.

Becca (Blair): Blair lost 3.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, give me an INTELLIGENCE roll for Lorelei.

Rina (Lorelei): I get a BOUT OF MADNESS!

cuppycup (Keeper): And Cam, give me an INTELLIGENCE roll for Faith as well.

Cam (Faith): FAIL.

cuppycup (Keeper): So Faith is going to have some involuntary reaction to this, a response to the utter terror at seeing this thing's head blown off right in front of you. Faith is frozen in fear.

Cam (Faith): Ok, yeah.

cuppycup (Keeper): Rina, unless you'd like me to do it, I will let you decide your BOUT OF MADNESS.

Rina (Lorelei): Lorelei just starts laughing hysterically and can't figure out why she's laughing, but it just seems so bizarre and so weird. And this is the kind of stuff she tried to get away from. And here she is, back in it.

Blair: Lorelei, look at me.

Lorelei: *laughing hysterically* You see that thing? Oh, It's so, so horrible.

Jack: Hey, hey, Lorelei. Lorelei, what the hell is wrong with you?

Pistol: It ain't funny.

Lorelei: No, it ain't funny, but I can't stop laughing about it.

Blair: Am I going to have to do that thing?

Lorelei: What thing? *laughs*

Becca (Blair): I slap her.

Rina (Lorelei): I slap her back while still laughing hysterically.

Becca (Blair): I slap her again.

Blair: We're not little girls anymore. I'm trying to snap you out of this.

Jack: Hell, you two haven't changed much, have you? So strong willed. How's this helping anyone? It's time to start accepting things are changing for all of us.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei, you're going to have more control over your laughing fit. Your cheek is stinging.

Lorelei: Now Pistol, what'd you go and shoot that thing for?

Pistol: It hurt Faith.

Lorelei: You know, we don't know what it was. It looked like a person. You might have just murdered somebody.

Blair: That thing certainly wasn't a person. It's alright, Lorelei.

Lorelei: It could have been. Mighta drunk the wrong moonshine or something?

Pistol: Oh, no. Moonshine don't make you look like that.

Lorelei: Don't go shooting things up close like that in the future, Pistol.

Pistol: Look, I was just looking out for my twin. I'd do the same for either of you as well.

Danny (Pistol): Yeah. I'm going to, like, rip off part of my shirt and try to, like, bandage Faith's wounds.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a FIRST AID roll to stop the bleeding.

Pistol: Sorry sis, it's still bleeding.

Faith: It helps a little bit. You did your best.

cuppycup (Keeper): The effort was a comfort. It brings you out of your shock.

Pistol: Are you feeling alright? Does it hurt?

Faith: It hurts. But I'll be alright. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

Blair: What do you all think? Should we bring it?

Pistol: I don't want to be carrying around something like that now.

Jack: Would you rather leave it here?

Blair: But what if we roast it? I mean, there's not much muscle and it's stringy looking, but it is something for dinner.

Pistol: You're kidding, right?

Faith: It looks too much like people.

Blair: You get prissier every day.

Faith: Absolutely not. I'm not eating that.

Blair: Alright, then I'll hide it.

cuppycup (Keeper): Becca, give me a LUCK roll to see how well hidden this is.

Becca (Blair): HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. You shove this thing into the bush and it's barely noticeable.

Blair: You don't know how many things I've hidden down in those coal mines.

Pistol: We have to talk later, sis.

cuppycup (Keeper): Everyone who wants to can give me a SPOT HIDDEN, see if you noticed anything while Blair was hiding the body.

Eugene: HARD SUCCESS for Pistol.

Becca (Blair): FAIL for Blair.

cuppycup (Keeper): And Cam, is that a SUCCESS?

Cam (Faith): Yes.

Danny (Pistol): Whew!

cuppycup (Keeper): Faith and Pistol, you're going to notice that the body is wearing some kind of article of clothing, like a filthy rag draped over it. And there's something tucked into that. You saw it as Blair dragged it into the bush.

Danny (Pistol): I will grab it out of wherever it's tucked in.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, it's the corner of what looks like a photograph.

Danny (Pistol): What kind of photograph?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's a photo of the four of you when you were children, playing in one of those makeshift forts outside of the shack.

Pistol: What the fuck?

Danny (Pistol): I hand it to whoever's closest to me.

Becca (Blair): I'm actually 22 years older. So I'd just like to point out that I am super hot and young in this photo.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, that's going to be the first thing that strikes everyone when they see it.

Faith: Oh, look at you, Blair.

Blair: Damn. Mines really change ya. Wait a minute. What? Why does this thing have a picture of us?

Becca (Blair): Is the second thing I notice.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. And as you hand it off, Faith, you notice on the back the word "family" is written.

Lorelei: You don't think that was Pa, do you?

Pistol: Oh, no, that was not Pa. Absolutely not.

cuppycup (Keeper): Right as Pistol says that, and you're all looking at the photo, you do recognize your father's broken handwriting.

Becca (Blair): Oh, Jesus. Cup, no!

Lorelei: It could have been Pa.

Blair: I looked in its eyes and I didn't see an ounce of father.

Pistol: Absolutely not. I think this thing took this photo from Pa. I think it means we're on the right track.

Blair: I think it also means he's in trouble.

Pistol: Right. He was looking through his photos, so he would probably have taken them with him, whatever was in that box that Ma left him.

Blair: And this thing wasn't friendly to us, so it was definitely looking for us and not in a good way.

cuppycup (Keeper): During this discussion, Pistol notices from the earlier tracking success fresh footprints. Looks like bare feet.

Danny (Pistol): Do they look like they would fit inside of these boots that I'm carrying?

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, good call. You can put one of those boots down right on top. And sure enough, it's a match.

Pistol: Pa has been this way.

Blair: Yeah, that's his lazy toe.

Danny (Pistol): *laughs* One toe's like off to the side.

Blair: Lead the way, Pistol.

Becca (Blair): And I want to kind of walk and talk with Pistol for a second and say,

Blair: I think you did the right thing back there. It was a tough call to make.

Pistol: Thanks. I was having doubts. And thank you for saying that because I just wanted to look out for you.

Blair: I know you're lookin' out. Appreciate it.

Pistol: I think Lorelai was mad at me, but once we find Pa, this will all be alright, right?

Blair: That's right. And I think Lorelei is just mad in the head more than mad at you.

Pistol: Ok.

Blair: That was a lot for her.

Pistol: Yeah, no, you're right.

Lorelei: I can hear you, you know.

Pistol: What? No, we were whispering.

Lorelei: I raised you two.

Rina (Lorelei):  Looking at Pistol and Faith.

Lorelei: You think I can't hear a whisper?

Pistol: Alright. I was just saying I'm sorry that you're mad at me, and I, I just, I just want you all to be safe and know that I love you, okay?

Blair: Alright. Enough of this mushy gushy hee haw.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack's going to scurry forward to walk with Pistol and Blair.

Becca (Blair): Love that he scurries.

Jack: Bad, terrible things out here. Your Pa shouldn't have come this way, put us all at risk like this. You know, nothing good's going to come out of going this way.

Blair: But, Jack, you know Pa don't care about nobody but Pa unless it's convenient. I don't think he gave two thoughts as to who would come after him looking for him.

Jack: Oh, I don't know. I felt like he cared about at least 50% of you kids. 

Blair: That's sweet. Thanks, Jack.

Pistol: Well, we know he didn't come out here of his own volition. He came out here without his boots. Somebody dragged him out here.

Jack: I don't know about that.

Faith: He didn't intend us to come to no harm. Come on, now.

Lorelei: Maybe he was sleepwalking.

Faith: That that could be true. I mean, he probably was pretty drunk.

Blair: Maybe he was visiting Ma in the backyard and just saw something.

Faith: You just always have to make it creepy, don't you, Blair?

cuppycup (Keeper): As you continue your march through the woods, you hear an echoing wail all around you, a moaning which seems not quite human.

Blair: Y'all hear that?

Faith: Who was that?

Jack: Will you listen to that? I did say these woods aren't safe tonight. Come on, we must be on our way.

Becca (Blair): Yeah, I'm going to follow behind Pistol because he seems to really have a hold on these tracks.

cuppycup (Keeper): Following the prints, your group approaches a rotting, uprooted tree that's almost serving as the wall for a pet graveyard. This is a small collection of plots, 20 graves or so, all dated between 1880 and 1925. There are no names on the markers, and those dates are crudely painted onto the surface of makeshift headstones.

Blair: Ma used to take me out here when I was a little girl and she'd make up stories about the the polar bears and the gators that were buried here.

Jack: Yeah. Your mother, she was a comforting soul to anyone that needed a mother. Treating them all like family. No matter who you dragged back with you after playing in the woods.

Blair: Ma really was the best, she was.

cuppycup (Keeper): Everybody looking at these small grave sites can give me INTELLIGENCE checks.

Cam (Faith): I FAILED.

Rina (Lorelei): I got an EXTREME. 2 out of 45.

Becca (Blair): Amazing.

cuppycup (Keeper): Lorelei, you're the first to notice that the handwriting for those dates looks like your father's handwriting. Well, most of them. Not the recent ones.

Lorelei: Y'all. This is...this is Pa's handwriting. What the... Who was he burying out here?

Faith: Dogs and cats, you know. Oh, it's kind of sweet when you think about it.

Lorelei: Is it, though? We only had the two dogs and the one cat that showed up and Ma chased away. What was he burying out here?

Faith: Anybody got a shovel? We can find out.

Blair: You know I love to dig in a grave, babe!

Becca (Blair):  Yeah, I think I have about the size of a hand kind of spade.

Jack: Now, why would you want to dig up poor animals for? I know you're the Tafts, but this seems cruel. Let let sleeping dogs lie.

Pistol: I'll help Blair.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, ok. Jack throws his hands up and stalks away as you ignore him. You're welcome to unearth whatever's in one of these graves, but it's going to take time, even with the spade and your helpers.

Becca (Blair): Yeah. I'm just, the freshest looking one on the closest to the end of a row, I'm just going to start digging in one spot, straight down.

cuppycup (Keeper): Fortunately, it's not that deep. And the point of the shovel hits something hard. Rock, maybe bone.

Becca (Blair): Bingo bango.

Pistol: What are you expecting to find?

Blair: Whatever it is, I think I found it.

Becca (Blair): And I'm going to reach in and try and pull out whatever the hard thing is.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. So you can pull at it and sweep away some of the dirt with your gloved hand. And this is a long bone.

Blair: A polar bear skull!

cuppycup (Keeper): But the bones are all twisted and mangled. This is a strange thing as you unearth more of it.

Blair: Help me keep uncovering these bones. Oh, there's something here.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, I think once you have it mostly exposed, the skeleton looks, humanoid, and gnarled bones and joints are going to remind you of that thing Pistol shot in the head.

Pistol: What's that doing being buried in a pet cemetery? One with Pa's handwriting on the gravestones?

Faith: Maybe he was getting rid of them because they're dangerous.

Pistol: See, that's a sensible answer. That's what we sent you to school for.

Jack: Are you finished being ghouls? Let's be away from here.

Danny (Pistol): I'm forging on.

Becca (Blair): I think we've seen all there is to see here.

Faith: Wait up, Pistol.

cuppycup (Keeper): As Blair stands up from this desecrated grave, Becca, give me a SPOT HIDDEN just to see if she notices anything else.

Becca (Blair): FAIL. Hey, you know what? I'm going to spend 10 LUCK because this is a one-shot, baby.

Danny (Pistol): Yeah!

cuppycup (Keeper): Curiosity is getting the best of Blair. And as your siblings move on, you dig a little bit more, even after you have a good sense of the size and shape of the skeleton. And you do find something. It's dirty, but something that doesn't look like bones pokes up from the dirt. It looks furry.

Blair: What the hell?

Becca (Blair): I keep digging out around it. I grab a hold of whatever pelt I can see and I yank.

cuppycup (Keeper): You pull this thing up, and it's tattered, barely holding together at all. It's a stuffed bear that Faith used to play with.

Blair: Faith. Wait. Is this Mr. Tuppers?

Faith: It looks like Mr. Tuppers. I mean, it's real dirty, but it looks like it. Why would he bury it here?

Blair: That is the strangest thing. I can't think of a single reason. Maybe he kept this thing as a pet. He wanted to give it something cuddly?

Faith: Maybe. I mean, it kind of makes sense if his mind was starting to go.

Blair: I'm bringing it with us.

Faith: Well, it is ours, after all. It didn't belong to that thing.

Lorelei: We're just taking what's ours.

cuppycup (Keeper): Add Mr. Tuppers to your inventory. 

Becca (Blair): On it.

Lorelei: Do you think his first wife's the witch and like, these are their weird, twisted children or something? Like in that fairy tale Momma used to read us.

Blair: Sadie Taft, I do declare.

Cam (Faith): We'll look at the dates. Do the dates coincide with when she disappeared?

cuppycup (Keeper): Sadie disappeared 45 years ago. They're after the disappearance, all of the dates.

Faith: Now I look at the dates, I don't, I don't think they could be their children.

Lorelei: Well, I mean, it's after she disappeared, maybe he was keeping her out in the house in the woods because she was a witch woman and didn't want the Holler to find out about it.

Faith: You don't just lock them up in the woods and have monster babies.

Lorelei: *skeptical* Uh huh.

Pistol: Pa needs us. Let's go.

Cam (Faith): I follow Pistol.

cuppycup (Keeper): You make your way out of the cemetery, trudging past Jack, who stands there in silent judgment. He meets each of your eyes as you go. The thickets grow dense now, and it's hard to move forward following an overgrown animal trail. After about 15 minutes, you need to push through large brier bushes. Jack follows behind quietly.

Blair: Hope you all wore boots.

Pistol: I got Pa's if anyone needs them.

cuppycup (Keeper): Which reminds me, you are picking up more of his footprints in this direction. They cut right through the thickets.

Pistol: If we're worried about time, then I think we just got to press on as direct as possible.

Blair: Yeah, I'm with Pistol. Let's keep on moving forward.

cuppycup (Keeper): Ok, everyone, give me a STRENGTH check to pass through.

Becca (Blair): SUCCESS for Blair.

Faith: EXTREME SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, nice. Faith can jump over.

Cam (Faith): Dribbling blood over the brambles, I leap.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* A leap of faith. Lorelei, you may be a little jealous seeing how graceful this is.

Rina (Lorelei): Yeah, well, I FAILED it anyway.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pistol and Blair, you fight your way through. It is a struggle, but you're able to make it to the other side intact. Lorelei, this is slow going for you. You do take tearing damage from these brier thickets, and it's going to be 2 points of DAMAGE. You're bleeding from your calf.

Rina (Lorelei): I am not having a good day, y'all.

Blair: A mini skirt was not the right choice of attire for a romp through the woods.

Lorelei: Well, I didn't know we were going in the woods, now, did I, Blair?

cuppycup (Keeper): As Lorelei is hung up in the thickets, Jack stops, but he doesn't help. He studies you closely. His demeanor seems to have changed.

Lorelei: Yes, Jack? See something you like?

Jack: Huh? Oh, no, no, no.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a POWER roll for Lorelei.

Rina (Lorelei): Oh, God. Why did we bring Jack? I got a HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): I rolled a 100.

Rina (Lorelei): And you FUMBLED! You got a CRITICAL FAIL!

Danny (Pistol): Yes!

Becca (Blair):  Whoops.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack takes in another long look at Lorelei. Before he flickers, you see a glimpse of root bound earth black veins undulate as they shift the roots clutch and grab it falling clay all pulling and binding into the form of Jack.

Lorelei: Y'all. I think Jack might be a haint.

Pistol: A what? 

Blair: He h'ain't what?

Lorelei:  A haint. You know, like a ghost or a spirit or something. 

Blair: Jack?

Becca (Blair):  When the rest of us look, what do we see?

cuppycup (Keeper): With the fumble, you all see a writhing tangle of rotting roots and ink black veins. It fights to hold its form, sculpting itself into Jack. His eyes are the only sign of humanity left as it leers at Lorelei. Then they, too, flicker, replaced with boils like pus-filled blisters, the pupils shifting behind a thin membrane.

Pistol: Lorelei, get on the other side of the thicket, now!

Lorelei: I'm trying, I'm trying!

Danny (Pistol): And I aim the rifle at Jack.

Pistol: What are you?!

Faith: Shoot him, Pistol.

Blair: No, don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Jack, are you feeling all right?

Jack: I'm just fine, Blair. Let's get moving.

Lorelei: Don't be shooting the haint. You don't want to be angerin' the haints, Pistol.

cuppycup (Keeper): You point your wavering gun at this thing which was Jack, as its roots squirm against the wet mud of its form, losing the struggle, parts drop wet to the ground crumbling. It loses its human shape, falling among the brier thickets. A smoldering black smoke swirls, leaves and insects, clumps of earth and clay, churn inside, flaking into hot cinders which are swept up by the breeze.

Blair: What in the hell happened to Jack?

Pistol: I don't think that was Jack. I think there was something else. There's something weird going on here.

Lorelei: I told you he's a haint.

Blair: What if that was always Jack?

Lorelei: Some kind of witch spirit or something?

Faith: Well, they say you pay the spirits liquor. We should have gone ahead and given him that moonshine.

Blair: *yelling* We told you there's moonshine in this for...you!

cuppycup (Keeper): The roots twist and contract as greasy smoke, cinders and ash swirl up from this hideous form high into the canopy. A baleful wail builds in the surrounding wood, causing birds to take flight. All seem drawn, flustered and confused to within Jack's reach, the pulsating veins strike out and pull birds inside the mud and clay new material for its failing form. Everyone, give me a SANITY check for what you're witnessing.

Rina (Lorelei): Alright.

Becca (Blair): FAIL for Blair.

Cam (Faith): HARD PASS

Danny (Pistol): Oh, Pistol FAILED.

Rina (Lorelei): I FAILED.

cuppycup (Keeper): Faith is holding up reasonably with 1 point of SAN loss. But everyone else give me a d8.

Rina (Lorelei): Oh, only 1.

Danny (Pistol): Are you kidding me?

Rina (Lorelei): *laughs* Yay!

cuppycup (Keeper): Nice. 6 for Pistol.

Becca (Blair): Just 1 for me, too.

Rina (Lorelei): I think I kind of startle back.

Becca (Blair): Blair drops the rifle. Dropping this rifle is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to Blair.

cuppycup (Keeper): Danny, give me an INTELLIGENCE check for Pistol.

Danny (Pistol): Oh, it's a good thing I'm not as smart as I say I am.

cuppycup (Keeper): You avoid a BOUT OF MADNESS, but finding Pa has become that much more urgent for you. Pistol runs off deeper into the woods.

Blair: Oh. Oh, there he goes. Pistol wait up!

Becca (Blair):  And I sprint after him.

Rina (Lorelei): I do too.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jack's body is torn open, sending bouts of smoke, corkscrewing upward. More hapless sparrows are snatched up, fed frantically into the now exposed infernal innards of this terrible thing. Muddy clumps bake and fall away, letting the fire reach the wet growths which whine like rotten fruit thrown on hot coals. The tangled ganglia burned to ashen motes which flit away on the winds. All that is left is the cooked clay shape of Jack crumbling to dust.
 
cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!