Note: Ain't Slayed Nobody is produced for the ear and includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

BLEEKER TRAILS, EPISODE 1: FIRST ACT

cuppycup (Keeper): Ain’t Slayed Nobody is a produced actual play podcast intended for adults and may contain material that some people find disturbing. Please see the episode notes for content warnings and listen with care.

Lady Liggett: *heavy accent* I see you lurking there. Welcome, my dearies. I speak to you from this land to yours, for I am Lady Liggett, the fortune teller in this story. I do not mind if you listen; Waldo and I might enjoy your company, but you must hush now. I sense him close by, and soon we begin our strange tale.

Bleeker: *knocking* Hello? You alive in there, Dot? *coughs* What a smell.

Waldo:  *squawks* You die first.

Lady Liggett: *regular voice* Oh, Waldo. Be nice. Come on in, Otis. I got some mint tea just off the stove.

Bleeker: Pity the bird hasn't made it into the stew pot yet. I could build a replacement, you know.

Lady Liggett: To what do I owe the pleasure?

Bleeker: As if you don't already know. I need your advice on our new recruitment push. That last batch did...poorly.

Bleeker: So I saw. Well, shall I take down your wise words once more? Yeah.

Bleeker: Say, are we alone? There aren't, you know, curious souls that can hear us out there? Are they listening now? Hello?

Lady Liggett: Otis! Well, I'm waiting. What do I write?

Bleeker: I don't know. I'm trying to think. What would entice the best of the best?

Lady Liggett: Hmm. Shall I look upon the mists of time with my crystal ball and fathom the words from the other side? *slips into accent* And just two pieces of silver need cross my palm.

Waldo: *squawks* An adventure, an adventure!

Bleeker: He's got a point.

Lady Liggett: Yeah, he is annoying like that.

Bleeker: OK, how's this? "Help wanted: seeking individuals of exceptional talent. You are hereby invited to apply for a coveted position within the loving embrace of the Bleeker traveling family."

Lady Liggett: *laughs*

Bleeker: What?

Lady Liggett: No, sorry, keep going.

Corbitt: "Join our gifted misfits as we wander the lands with our glorious exhibits and fine products."

Waldo: *squawks noisily* 

Bleeker: Can I get through this, please?

Bleeker: Did you get that?

Lady Liggett: *sarcastic* Oh yes, this is good stuff.

Bleeker: "Follow your heart's desires and explore towns as extraordinary as you are. Help bring them salvation and joy by applying to Bleeker's Marvelous Medicine Show. Find us at Junction Town where the railroads cross. Tell us of your wildest adventures and special talents, be it bizarre, brave or out of this world. We want to know it all."

Lady Liggett: Oh, that'll bring in the loons, for sure. I'll get this to the right people.

Bleeker: One more addition: "Come by coach, by rail or by trail."

Lady Liggett: Oh, we're rhyming.

Bleeker: Wait, I've got it: "As we head down darker trails."


Lady Liggett: Oh, for fuck's sake. We're going to get dandies and dead  men with your prose.

Waldo: *squawks* Dead man walking!

Bleeker: Indeed. But we'll need those, too.

('DEAD MAN WALKING' BY CODY FRY PLAYS)
♪ I AM A DEAD MAN WALKIN' 
♪ I SEE THE LIGHT COMIN' 
♪ AND IT FEELS WARM ON MY FACE
♪ BUT I CAN TELL IT'S GONNA BURN ME DOWN

cuppycup (Keeper): The date is September 12th, 1894, and Otis Bleeker's advertisements have scattered across the country like seeds in the wind, adorning the walls of every barroom, boarding house, train depot and bordello from San Francisco to Arkham. And Chuck, I believe your character, Eli, is answering the call.

Chuck (Eli): He has actually hitched a ride with a sort of a traveling wagon caravan, and he's been keeping everybody in good spirits by entertaining them at night with card tricks. And they were going to be going down to San Antonio, so he figured he'd ride along as close as he could get to Junction and then make his way on his own.

cuppycup (Keeper): The banging on the wall from the driver of this wagon you're on lets you know that you've arrived to the outskirts of Junction. Peering out through the canvas into the dark, your eyes are met by rows of dilapidated shacks. You remember the driver saying he didn't fancy stopping here, and now you might know why. As you watch the empty windows with peeling shutters, you imagine the abandoned homes hiding termites and other crawling things. Their doors cling to their frames on bent nails, knocking in the brisk night's wind.

Chuck (Eli): Yeah, I've been to Junction.

cuppycup (Keeper): Good. I'm glad I captured the essence. One of the folks you're traveling with, Travis, the one who looks more like a boy than a man, he removes his cap and shakes his head, looking past you at rows of oddly-shaped houses lined up in the night like a boot hill grave markers.

Travis: Are you sure you don't want to come down to San Antone? Me and the boys got work lined up and the pay's good. 25 cents an hour, I'm told. This place looks dangerous.

Eli: Oh, I think I'll be all right.

Travis: Oh, well, we'll miss having you around. I'll miss having you around.

Eli: I appreciate your kindness in this matter.

Travis: Say, if we ever make it this way again, we'll stop on by and check on you.

Eli: You come and take a look at the show. I'll make sure you've got tickets right in the front row.

Travis: Well, if you got more tricks up your sleeve, it's a date.

Eli: My lads, you have no idea.

Travis: Well, here, let me help get your things.

cuppycup (Keeper): Travis slides your trunk to the back of the wagon as you climb down to the mouth of a dirty alley leading into Junction. Taking hold of the handle, you have to pull it free from his grip.

Travis: Well, until we meet again. Goodbye, Eli, thank you and good luck out there.

Chuck (Eli): And Eli does not even look back to wave goodbye.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK. You trudged through the dark alleys, dragging your heavy trunk behind you, trying to find your way to a main road under the Comanche Moon. You step over crumpled papers littering the alley, the familiar recruitment fliers for the medicine show. Did Eli respond to the advertisement?

Chuck (Eli): He replied in a letter, written actually with a pretty nice hand. And he said,

Eli: I came across your advertisement at a flea market in Trinidad as I was passing through Colorado, and I believe my skills in the magical arts may be of some interest to you. I am a veteran of the stage, entertaining crowds for many years, though I am currently between engagements. I am seeking gainful employment, as well as the means to travel and learn more about the mysteries of this land and its people. I believe in this our stars may be aligned. Sincerely, Arcanum. P.S. Was this your card?

Chuck (Eli):  And enclosed in the envelope is a single playing card, which is the King of Hearts.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, that's cool.

Chuck (Eli): Eli is not particularly interested in what Junction has to offer outside of the contents of that flier.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK.

Chuck (Eli):  So he is trying to figure out where exactly whoever wrote that flier is so he can just get to it.

cuppycup (Keeper): You haven't seen any people yet, but given the poor condition of these houses, that might be welcomed news.

Chuck (Eli): OK, well, then he is going to walk into town.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, Chuck, give me a LISTEN roll for Eli.

Chuck (Eli): OK. That's a FAIL on my LISTEN roll. *laughs*

cuppycup (Keeper): Good start. Emerging from the gloom of the alley into the bright lights of town, you step in front of oncoming horses and you stumble backwards into the dirt. The luxurious stagecoach they're pulling shoots by with a man gawking at you from the carriage window.

Milford: Hey, look where you're going, scum.

Eli: It appears that this town does not even have a Chamber of Commerce or Tourism Board. Is there anyone who might help a visitor to your town?

Townsperson 1: *laughs* The lanky bastard fell over.

Townsperson 2: *coughs* That one won't last a week here.

Eli: Well, perhaps next time, then.

cuppycup (Keeper): Eli dusts himself off and carefully steps out to collect his crumpled hat. You'll take a PENALTY die on social rolls until you get cleaned up. Now, let's see who's in that lavish coach that almost ran you down.

Milford: Moni, did you see that ruffian? This town will be the death of us,

cuppycup (Keeper): Bridgett, your character Moni arrives to Junction with a bit of grandiosity. This private coach is luxurious, with fine plump cushions and lacquered paneling, yet it offers no relief in the stifling heat. Even with the windows open and dusk setting in, you feel like you are fusing with the leather seats being jostled along the potholed road. This discomfort reduces your companion's small talk to a distant din.

Milford: We should have gone to the big city. I swear, these small towns are always crawling with vermin.

cuppycup (Keeper): The town is run down, but at least you see a train whistling into the station. It may offer an escape, but for now, at least, the torment of this ride is coming to an end.

Bridgett (Moni): Moni is sitting very uncomfortably. Her hair right now is completely sweated out; it *was* tied back or braided back into a singular bun. She's wearing her black leotard, and of course, there's an exaggerated amount of cleavage spilling out as she's just dripping with sweat. There's absolutely nothing anyone can do to cool her off. The gentleman offered her a handkerchief, she goes through that. She starts fanning herself. That just makes her feel hotter.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah. And Moni realizes she's fanning herself with the recruitment flier for Bleeker's medicine show. Where did you pick that up?

Bridgett (Moni): Yeah. Moni, at the time that she was introduced to the flier, was actually working in a traveling circus. She was carrying on a relationship with two brothers, and at one point, while she was lying in bed with the younger brother, he came in with this flier whispered sweet nothings to her like, "I can take you away from the circus. We can join this medicine show. We can be exclusive. It'll be great." And she politely declined and said, No, she was happy here, and she enjoyed the company of his brother as well. But the next morning, she took the poster and she left, so she made her way to Junction in all the ways that Moni makes her way across these lands. There was a very kind gentleman who was heading this direction, and she found out after they were finished and was like, oh, fantastic, what a coincidence. I'm heading that way, too.

cuppycup (Keeper): After they were finished. *laughs* Good. From the parked wagon, you see a large saloon across the street advertising rooms for rent. A group of men are watching your wagon from the porch. You can smell the booze on them. From here, your companion Milford Hardpenny looks at them with disgust.

Rina (Patience): Oh, Milford.

Bridgett (Moni): *laughs* Oh, Milford. Milford Hardpenny.

Milford: Do you want to stay here? Perhaps we can find better for you, my dear. 

Moni: Perhaps *you* should find out what's going on.

cuppycup (Keeper): Stumbling over himself, Milford gets down from the carriage.

Bridgett (Moni): She rolls her eyes with mild annoyance, like this is not going to be the trip that she was expecting. She will get up and start collecting Milford's things, either to take with her or to hand back to him whenever he gets back. Whichever one strikes her first.

cuppycup (Keeper): *amused* Right. Very well, give me a LUCK roll for Moni.

Bridgett (Moni): Wow, the first roll of the game is a LUCK roll. I don't know how I feel about that. *laughs* I feel suspiciously not OK about that. Love your entire face. That will be a HARD LUCK success for Moni.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh, nice one. The men in front of the saloon are eyeing Milford when they notice you stepping down, heaving that luggage.

Jesse: Ah, new arrivals. How's my hair? Do I look alright?

Townsperson 2: Looks like shit, Jesse. Pretty good for you.

Jesse: I'll bet he's got something worth taking.

Townsperson 2: I'd like to start with his lady friend. Already taken a shine to that one. *whistles*

Jesse: Shut up, you'll scare them off.

cuppycup (Keeper): The one who's not leering at Moni staggers to his feet. He brushes down his tattered waistcoat and approaches you while Milford takes in the town.

Jesse: Let me get that bag for you, miss. It looks heavier than you are. It's no trouble, I'll just get this inside for you. But if you have a spare coin, God willing?

Moni: Oh, darling.

Bridgett (Moni):  And she'll do a quick spin where the flaps on her skirt fly up, so it's very obvious that she doesn't have any place on her to keep money. And she's like,

Moni: I am penniless, my love. I must rely on my charms.

Jesse: Surely your husband's got some money?

Milford: Oh, well, now these can be hard times for us all, my good man, and I wouldn't have you trouble yourself with with our suitcase. I'll be carrying my own bag.

cuppycup (Keeper): He's trying to wrestle the bag away from Milford.

Bridgett (Moni): Oh, Moni gives this exaggerated sigh of just exasperation, and she asks the man fighting with Milford.

Moni: But darling, darling, what is your name? Again, I'm so sorry for not asking earlier.

Jesse: Hey, if you buy me a drink, I'll tell you my life story, miss.

Milford:  I appreciate what you're doing, but I will take my bag.

cuppycup (Keeper): Milford manages to pry the suitcase from his grip.

Bridgett (Moni): Fantastic. Well, that settles that.

Moni:  Milford, we should probably get checked into a room, no?

Milford: We've already lost a lot of light and this town is clearly not safe.

cuppycup (Keeper): Milford is glowering at the vagrant who's still hovering.

Jesse: I'm Jesse. Folks call me Jesse.

Moni: Thank you, Jesse. Say, do you know of Dr. Bleeker?

Jesse: Oh, I sure do. Everyone knows the marvelous Bleeker.

cuppycup (Keeper): He makes a mocking gesture, pointing the way.

Jesse: They've taken over the South End. Can't take a step in this town without hearin' his name.

Moni: They've taken over the south part of town, huh? How long have they been here, honey?

Jesse: Oh, feels like years. Must be about 6 months now, though.

Moni: OK, Jesse, how about you take us to the best lodging that this town has to offer? I need to write a small correspondence, and I may be able to spare a coin if you'd be so kind to take that correspondence to the medicine show. That work for you?

Jesse: Oh yes. Mighty generous. Allow me to present you the finest lodgings in Junction.

cuppycup (Keeper): He gestures grandly to the building 5 feet in front of you.

Jesse: The Fair Shake Saloon, yes madam. You'll love it here, so long as you avoid the staff.

Moni: Well, aren't you just darling? How about you take the lead and once we're all checked in, I'll have that letter prepared for you, does that sound OK for you, Jesse?

Jesse: Oh, I sensed a kind heart in you. Thank you very much.

Lady Liggett: He signals for you to follow him through the batwing doors of the saloon. You're looking past Jesse into what seems to be a rowdy watering hole before you walk into the Fair Shake Saloon. Let's check back with Eli in the alley. From a building across the street, raucous laughter catches your attention. The sign above the door reads Fair Shake Saloon. It's the only building you've seen so far with a fresh lick of paint, a brilliant gold tooth in a town of decaying molars. A stagecoach rolling away from the saloon draws your eye to a gaudy collection of wagons and tents on the south side of town.

Chuck (Eli): And it looks like a medicine show?

cuppycup (Keeper):  Yeah, it looks like it. The wagons back up to a dirt berm that surrounds the bustling city of tents.

Chuck (Eli): No offense but, in character, Eli's going to the medicine show. There's an opportunity for a character interaction there, but I'm playing in character and he's not interested in that interaction.

cuppycup (Keeper): No worries. I'm sure you'll have other chances. So then Eli heads toward the sounds of the entertainment. The excitement is concentrated around a stage, where a passionate flamenco dancer and her trio of musicians have the crowd enthralled. The night air is tinged with smells of burning wood and cooking stew as you pass colorful costumes hung from a web of washing lines. You turn at the sound of thrashing inside a cage from the pens beyond. In that direction, a flustered dandy scrambles at a knocked-over lantern, which reveals a massive shadow throwing itself against the bars of a wagon. Another man wearing a turquoise coat with tails and a top hat retrieves and returns his lantern in stride, then gracefully turns his attention to the audience. An inaudible quip gives rise to a round of laughter, and he approaches you, clapping along to the music.

Eli: Excuse me, sir, are you, uh...

Pinky: Oh, zee compere? Indeed, I am. It is a delight to make your acquaintance.

Eli:  Right... 

Pinky: I adore your hat! Well, and you must be, um... Ah, yes. Yes. We've been expecting you. You are...who?

Eli: The name is Eli, although you may have received my correspondence under the name Arcanum.

Pinky:  Arcanum! Hmm. Well, there must be some mistake. How could we not have you listed? This is outrageous! Professor Bleeker himself told me of your greatness. I shall fix this error right now. I cannot wait to see you...whatever it is you do.

Eli: Where might I find this Professor Bleecker?

Pinky: Oh, I'm afraid he's indisposed at the moment, but at a more opportune time, he would love to meet with you personnellement.

Eli: *skeptical* Indisposed? Indisposed.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Give me a PERSUADE roll with a PENALTY die as the compere winces at your dirty suit.

Chuck (Eli): It's a 74, which is a FAILURE.

Pinky: I'm terribly sorry, Professor Bleeker told me he is not to be disturbed for the next hour.

Eli: So what would you propose that I do for that hour?

Pinky: Why not perform? We are all on the edge of our seats waiting. *wheedling* Would you deny us the pleasure of seeing your greatness one moment more?

Eli:  I see.

Pinky: Oh, come on, what is this cruelty? Arcanum is the name on everyone's lips. Unless you do not wish to follow the skill of Las Senoras.

cuppycup (Keeper): The moment is punctuated by applause as the dancer with her flowing yellow dress and a huge hibiscus pinned in her hair strikes her final pose with a fan in her hand. *crowd applauds*

Chuck (Eli): Eli's competitive streak comes out a little bit, and so he grabs his trunk and without asking, walks up onto the stage.

Pinky: Chop chop! This is painful. Allez, ladies, come on, please. Can you finish in an orderly manner? We must stick to the schedule!

Dancer: *yells in Spanish*

Corbitt: Hey, be careful! *yells in French*

Dancer: *in Spanish* You look like a penguin, Pinky.

Pinky: Ah ah! I heard that!

cuppycup (Keeper): As the dancer and her band file off in their glimmering costumes, the compere gives Eli a toothy grin. The stage backs up to an orange wagon and holds simple furnishings and prop barrels, which are blanketed with confetti and flower petals from the previous act.

Pinky: Ladies and gentlemen, gird your loins, for I give you the one and only Arcanum!

Eli: Who here is interested in seeing feats of the magical arts?

Townsperson 3: What the heck did he just say?

Townsperson 4: Did he say magical arts?

cuppycup (Keeper): Despite a lukewarm reception, there is a group of children eagerly waving at you.

Chuck (Eli): Eli sees one of those children in the front row, and he bows very dramatically and doffs his hat. And on top of his head is a rabbit that jumps out towards the kids.

cuppycup (Keeper): Nice. The rabbit leaps off Eli's head and runs a circle around the children.

Eli: I have been traveling. That is my only rabbit. Does anybody know where it might have run off to?

cuppycup (Keeper): It's been scooped up by a man in his 40s wearing an emerald vest and leather pants. Content, the rabbit sits there grooming itself as the man grins at you.

Chuck (Eli): I will pick the most unremarkable looking of the gentleman in the audience, and I'll say,

Eli: You, sir. Would you be so kind as to assist me?

cuppycup (Keeper): That man puts his head down and waves you off, but then a kid, maybe it's his son, tugs on his shirt.

Child: Pa, Pa, you have to do it. Please!

Eli: A reluctant participant. I understand, sir. The dark arts can be a bit intimidating. I assure you you will be in no harm.

William: Fine.

cuppycup (Keeper): He trudges up to the stage and turns to glare at his boy. He's got a sun-weathered face and wears a white shirt and brown trousers with short little roper boots. He has a pea shooter on his hip, a little derringer.

Eli: I assume, sir, as I have just arrived in town this very hour, you and I have never met. Is that correct?

William: I don't think so. No, I'd remember the hat.

Eli: Good, good. What is your name, sir?

William:  William.

Eli:  Round of applause for my assistant William!

Child: That's my pa!

Chuck (Eli): *laughs* I just have like sort of a charcoal pencil. And I'm just going to draw an X on the wall.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, yeah, you can draw it on the wagon.

Eli: My friend William, would you mind coming over here, please?

William: Yeah, I've never done this before.

Eli: *chuckles* Me neither. I kid, I kid. Ha ha ha. Anyway, now William,

Chuck (Eli): And I'm going to put one of my hands on his shoulder, and in the other hand, I'm going to pull out a playing card in the palm of my hand and with a flick of my thumb, it is going to appear to start spinning.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK.

Eli: William, I want you to relax. I want you to stare deeply at this playing card. I want you to fixate on the sound of my voice. I want you to listen to me. You are in a calm, deep, relaxed state, and when I snap my fingers, you will be prepared to listen to every word that I have to say.

Eli: Hopefully, I will have hypnotized him. With a good roll, I suppose.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, give me a role for HYPNOSIS.

Townsperson 3: Is this devil magic?

Chuck (Eli): That's a SUCCESS. REGULAR SUCCESS.

Eli:  Ladies and gentlemen, my friend William here is now at my every whim. William, when I snap my fingers again, you are going to draw the pistol at your hip and you are going to take aim at that X. And then the audience here is going to give you a count of 10. And when they reach 10, you will fire. Do you understand?

William: I understand.

Eli: Good man. Alright, William.

cuppycup (Keeper): William draws his gun and points it at the X on the wall. His hand is steady.

Townsperson 4: 1!

Eli: Ladies and gentlemen, I need you to not begin the count yet while we prepare the remainder of this trick.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* OK.

Eli: I will need one further assistant. I won't trouble the rest of the audience if our great compere would mind joining me briefly on the stage.

cuppycup (Keeper): Somehow, the compere is standing behind you as though he's materialized on the stage.

Eli: Gah! If you would be so kind as to the handcuff me in front of the X.

Pinky: *laughs* These are without a doubt the most secure handcuffs I've ever encountered.

Eli: Yes, yes. Thank you very much for your assistance.

cuppycup (Keeper): The compere handcuffs you to handles on the side of the wagon then retreats behind a stage prop. William points the gun at you with a vacant stare.

Chuck (Eli):  And I do have a key to the handcuffs hidden in the sleeve of my jacket.

Eli: Ladies and gentlemen, if you would begin the count!

Crowd: One!

cuppycup (Keeper):  Give me your ARTS AND CRAFTS: MAGICIAN roll for this entire sequence. 

Crowd: 3!

Chuck (Eli): Hey, I SUCCEEDED in something! 

cuppycup (Keeper): And Eli finally slips out of the first pair of cuffs.

Crowd: 6!

Chuck (Eli):  It's a spin which kind of flares nicely with my long coat that I wear. And then I come up with both hands up with both pairs of handcuffs in one of those hands.

Crowd: 7! 

Child: 10! Shoot 'im, Pa!

cuppycup (Keeper): With the early count, I am going to roll for William, just to see if he FUMBLES. The instant 10 is called, he makes the shot.

Chuck (Eli): Hey!

cuppycup (Keeper):  The gun jumps and an explosion of splinters erupts in the center of Eli's X.

Townsperson 4: Aaaah! A shot! We're under attack!

Chuck (Eli): *laughs* That's perfect.

Eli:  Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you again to my assistant, William, who is a bit of a crack shot, I must say. William, I want you again to listen to the sound of my voice, lock onto the spinning of the card. And when I snap my fingers, you will awaken.

Chuck (Eli): And then I sort of give a wry grin to the audience and I say,

Eli: Should we have a little bit of fun with my friend William? Now, William, for the remainder of the day, you're very interested in the circus yourself. In fact, you think that possibly you could be the compere. I'd say there's no better day than today to begin practicing. So whenever the compere is on stage, you will be standing behind him, mimicking him perfectly.

Pinky: Well, that is just a little joke in black, ladies and gentlemen.

cuppycup (Keeper): William looks confused, he's looking down at his pistol, he's visibly shaken.

Eli: Might I help you relax a bit?

Chuck (Eli):  And I pull a cigar out of my jacket and light it, and then I hand it to him.

cuppycup (Keeper): William hesitates, but he'll take a couple of puffs.

Chuck (Eli):  And then, without warning, I grab one of my throwing knives and I throw it to pin the cigar to that wall.

cuppycup (Keeper): Oh my God, I love that. Give me a THROW roll with a HARD SUCCESS, since it's a small moving target.

Chuck (Eli): HARD SUCCESS. 24.

cuppycup (Keeper):  OK. I was worried this guy might die.

Chuck (Eli): I know, that would have been really embarrassing if I killed a guy on the very first show.

cuppycup (Keeper): The knife flies through the air and splits the cigar down the center before sticking into that wall. William is stunned. The other half of the cigar falls out of his mouth, which is now hanging open.

Crowd: *applauds and talks amongst themselves*. 

Eli: Just saving you from yourself, my good lad. That's a filthy habit.

cuppycup (Keeper): The compere joins you and William for the applause and takes a bow.

Pinky: Everyone, let's hear it for Arcanum! One more time, encore!

cuppycup (Keeper): William moves directly behind him, taking exaggerated bows. He even holds his index finger over his lip to mock the compere's mustache.

Chuck (Eli): *amused* Nice.

Pinky: Would you stop that?

Chuck (Eli): Excellent, excellent. And I take my leave.

cuppycup (Keeper):  And the compere runs down the steps to meet you, shooing away the children.

Pinky: Out of ze way. Ah, bravo! That was marvelous.

Eli: I would like to speak to Mr. Bleeker now.

Pinky: Oh, what a happy coincidence. The professor was disappointed you did not find him the moment you arrived. He insists on seeing you this instant. Follow me! 

Chuck (Eli): Nice.

cuppycup (Keeper): As you follow the compere to meet Professor Bleeker, an obsidian black cat on the overhang of a red wagon catches your eye, arching its back, yawning too wide, barely seen against the dark. It settles into a hunch and stares at you with deep amber eyes, as if deciding your fate. The letters scrawled on the wagon side in gold leaf: "Mystic Liggett, Fortune Teller." Eli snaps out of his reverie and sees the compere is already ahead at the green wagon. He looks back and waves for you to hurry along. But before you enter, let's check in across town, Moni and her companion Milford were following one of the locals, Jesse, into the Fair Shake Saloon. When Moni pushes through those shuttering doors, she sees a long bar along the right side and a winding staircase in the back. Customers are drinking what looks like watered-down whiskey. They're playing cards and carrying on. The class of customer in here is a mix of folks like Jesse and clientele who are a little more well-to-do. There's someone working very hard behind the bar; she's a plump woman with long blond hair, big blue eyes, and she's clearly tending bar with her blue apron on, along with what must be every piece of jewelry she owns. Her wrists and fingers are covered in fake gold.

Bridgett (Moni): Moni will take in the room, then look up to Milford like,

Moni: I think water will be fine for now. And based on what everyone was drinking, you may be paying top shelf money for the same water.

Milford: OK, well, whatever you wish.

Lady Liggett: Milford clumsily makes his way to the bar and puffs his chest out a bit. You hear the muffled sounds of him ordering and inquiring about a room. The woman behind the bar looks over Milford's shoulder at you. You're in the leotard, of course; she nods approvingly in your direction, and Jesse is standing there with his hands in his pockets, inching closer to Milford.

Jesse: And a whiskey for me, sir, if you will.

cuppycup (Keeper): Milford doesn't acknowledge Jesse, but he returns with your glass of water and a whiskey for himself.

Moni: Thank you, darling. So, Milford, why did you say you were coming to Junction? Apologies if you already told me.

Milford: I'm in the import and export business, and I have a very important meeting with a Mr. Friend, some kind of official here. I don't want to bore you with the business, my darling. I'll take care of the room tonight. Sally here is quite helpful.

Moni: Oh, would you? Oh, that's so kind of you. Thank you.

Bridgett (Moni): And then she will very quickly skirt around Milford and go to the woman at the bar and she'll say,

Moni: Sally, is it?

Sally: Yes, I'm Sally Winthrop. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. You are a doll.

Bridgett (Moni): Moni does the finger wave over Sally's earrings and wrists and shoulders, just all of the jewelry that she's wearing.

Moni:  A beautiful arrangement.

Sally: Oh, these all things? Thank you.

cuppycup (Keeper): Sally holds out her right hand, admiring her rings.

Bridgett (Moni): Mona admires them as well, andshe's doing a quick look over like, am I seeing anything of value whatsoever on this woman?

cuppycup (Keeper): You have some APPRAISE. Give me a roll on that, Bridgett.

Bridgett (Moni): Ha! That skill came in handy.*laughs* And she FAILED it, too.

cuppycup (Keeper): Not handy this time. It doesn't look valuable. Some of them might be, but the style isn't your expertise.

Bridgett (Moni): Some of them might be interesting.

Moni: Sally, do you have parchment and a pen that I could possibly borrow to write a letter?

Sally: I'm sure we do in the back. Jed, bring me something for writing.

cuppycup (Keeper): The man who walks out of the back room with a scowl looks like a pretty mean fellow. He's a tall, well-built young man with broad shoulders. You can see that he's wearing long pistols on his hips. Those look shiny and new, almost like they'd never been fired.

Bridgett (Moni): I gotcha. Super shiny. Moni does have a couple of quick questions for Sally while she waits for her jet to get the paper, and she says,

Moni: So, Sally, rough times for the town? We saw quite a few abandoned buildings on the way in.

Sally: Well, it's been tough with the trains not stopping as regular. The town's having a bad year, is all. And the likes of him isn't helping our prospects much. 

cuppycup (Keeper): Sally smiles and waves at Jesse, who gives her a sarcastic bow.

Sally: What brings you to Junction anyway?

cuppycup (Keeper): She looks over your outfit again with a raised eyebrow.

Bridgett (Moni): Moni throws her a playful wink and doesn't immediately answer the question, and she says,

Moni: Sally, I was wondering, in a fine establishment like this, do you have professionals working?

Sally: We do. Are you looking for the prices or the wages?

Bleeker: Well, depending on how things work out with the medicine show, I may be looking for temporary work.

Sally: For you, we can certainly make an arrangement.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jed walks behind the bar carrying the things you need to write your letter. He stands there holding the paper while he chews tobacco, looking casually around the saloon. He sets the pen and paper down, takes a glass and sloshes whiskey into it.

Moni: Thank you so very much, Jed, for your time.

Bridgett (Moni):  And she's going to try to hide that sarcasm and she will get to work on that letter.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jed misses that sarcasm and tips his hat to acknowledge your thanks.

Jed:  Ma'am.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jed throws back his drink and then erupts into a spluttering cough.

Bridgett (Moni): Moni scribbles out the letter as quickly as she can, and the letter reads,

Moni: Greetings to the illustrious Otis Bleeker. I could tell you of my talents, my qualifications and why your expedition needs me, but I could show you better. We'll meet soon. Moni.

Jesse: Oh, is that the letter for Bleeker?

Bridgett (Moni): I shall spray the paper with perfume and hand it to Jesse, along with the money that she promised.

cuppycup (Keeper): Jesse takes that letter and coin from you and begins to belly up to the bar.

Moni: Oh oh, Jesse, darling, that letter's scented and you're not. If you could just go deliver that first, just straight down to the medicine show, I'd really appreciate that.

cuppycup (Keeper): He reluctantly pulls the letter back out of the jacket and slams the coin down on the bar.

Jesse: Sally, I'll be right back. Have my drink ready!

cuppycup (Keeper): Sally rolls her eyes and scoops up the coin as Jesse heads for the exit.

Bridgett (Moni): Poor Jesse.

cuppycup (Keeper): And a few minutes later, Eli sees a frazzled man approaching, yelling, waving a piece of paper, but you can slip inside Bleeker's wagon, leaving the compere to deal with the vagrant. The plush furnishings and decor are a stark difference to the abandoned shacks of Junction. Dusty books are stacked in piles in every nook and cranny, with most of the wagon given over to some sort of workshop and laboratory. Boxes of gears, springs and different gauges of wire litter the surfaces. A man in a tiny waist coat, his red cravat partially undone, sits behind a small desk surrounded by disassembled brass animals. These line the shelves you are passing as well. You see the back half of a mouse, an intricate turtle and an overturned lizard. On the desk, a songbird hops around beneath a bell jar as he walks in.

Chuck (Eli): Arcanum grabs the little mechanical turtle and starts kind of looking at it and tinkering with it.

cuppycup (Keeper): The man doesn't see you at first as he attends to a clockwork beetle. Its legs twitch with each turn of his miniature screwdriver. His fingers are weighed down by gold rings, but move nimbly. He eventually notices you and nods in your direction with a phony smile.

Eli: And I presume that you are the Bleeker that I have heard so much about.

Bleeker: Of course you have. Come sit by the light. I want to see your eyes.

cuppycup (Keeper): He ratchets the small tool, causing the beetle's legs to spasm like grasping fingers.

Bleeker: Oops, there we go. I am at your service. Please pay no mind to my little toys. They will be gentle if you are.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Bleeker sucks air in over his teeth as he winds up the beetle and sets it on its spindly legs. It scuttles a few inches, then stops. He plucks it back up and opens the belly compartment with a deft touch.

Bleeker: I'm humbled that you decided to join us here. Have you been to Texas before?

Eli: Not through Texas specifically, no, sir.

Bleeker: Wise, sometimes it's best to know the ground you walk on. Dangerous world out there.

Eli: It is certainly that.

cuppycup (Keeper): The small brass beetle squeals as the professor delicately plucks at its innards until the eyes of the beetle burn sapphire.

Eli: Could you tell me what it is exactly that you and your...

Chuck (Eli):  And Eli sort of just gestures vaguely outside of the wagon.

Eli: ...band here do?

Bleeker:  Of course. I hoped Pinky would show you around. We are a close-knit community of misfits, performers, merchants, doctors, creators.

cuppycup (Keeper): He sets the beetle back down with a grin, and its little mandibles jut out as it sets off across the desk.

Bleeker: Those lost and cast out from society find sanctuary at my door. Talented people, troubled minds, you know. I see their gifts. I mold them. Help them achieve their dreams.

Eli: And do you primarily stay in this fine town?

Bleeker: Age is claiming its toll from me. As of late, I've been here most of the time, with my pets. *whispers* There, there. *normal volume* But this is a traveling show.

cuppycup (Keeper): He taps a finger on the bell jar and the beetle swivels over to explore the glass.

Bleeker: What of you? Would you like to see the country?

Eli: To put it mildly, yes. As much as Junction may be a grand town, I have designs on going elsewhere.

cuppycup (Keeper):  While talking to Bleeker, you hear a click inside the turtle you're fiddling with, and it springs to life. Its flippers rotate and the head eases out of its shell, craning its neck to face you. You feel its black eyes looking through you, Eli.

Chuck (Eli): When that happens, it's the closest that Eli has gotten to what you could call a smile since he has arrived in Junction.

cuppycup (Keeper):  OK.

Chuck (Eli): He is vaguely amused by this thing.

cuppycup (Keeper): Bleeker is studying the turtle now, but speaking to you.

Bleeker:  I'm happy to hear that you like to travel. I do need people who can handle themselves, who can act independently but do not balk at the tasks I assign. It's a dark world out there, Arcanum. We need to have some degree of structure and predictability to our business.

Eli: What manner of tasks is it exactly that you're referring to?

cuppycup (Keeper): Now he's thumbing through the envelope you sent him, turning over that king of hearts in the lantern light.

Bleeker: OK, let's see. *snickers* My card. Yeah. Clever. I've led an interesting life, Arcanum. That's why I want to help others. I have discovered and taken great interest in the vile things in this world, fetid creatures of the night. Therefore, my purpose is twofold: one, to entertain the masses while running a profitable business to do what you've already experienced in our camp. Secondly, more importantly, I desire to learn more about the mysteries of the region. Strange things have been happening throughout the West. Have you heard about them?

Chuck (Eli): With this last bit of conversation, he has Eli's rapt attention at this point, and Eli has put down the clockwork turtle.

Eli: Not specifically here, no.

cuppycup (Keeper):  The turtle slowly slinks across the wood toward Bleeker's beetle.

Bleeker: Oh hey, you'll learn in time. How soon are you willing to commit to the hunt?

Eli: I have no particular engagements in Junction, Texas.

Bleeker: Good. We have tents available. You're welcome to store your things, take your rest there until I have a job for you. As early as tomorrow.

Eli: That would work nicely.

Chuck (Eli): And he turns to leave, but then he turns back and he says,

Eli: Could I trouble you to keep this remarkable device?

Chuck (Eli): And he picks up the turtle again.

cuppycup (Keeper): Give me a PERSUADE roll with a PENALTY die for that dirty coat.

Chuck (Eli): Come on, baby. Yeah! HARD SUCCESS. 31.

Bleeker:  Yes. Of course. I have many clockwork animals. As you can see, they're all dear to me, but this one seems to have an affinity for you, Arcanum. And we must enjoy life while we have it.

Chuck (Eli): By the time that he finishes that sentence, the turtle is already gone.

cuppycup (Keeper): Alright.

Chuck (Eli): He didn't see him put it in a pocket or anything.

cuppycup (Keeper): That's great. The beetle crawls across the desk searching for the turtle, and Bleecker looks up at you with childlike delight.

Eli: I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Chuck (Eli): And Eli takes his leave.

cuppycup (Keeper):  As you exit the wagon, you see the compere fidgeting near the corner of the wagon.

Pinky: Oh, there you are. I hope it all went splendidly. Well, I shall show you to one of the finest tents you have ever stayed in. It is a marvel, fit for a king such as yourself.

Eli: Could you tell me which direction it is?

Pinky: Yes, this one, straight ahead to the left.

cuppycup (Keeper): And he points to a very modest beige tent.

Chuck (Eli):  And Eli walks away without further conversation.

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* OK, very good.

Pinky: *yelling* Independent. Uh-huh. Yes, we do like that!

Chuck (Eli): So I'm going to walk the town for now and I may end up at the saloon. But for now, I'm just going to sort of walk generally in that direction and see if anything is going on in this busted-ass town.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, you can do that. Are you walking north?

Chuck (Eli): Yeah, I'm on the main road, just sort of heading up, seeing what I see.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, yeah. As Eli heads into town, a rider approaches from the opposite end of camp. Rina, why has Patience made their way to the medicine show?

Rina (Patience): So Patience found this help wanted poster pinned to the door of the Last Chance Saloon in El Paso. They put their hand on it as they were closing the door, felt a piece of paper, tore it away, shoved it in their pocket without thinking about it, and found it in the morning when they woke up, talked about it with Mickey and Caroline. Both of them said it might be a good idea for Patience to get out of town for just a little bit, for...reasons. Patience sat down and very laboriously wrote out a letter:

Patience: Dear sir, my name is Patience Cartwright. I can use guns real well. Some call me the bestest shooter in Texas, and it might be true. I can ride horses real good and my horse Rascal is good for trail riding and also for me shooting from his back. Thanks. Patience Cartwright.

cuppycup (Keeper): It's been a long road getting here, and you arrive into Junction from the south. Patience is greeted by gaudy tents and wagons plastered with signs and slogans, declaring this gathering "Bleeker's Marvelous Medicine Show". A flurry of performers ready themselves for their acts while others huddle around stew pots at campfires. You urge Rascal forward into the throng of the giddy public beguiled by the seductive atmosphere. They cheer for more and drink the night away.

Rina (Patience): They're looking around, just taking everything in. They slow down as they come in closer to town. They look kind of cheerful, just happy-go-lucky.

cuppycup (Keeper): A pair of children sit in the hands of a statue, which looms over the heads of the bustling fun. They wave down at their parents, then the statue walks off with the children; they're screaming in glee. You realize this is a giant, a real giant, and she might be 8 feet tall.

Rina (Patience): *laughs* Are you sure it's not 28 feet?

cuppycup (Keeper): *laughs* Yes, her name's Erica the Red. When she clears out of the path, you see a man who's dressed quite neatly in a turquoise suit, and he appears to be flagging you down.

Pinky: Bonjour! Greetings, howdy and hello.

Patience: I'm Patience Cartwright, I'm looking for Dr. Bleeker

Pinky: Ah, of course, Patience with the flowery prose. Yes. Yes. Doctor Bleeker told me everything about you. You're an American. Is that correct?

Patience: That would be right.

Pinky: Ah, tres bien. Oh, it is a pleasure, I'm sure. But alas, dear Patience, I'm afraid Professor Bleeker is indisposed. He is at an important meeting and you must be well, um, patient. *laughs* In the meantime, I cannot think of a more opportune time for us to see your breathtaking act. I am the compere and your humble servant. You are wonderful, of course, and I see endless potential from you.

Patience: Oh, now I bet you say that to all the genderfluid gunslingers that come through.

Pinky: No, I don't make a habit of flattery. Now is there anything I can do to help prepare for your act?

Patience: Well, I could use some kind of interestin' targets, I suppose.

Pinky: Let's see what I can find. Be ready to go on stage in ten minutes, ok, can you do that?

Patience: I reckon so. Water for my horse?

Pinky: *snarky* Yes. Why use a trough when I can bring the water to the animal?

Rina (Patience): Patience is going to stand there because they're feeling a little saddle sore, so they don't want to sit down, but they're going to walk around a little bit, roll up some tobacco, make a cigarette, smoke a little bit. See everybody.

Patience: Well, now it seems like this place could use some livinin' up.

cuppycup (Keeper): The compere, who just walked off in search of targets, reappears out of nowhere as the band finishes up.

Pinky: I couldn't agree more. Now, are you ready?

cuppycup (Keeper): The compere runs to the center of the stage to make an announcement. A man climbs up to the stage and begins mimicking his every movement.

Pinky: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends and fiends. Everyone stay exactly as you are. I know the smells of supper are calling you home, but we have a special talent making their debut. We are making final preparations for...

cuppycup (Keeper): He puts his fingers to his temples and looks at you for assistance with your name. The man standing behind him does the same.

Patience: You can call me The Imp.

Pinky: The Imp!

cuppycup (Keeper): Moni, back at the Fair Shake Saloon, you hear a symphony of gunfire from down the road. Everyone in the saloon is set on edge, that is until you can make out distant cheering and applause. Customers start filing out into the street.

Sally: I reckon we got a new arrival.

Bridgett (Moni): Oh, you know, curiosity always kills Moni. We're going to filter out of the saloon with the crowd.

cuppycup (Keeper): If you bother to look back, you'll see that Milford's hiding under a table.

Bridgett (Moni): This poor baby. Does she babysit the boy, or does she follow the curiosity? We're going to follow the curiosity.

cuppycup (Keeper): Milford is reaching out to you.

Bridgett (Moni): * laughs* Oh, I do not need this.

Milford: The gunshots! I think I would prefer to stay here until it's safe.

Moni: Oh, darling, did you not hear the applause that followed the gunshots?

Milford: Yes. Some cruel mob. It's an execution.

Bridgett (Moni): God, Jesus. So she squats down at this point and she's looking at him in the face and she says,

Moni: Milford, I need you to come out from underneath the table, sweetie.

Milford: Would it be alright if I, if I just waited here, darlin'? I'll secure the room and you can see what's happening out there from a safe distance.

Bridgett (Moni): Well, that sounds like her rent is secured for the night, so she leaves Milford and heads outside.

cuppycup (Keeper): Following the gunshots and the roar of the audience, you head down to the encampment. Several other patrons from the Fair Shake are going eager to find out what they missed. Moni finds herself at the back of the crowd, but through the curling smoke, can see the gunslinger...

Townsperson 3: I've never seen a shot so good.

cuppycup (Keeper): ...there on the stage, wearing a black suit accented with a purple vest and blue cravat.

Bridgett (Moni): Listen, Moni will never stay at the back of a crowd. She is going to use that 75 size and that 90 appearance and she's all,

Moni: Excuse me. Pardon me. Oh, oh, was that your foot? My apologies.

Bridgett (Moni): She wants to see who this is up front now.

Lady Liggett: You can't be mad because you specifically called out these skills, but I want you to roll for SIZE and APPEARANCE.

Rina (Patience): *laughs* He's learned from Scott.

Bridgett (Moni): *laughs* OK, well, we can rock with that lesson learned. We've got a FAIL on the SIZE, but a HARD SUCCESS on the APPEARANCE.

cuppycup (Keeper): Pushing through the drunken crowd, the stench of bodies is off putting, but you make slow progress as you start forcing your own path through them. Fortunately, each angry glance is replaced with an apology as they notice your beauty.

Moni: Yeah, sorry. You know. Hard to see. Hard to see.

Townsperson 1: Hey, watch it! What are you... Oh, I'm sorry, miss.

cuppycup (Keeper): By the time Moni arrives to the stage, Patience is moving on to the next part of the act. Give me a FIREARMS roll to see how this goes, and since you have the RAPID FIRE pulp talent, you'll get 3 rolls with no PENALTY dice.

Rina (Patience): Mm hmm. Good Lord. 76 over 75. HARD SUCCESS on the 2nd, 36 under 75, and an EXTREME on the last one. 5 under 75.

cuppycup (Keeper): Nice. Patience has been shattering bottles and shooting apples out of the air, but there's one can that they missed. It's teetering, spinning on its edge and on the EXTREME SUCCESS, Patience obliterates that can, which was filled with beans. The beans splash the compere's immaculate turquoise suit. He's now cowering next to the stage.

Bridgett (Moni): *laughs* Oh no.

Townsperson 4:  Look at the compere! 

Townsperson 3: Look at the compere, the silly bastard!

Townsperson 4: He's got it all over him.

Pinky: This is a mockery!

Rina (Patience): *chuckles* Patience just smiles and does the cool sort of blowin' the smoke off and flips their revolvers in their hands and sticks them back into the holsters.

cuppycup (Keeper): The compere climbs up onto the stage covered in food.

Bridgett (Moni): *amused* Oh my gosh.

cuppycup (Keeper): Some people in the crowd have picked weeds and flowers from the immediate area, and they're throwing them up on the stage as you bow. Now, back to Chuck. As Eli is walking the main street, he hears gunfire, followed by applause. The applause grows louder with each bang where the show probably is happening.

Chuck (Eli): Yeah, for sure.

cuppycup (Keeper): While moving up the street, you find yourself glancing down each dark alley you pass. Their tight passages move with the wavering shadows as you walk past the street torches. Chuck, give me a SPOT HIDDEN for Eli.

Chuck (Eli): Oh, I SUCCEEDED on that one with a 41. REGULAR SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper):  Among the shadows at the very end of one of the lanes, you catch a movement low to the ground. There are no lights down that far, so it's hard to see more.

Chuck (Eli): OK, well, Eli is heading down that dark alley to find out what's going on. He's going to see what we do in the shadows.

cuppycup (Keeper): Are you walking quietly?

Chuck (Eli): Oh, yeah, that's sort of Eli's default state.

cuppycup (Keeper): I'm not going to make you roll for that, I just want to understand what it looks like. As you inch closer, your eyes are slowly adjusting to the dark. When you're about 10 feet away, you can see shoes moving back and forth. It's odd. But then you realize this is a man being dragged into a house, and now you hear a wet sound, almost a choking sound.

Chuck (Eli): I saw the bottom half of a man being pulled into a building?

cuppycup (Keeper):  Mm hmm.

Chuck (Eli): OK, well, I'll get closer, but I'm definitely sneaking up on that because I'm unclear on what's going on there.

cuppycup (Keeper): OK, yeah, you can give me a STEALTH roll, and you get a bonus die for your SHADOW pulp talent.

Chuck (Eli): OK, my advantage roll on STEALTH gives me an EXTREME SUCCESS.

cuppycup (Keeper): Nice. You edge closer without being noticed and look into the dark interior for a moment. You see the underlined shadows consuming a man, until you realize what you're witnessing in the dim light. It is a colossal snake eating a vagrant whole.

Chuck (Eli): Mm-hmm.

cuppycup (Keeper): We will leave Eli and let you think about what to do here. Heading back to the medicine show where Patience is finishing their bows, Rina, Patience is going to notice a flustered man crawling around. He's going inbetween the chairs and the legs of the crowd, and a small skunk is trailing him, climbing on stage. He offers you an apologetic smile and the small skunk insists on following him. He lifts it up, then starts to rummage in some prop barrels, cursing to himself. He jumps down and ducks under the stage.

Rina (Patience): I'll accost him, staying away from the skunk.

cuppycup (Keeper): From under the stage, he emerges frowning, and dusts down his emerald green jacket.

Victor: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

cuppycup (Keeper): He's looking around worried.

Patience: Pardon me, sir. My name's Patience. Might I give you some assistance? You seem to be looking for somthin', someone?

Victor: Yeah. Yes. My name is Victor and I'm looking for Lucy. She must be here somewhere. Hmm. You're not afraid of snakes, are you?

Patience: Can't say as I am, as long as they stay away from my horse. But what color might she should be?

cuppycup (Keeper): He gives a nervous glance to Rascal.

Victor: In this light, she's going to be black, but she's reddish, brown and gray most noticeably. She's very, very, very big, 18 feet long, tooth to tail.

Patience: You'll pardon me, I don't got much schooling, but pretty darn sure 18 foot snake's a little hard to lose, even around here.

Victor: Yes, but she does like to hide. Between you and me, I'm sure someone let her out of her cage. Word of advice: the bad performers around here get jealous. We can save each other a lot of trouble by keeping a close watch in the camp.

Patience: Thank you kindly for the advice. I'll be keeping an eye out for an 18 foot serpent by the name of Lucy.

Pinky: Victor, please! They just arrived. We will find Lucy. There is no need to upset a new talent.

Victor: Oh, fuck off Pinky. If anything happens to Lucy, I'll have your head.

Pinky: *angrily muttering in French*

cuppycup (Keeper): Now, Chuck, you've snuck up on this mammoth snake; it's consuming a man hole inside an abandoned house.

Chuck (Eli): Mm hmm. And I've got the drop on it?

cuppycup (Keeper):  Oh my God.

Chuck (Eli): SHADOW does say if I'm currently unseen, I'm able to make 2 surprise attacks.

cuppycup (Keeper): Yeah, it would be a surprise.

Chuck (Eli): OK, so I'm doing 2 knives right to the head. I'm just going to stab it to death.

cuppycup (Keeper): Huh.

Chuck (Eli): You tell me when I've hit the number, because we're currently at 4. There's 3 more, that's 7. There's 3 more, that's 10. There's 1 more, that is 11. 3 more is 14. And 15. And 18. *chuckles* Let's find out how many it will take.

cuppycup (Keeper): You can stop rolling, it's been dead for a while.

Chuck (Eli): *laughs*

cuppycup (Keeper): You are listening to Ain’t Slayed Nobody. For ad-free episodes, heaps of bonus content, and special programming please join our posse at patreon.com/aintslayed or subscribe to Ain’t Slayed Nobody+ at Apple Podcasts. See the show notes for full credits, and help us grow by posting friendly reviews and spreading the word to your friends and followers. Thank you and good luck out there!